I Love Gaming but I Hate Gamers!

[Lord Pendragon]

most of the people that you find in the RPGA are quite pleasent to game with.

It's funny you should mention this, since I've heard exactly the opposite, that many of the folks you find at RPGA games are real whackjobs simply because, per its rules, the RPGA cannot turn anyone away. So you find all the gamers who get kicked out of private games flocking to the RPGA.

 

[Herremann the Wise]

Base a person by his or her qualities, not by their birth date.

I have to say though that in general, older people tend to be... more mature.

However, I agree with your premise that a person's qualities are more important than their age. In the end everybody's different. I game with a bunch of old farts (I'm the youngest clocking in at 32). We all have jobs/wives/families so we're pretty much on the same level which I think is important for a gaming group although not essential.

Gruff,
As to your current difficulties, chin up and I hope you find a better gaming group so you can enjoy gaming once more. I hope you do a little more delurking in the future too - Enworld's a pretty cool place to hang out.

Best Regards
Herremann the Wise

 

[Nyaricus]

However, when you're trying to build a group from scratch, I wouldn't fault someone for setting an age limit. If I were starting a group from scratch, I certainly would. I'd rather miss that one surprisingly mature 15-year-old, and not waste time interviewing the 50 immature kids I'd have to sift through to get to him.

That is completely understandable, and yet you said it yourself just the same as i did - people are mature simply because they are. You can't put a "age-tag" on them - that is unfair and biased. Gruff is having problems with immature gamers - are those any different than teens? 20 year olds? 40 year olds? No.

There are a variety of factors and issues here nowadays revolving around teenagers. Every other one is an angsty, drug-using badass. ugh. I left my old group of friends (and thus D&D group) cold turkey because they had some MAJOR issues with cocaine use and other hard drugs. Adults face the same problems as teens, but they are more 'ajusted'. riiiight.

You play with a 13 year old, i player with 15-18 year olds. The 18 year old is the most immature of the group (and is likely getting the boot) and the 15 year old is the most mature and best roleplayer of the group. I simply dislike ageist comments like the ones aformentioned.

All i have to say at this point is to keep an eye open for good, honest people - both friends and fellow roleplayers; for they come in a variety of guises. Two eyes open, if possible.

cheers!

 

[Nyaricus]

Gruff,
As to your current difficulties, chin up and I hope you find a better gaming group so you can enjoy gaming once more. I hope you do a little more delurking in the future too - Enworld's a pretty cool place to hang out.

can i hear an amen?

AMEN!!!!

 

[rounser]

However, I agree with your premise that a person's qualities are more important than their age.

I agree with you, it seems that way to me too. It also has been my experience that folks who make boastful claims about their maturity or thick skin (particularly on basis of age) can be relied upon to become particularly immature when tested.

One of the annoying things about maturity levels is that you can know your faults, but succumb to them nevertheless because emotions take over before you know what is happening. Perhaps I'm thinking along such lines because I just had raised voices with my brother, and am kicking myself for not keeping the cool that I wish I could. I haven't stayed with him for years, and we fall back into the same old pattern.

If only an alarm clock went off in your pocket when your blood pressure rose, to remind you of what was happening.

 

[Aikuchi]

Being politically correct?

Just curious and I ask this earnestly in context, because the distinction between the characteristics of jocks and geeks don't quite exist (in the same form perhaps) where I'm growing up (Asia) - But is creating that definitive gap of saying some of the 'former jocks' imply that there weren'y very cool in high school a generalization? Or vice versa?

I know that a lot of acquaintances I used to game with in school have long stopped because of others interests in life and the combination of not having anyone to keep playing with. In that respect, I'm lucky to have a few friends who maintain the interest to game. A lot of people have told me that they've outgrown the game, though I suppose from their perspective on what adult life is suppose to be, that they have.

You just have to keep trying if you are interested in gaming. There'll always be some problems as expected and I'm pretty sure you know. But to what level could you deem acceptable or to what relations would you have to expect from your fellow gamers ... just gaming people or friends who game together. Its really up to you.

I apologize if I come across as entirely too forward but I don't understand your second last paragraph and I suppose it confuses me as well as makes me wonder about the rest of your post when you say in the beginning that you're uncomfortable with racial, ethnic and religious jokes?

Mind you, I got a whole brunt of jokes like that at some point of my gaming lifespan while I was travelling in the U.S.A. I am Buddhist, Asian and gay. I hope I'm not speaking out of context.

 

[JustKim]

That is completely understandable, and yet you said it yourself just the same as i did - people are mature simply because they are. You can't put a "age-tag" on them - that is unfair and biased. Gruff is having problems with immature gamers - are those any different than teens? 20 year olds? 40 year olds? No.

That's not true at all. High school is an environment where most are comfortable being inconsiderate of others (Often in the form of cliques) and not taking responsibility for their actions. People in high school are still minors, they are still protected by their parents. When a person leaves high school, their environment changes and they must adjust. Being inconsiderate toward others will stunt your career, social and romantic life. Not taking responsibility for your actions will land you in jail. When people have been let loose in the real world for a few years they become more mature because each of us must become a functional member of society. Yes, some of us are just jerks, but the smart among us learn not to walk around the office bellowing racial epithets.

Maturity is not genetic, it's a learned behavior.

 

[Terwox]

Here, here. Just keep looking. Have you tried inviting your quasi-jock friends to play? Some of them might enjoy it, although if they're competitive, they might enjoy a specific style of play -- which might be great! If they're all not into it, that's fine.

Just keep looking. Did you know any gamers you were somewhat friends with? Have you ever asked them about groups that aren't all mouthbreathers? Might have more luck that way. You said you'd been in a group or two you liked -- why not ask some of those people, if any are still in the same location as you? And as always, try the "Gamers Seeking Gamers" forum, ENWorld is one of the most astonishingly civil internet communities there is. (Albeit it didn't work for me... but I live in the middle of nowhere temporarily.)

 

[devilbat]

Reading this thread shows me how fortunate I have been with groups over the years. I can count on one hand how many individuals we have had at our table, that didn't gel with the rest of the group, in over sixteen years of gaming.

I can't say that I game with friends first. I'm a former jock, who works is sales and marketing. Not exactly a haven for gamers. I can't even say that the people I play with are friends away from the table. Some have been, but not the mojority. I can say that I have gamed primarilly with great people, who have never lessened the game or experience for anyone else.

 

[Henry]

Welcome to the forums, Gruff, and I wish good hunting to you for a good gaming group.

With regards to age and maturity: responsible mature people in their teens are even rarer than responsible, mature 30-somethings; they're "platinum" to the 30-somethings' "gold", because these are the new wave of gamers that have come to the party recently, and they're the hope that the hobby will keep going. If I were putting together a new group, however, I would prefer 20 and 30-somethings to teens, mainly because I have more life experiences in common. That teen MIGHT be mature, married, and hold a job and pay rent like me, but it's more likely the older one is closer to my experiences and I'll be able to socialize more easily outside of the gaming table, which is important to me.

Would I accept a teen into my group? If he was obviously mature, then heck, yeah (assuming parents were comfortable with him/her doing so). Would I go around expecting to find a group like Nyaricus' group to join up with? Heck no, and further I'd have to be absolutely certain that parents, etc. were comfortable with it, because there are a lot of non-gaming issues to consider; I don't want even the slightest hint that I were doing something improper.

(Yeah, I know D&D is "improper" among some circles, but most rational people don't even think twice about it any more.)