I Love Gaming but I Hate Gamers!

[King_Stannis]

And there's the advice you need right there.

Don't accept any behaviour from gamers that you wouldn't accpet from anyone else. Our extended group of gamers (about 30-ish people all told) are cool people who I hang out with outside of gaming.

to quote EN World's own AlsiH2o..."If I don't want to have a beer with you, I don't want to game with you. Period."

And it's good advice. I know it's not a popular opinion around here, but in my experience, most gamers I've met at gaming functions (Conventions, Gaming Clubs etc) are Social Retards. I'm not tempted to invite them into my home as they smell bad, ogle my wife, can't shut up...I mean the list goes on and on.

So we grow our own gamers. Our weekly games are pretty much the defining social events of our peer group. If someone new is interested in playing and gets an ok from someone we know, they play a few games.

Sometimes one side or the other doesn't "click" for whatever reason and no problem.

Sometimes we get a new regular.

But honestly, if you don't appreciate racist jokes, and some guy in your game won't stop making them, well--it almost writes itself--don't game with that guy.

I'll echo all those thoughts. I don't think it's a mistake that I consider the people I game with also my best friends. I wouldn't stand for having some jackass come into my home once a week and smelling up the joint. Thankfully my beautiful and lovely wife also games with us. That only means that I would be extra vigilant as to who to invite. In addition to the "can I have a beer with this person?" test, I can also give the "would I want my wife to sit next to this assclown for 5 hours a week?" test.

I'd say it breaks down thusly:

60% gamers are hopelessly socially retarded. These are the ones that don't practice hygiene, laugh inappropriately, ogle nice looking women like they are from another planet, etc.

25% are a toned down version of the first category. They don't have all the prerequisites, but they most likely have one or two. They may or may not fit into your group depending on how much the attributes they do have get on your nerves.

10% are regular Janes and Joes, and would be an asset to any group.

5% are a credit to gamers everywhere and if you are fortunate enough to have one in your group, you should thank your lucky stars.

5% of gamers can "fake it" enough to where they might be acceptable under the right circumstances.

 

[Kheti sa-Menik]

After reading this thread, I am going to give everyone in my group a hug. Though, they may slug me for it....

I, it seems, have been extremely fortunate in my gaming experiences. In high school, I gamed with very few people, 1 or 2, and they were already friends so everything was fine.
Then, I took a break for five years in college.
When I started gaming again in 2000, the group that I reestablished my "table cred" with were long time gamers, even longer time friends, and I was concerned I would be so out of place.
Five years later, I'm still gaming with them. Each one has their quirks (who doesn't?) that annoy other members from time to time, myself included, but it's a stable and friendly group who are as happy to get together for bowling, food, target shooting, or movies as they are at the table.
I'm still somewhat the newbie....they all have jokes and experiences from adventuring in 1st Edition D&D and other long ago campaigns that I don't have a frame of reference to, so I still occasionally feel out of step. But it's nothing they do or don't do; in fact they make me feel included by telling the stories and explaining old jokes and we all laugh.
One of the members of this group I consider to be one of my two closest friends.
Unfortuneately, my schedule doesn't currently allow me to meet with these fine folks to game but soon, very soon.


The other group I actually game with now is a restructured group from another campaign. The former DM moved away, fracturing the group. When he first put it together, it was myself and a close friend, and the rest strangers. But we gelled and today, one of those "strangers" is a close friend and we have even found someone to fill the fourth chair who is a good guy.

The only iffy experiences I've had is at Cons. Playing in one shots at Cons has introduced me to some really unpleasant gamers. I don't know if they are like that in their normal lives, but I wouldn't welcome them to the table. But then again, I met the DM that started the above gaming group at a Con and we're good friends, though he now lives in a different city.

Anyway, based on what I've read here (cocaine and alcohol issues, immaturity, infighting, etc) I feel so lucky that my groups are as stable as they are.

Edit: I don't post that often so I never noticed that my avatar makes it seem as if I'm female.
I guess I should make it Crichton, instead of Aeryn.I have no idea why I added this note.
Caafeeine