Queen_Dopplepopolis
First Post
I'll just say: I have felt your pain and now no longer feel it. It's a good feeling.
I Love Gaming but I Hate Gamers!
- Thread starter Gruff
- Start date
buzz
Adventurer
I guess I've been amazingly lucky. I'm in three groups right now, all of which were spawned from my posting on gaming sites, and all of them are filled with exceptional people. I didn't even have to look that hard. Two were first attempts; I showed up to the initial invitations, and have been gaming with them ever since (about three years now). The third group was spawned from one of the first two, and has been together for two years or so.
I've also met some excellent gamers at ENWorld Gamedays, and gotten many invitations to join their groups (though, sadly, had to decline becasue of my existing commitments). I would definitely reccommend attending your local Gameday, if there's one in your area. The less-desirables have been few and far-between, IME.
Honestly, it's only been at GenCon that I've had genuinely bad experiences, and really only one was egregious.
My advice would be:
1. Ditch your current group. Life is too short for bad gaming. If there's anyone worthwhile, take them with you. Be honest, too. Don't just mysteriously stop showing up. Even if they're jerks, it's common courtesy.
2. Post on sites like ENWorld that you're looking for a new group. Be up-front, but do so without making demands. I.e., don't post stuff like "no teenagers, please" or "no power gamers". It's better, IMO, to simply describe yourself, and let that attract similar people.
E.g., "Looking for a new group to play D&D. I'm 35, male, and have been gaming for 25 years. I prefer story-focused games with emphasis on character development, and would like to campiagn in Eberron. I tend to be a player more than a DM. I prefer gaming in a non-smoking environment."
The various cues in this description should help narrow the field of potential respondents, w/o seeming like you're some jerk who wants them to pass a test.
Of course, they still do have to pass a test. If you dan't enjoy playing with them after 2-3 sessions (or the first session, if problems are obvious), bid them adieu.
3. Be picky, as others have said. If the initial emails or phone calls creep you out, don't waste any more time.
I've also met some excellent gamers at ENWorld Gamedays, and gotten many invitations to join their groups (though, sadly, had to decline becasue of my existing commitments). I would definitely reccommend attending your local Gameday, if there's one in your area. The less-desirables have been few and far-between, IME.
Honestly, it's only been at GenCon that I've had genuinely bad experiences, and really only one was egregious.
My advice would be:
1. Ditch your current group. Life is too short for bad gaming. If there's anyone worthwhile, take them with you. Be honest, too. Don't just mysteriously stop showing up. Even if they're jerks, it's common courtesy.
2. Post on sites like ENWorld that you're looking for a new group. Be up-front, but do so without making demands. I.e., don't post stuff like "no teenagers, please" or "no power gamers". It's better, IMO, to simply describe yourself, and let that attract similar people.
E.g., "Looking for a new group to play D&D. I'm 35, male, and have been gaming for 25 years. I prefer story-focused games with emphasis on character development, and would like to campiagn in Eberron. I tend to be a player more than a DM. I prefer gaming in a non-smoking environment."
The various cues in this description should help narrow the field of potential respondents, w/o seeming like you're some jerk who wants them to pass a test.
Of course, they still do have to pass a test. If you dan't enjoy playing with them after 2-3 sessions (or the first session, if problems are obvious), bid them adieu.
3. Be picky, as others have said. If the initial emails or phone calls creep you out, don't waste any more time.
Last edited:
jester47
First Post
Lord Pendragon said:
I would agree now. Back when it cost money all the whack jobs were too stingy to pay. I have also found that whackjobs don't dig organisation so much. So if you have an org with rules you get some whackjobs but they are not as intense as others would seem.
Aaron.
ThirdWizard
First Post
I've never met a gamer that I disliked. *thinks some more* Nope, never. I've even gamed with random people at the LGS.
jester47
First Post
hey nyaricus,
I was not being agist, just statistical. When you are 23 you will be amazed at how much you changed since you were 19. What I was saing was that all those factors are fairly good indicators of maturity and together the chances of them no being mature are pretty low.
Thats why when you are married, over 25, own a house and a car, have a GPA over 3.5 and a clean driving record your insurance premiums drop through the floor. Statisticly, to have all that you are generally a responsible person.
Another thing, I was assuming that Gruff was over the age of 21. When you are not a minor, doing things with one or more minors looks odd and may cause problems for the senior or the minor. So in that light my advice was coming from the cover your rear perspective.
The only way that I would game with a minor is if 2 or more people in my group knew the parents of the person.
I was not being agist, just statistical. When you are 23 you will be amazed at how much you changed since you were 19. What I was saing was that all those factors are fairly good indicators of maturity and together the chances of them no being mature are pretty low.
Thats why when you are married, over 25, own a house and a car, have a GPA over 3.5 and a clean driving record your insurance premiums drop through the floor. Statisticly, to have all that you are generally a responsible person.
Another thing, I was assuming that Gruff was over the age of 21. When you are not a minor, doing things with one or more minors looks odd and may cause problems for the senior or the minor. So in that light my advice was coming from the cover your rear perspective.
The only way that I would game with a minor is if 2 or more people in my group knew the parents of the person.
Short answer: yes. A few recommendations to add to some very good ones already posted:Gruff said:
1. Find gaming groups populated by guys in their 30s or older. Geeks take longer to get over high school but some eventually do.
2. It is easier to make congenial gamers than it is to find them. You are often better off converting your existing friends into gamers than you are trying to find a good gaming group.
3. Gaming groups with chronic vacancies are especially bad. If you feel you have to join a group, get on a couple of waiting lists rather than grabbing the first open space.
4. Consider putting your own gaming group together, interviewing potential players over beer or coffee to see if they are likely to be socially compatible.
Arashi Ravenblade
First Post
My group consists of a Science and Logical guy
four very conservative christians
An Athiest and another guy who could care less about religion one way or the other.
and a very hyper fifteen year old.
Our ages run from 14-23.
Now every once in awhile someone has heard a great joke and most of the time if they want to repeat it they ask, say what it is an ask if anyone minds so they wont offend anyone.
Now personally i dont beleive in being politically correct, i find it to be wimpy and if you feel someway about something just say it that way, dont sugar coat it. And to be quite honest ive gamed in alot of groups and most of them have felt this way, ask first if something is okay then say it. But I personally dont care, alot of things can be and should be offensive to me but i dont care about what i say to other people so i expect the same from then, now if someone wants to be politically correct thats fine but dont ask it of me.
My group all has various attitudes towards religion, politics, race, ethics, nationality and anything else you could have an opinion over and you know what? No one has ever gotten mad because they have said something the others didnt agree on.
I think the mature part is being able to say what you want and being able to hear others without getting all ticked off. Sure i may not agree with you and i think your wrong but thats ok, so long as you treat me the same.
four very conservative christians
An Athiest and another guy who could care less about religion one way or the other.
and a very hyper fifteen year old.
Our ages run from 14-23.
Now every once in awhile someone has heard a great joke and most of the time if they want to repeat it they ask, say what it is an ask if anyone minds so they wont offend anyone.
Now personally i dont beleive in being politically correct, i find it to be wimpy and if you feel someway about something just say it that way, dont sugar coat it. And to be quite honest ive gamed in alot of groups and most of them have felt this way, ask first if something is okay then say it. But I personally dont care, alot of things can be and should be offensive to me but i dont care about what i say to other people so i expect the same from then, now if someone wants to be politically correct thats fine but dont ask it of me.
My group all has various attitudes towards religion, politics, race, ethics, nationality and anything else you could have an opinion over and you know what? No one has ever gotten mad because they have said something the others didnt agree on.
I think the mature part is being able to say what you want and being able to hear others without getting all ticked off. Sure i may not agree with you and i think your wrong but thats ok, so long as you treat me the same.
Oryan77
Adventurer
Eh, adults are just as immature as kids, it just shows in different ways. Watch an episode of Cops and tell me adults are more mature than children 
Seriously, cops feel the need to babysit civilians and act as our parents (which really annoys me because that shouldn't be their job but they are forced to do that). They do that because people are too immature to deal with situations themselves and they need officers to hold their hand.
In all of the different jobs I've worked at, adults act petty and immature about things. Adults will talk about people behind their backs. Adults will throw tantrums when they don't get their way. We had a guy quit last week who, right before he left, deleted all of his files from his computer for revenge over his gripes with the company. Roadrage isn't a form of immaturity? I lost count of how many times I've seen the finger aimed at me or someone else, or heard nasty comments followed by a horn honking.
I chuckle every time I hear someone claim that adults are more mature than children. I used to think they were when I was a child. The only difference is that adults are able to hide their immaturity better than kids and pretend they are more mature. I've DM'ed for a 14 & 16 y/o who were more mature at the table than all of the adults with us. I think peoples excuse about gamer ages has more to do with relating with a person than it does maturity & age.
Seriously, cops feel the need to babysit civilians and act as our parents (which really annoys me because that shouldn't be their job but they are forced to do that). They do that because people are too immature to deal with situations themselves and they need officers to hold their hand.
In all of the different jobs I've worked at, adults act petty and immature about things. Adults will talk about people behind their backs. Adults will throw tantrums when they don't get their way. We had a guy quit last week who, right before he left, deleted all of his files from his computer for revenge over his gripes with the company. Roadrage isn't a form of immaturity? I lost count of how many times I've seen the finger aimed at me or someone else, or heard nasty comments followed by a horn honking.
I chuckle every time I hear someone claim that adults are more mature than children. I used to think they were when I was a child. The only difference is that adults are able to hide their immaturity better than kids and pretend they are more mature. I've DM'ed for a 14 & 16 y/o who were more mature at the table than all of the adults with us. I think peoples excuse about gamer ages has more to do with relating with a person than it does maturity & age.
Similar Threads
