I Love Gaming but I Hate Gamers!
- Thread starter Gruff
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StupidSmurf
First Post
Guess I'll chime in as well. Here are my observations, bulleted for the sake of clarity and the fact that coffee hasn't quite kicked in.
- Although age isn't a guarantee of maturity, the odds are better that someone who's older than, say, high school-college age, will be more mature. It's not always a given, but the odds are pretty good. My youngest kid is 12. He's soft-spoken, considerate, a real party supporter, and just an overall intelligent and nice kid. The only flaw I've seen him have is that when it's his turn at initiative, he ponders his PC's move in the same way he ponders the move of his next chesspiece. Behavior-wise, he acts better than some gamers twice his age.
- Someone, I forget who, once said that stereotypes exist because somewhere down the road there were consistent forms of behavior/characteristics observed in a particular group of people, and the image sticks. Naturally, pre-judging people is ignorant and wrong, and automatically assuming that just because someone is: (black, Christian, female, gay, or SF fan) they will automatically conform to that particular stereotype is unfair and very wrong. But I have indeed gamed with/dealt with a plethora of gamer stereotypes, ones that I'm sure many of you are familiar with. However, those people to me are the fringe, and they're the ones that I inevitably clash with (or vice versa). Look at Knights of the Dinner Table. You have stereotypes there in a major way. So, while it may be unfair to designate ALL gamers as a whole with a certain stereotype, there's some reasonable cause to consider certain gamer schools of thought as having a particular stereotype. Does this make sense?
I don't know if it would be opening a can of worms to wonder aloud about the various stereotypes that exist in gaming, and discussing them... 
- My RPGA experiences were limited to the group as it existed about 10 years ago. There were some really terrific people there, and some real butt-heads. Has this changed?
- Response to Gruff's original post: Someone said, again I forget who, "A joke that hurts ceases to be a joke." The response about you needing to get a sense of humor is one of the oldest dodges that people use when they're getting out of line.
- Although age isn't a guarantee of maturity, the odds are better that someone who's older than, say, high school-college age, will be more mature. It's not always a given, but the odds are pretty good. My youngest kid is 12. He's soft-spoken, considerate, a real party supporter, and just an overall intelligent and nice kid. The only flaw I've seen him have is that when it's his turn at initiative, he ponders his PC's move in the same way he ponders the move of his next chesspiece. Behavior-wise, he acts better than some gamers twice his age.
- Someone, I forget who, once said that stereotypes exist because somewhere down the road there were consistent forms of behavior/characteristics observed in a particular group of people, and the image sticks. Naturally, pre-judging people is ignorant and wrong, and automatically assuming that just because someone is: (black, Christian, female, gay, or SF fan) they will automatically conform to that particular stereotype is unfair and very wrong. But I have indeed gamed with/dealt with a plethora of gamer stereotypes, ones that I'm sure many of you are familiar with. However, those people to me are the fringe, and they're the ones that I inevitably clash with (or vice versa). Look at Knights of the Dinner Table. You have stereotypes there in a major way. So, while it may be unfair to designate ALL gamers as a whole with a certain stereotype, there's some reasonable cause to consider certain gamer schools of thought as having a particular stereotype. Does this make sense?
I don't know if it would be opening a can of worms to wonder aloud about the various stereotypes that exist in gaming, and discussing them... - My RPGA experiences were limited to the group as it existed about 10 years ago. There were some really terrific people there, and some real butt-heads. Has this changed?
- Response to Gruff's original post: Someone said, again I forget who, "A joke that hurts ceases to be a joke." The response about you needing to get a sense of humor is one of the oldest dodges that people use when they're getting out of line.
Aust Diamondew
First Post
I game with my friends, so I obviously like the people I game with. My biggest problem when I game is getting everybody to maintain focus on the game, which is usually easily handled.
I avoided the immature gamers in high school for the reasons you've said.
I avoided the immature gamers in high school for the reasons you've said.
frankthedm
First Post
I really don't know what to say. I only game with my friends who accept me the way I am. Of course my group come close to a horror story, with me being the worst of the bunch.
Try introducing your normal friends to D&D if the existing crop of social outcasts ain't working for you.
Try introducing your normal friends to D&D if the existing crop of social outcasts ain't working for you.
DungeonmasterCal
First Post
Although my group doesn't game very frequently anymore, I'm fortunate to have had the same core group of players for well over a decade now. There have been a few new people come and go, but we tend to be very clannish in our group. We know how to work together to play games in a style we all enjoy. We know each other's quirks and each other's boundaries. The last time we introduced a brand new member to the group we never asked him back after the first game. He rubbed EVERYONE the wrong way.
I think it was Diaglo who said, "Life's too short to play crappy RPG's". I include the players around the table in that. Set some ground rules. Do you play at your house? Flatly state that in your house, you won't allow certain behaviors. That's what I did, and we all get along.
I think it was Diaglo who said, "Life's too short to play crappy RPG's". I include the players around the table in that. Set some ground rules. Do you play at your house? Flatly state that in your house, you won't allow certain behaviors. That's what I did, and we all get along.
buzzard
First Post
On the RPGA front, I'd have to say people are hit and miss. I know a number of decent people from RPGA. I also know a bunch I'd just as soon not let into my house.
As for age vs. maturity, there is certainly some correlation. Though I have certainly games with some teens at cons that a very fine individuals and gamers. However I would not go out of my way to recruit any. I've gotten to where I only recruit gamers I know. I hang out at cons around here enough now that I know who I want to invite to a group.
Assuming your area has a gaming con schedule, I'd reccomend that as a way of scoping out the gaming community. Sure, plenty of gamers don't hit cons, but at least at the con you get to play with a variety of people with no strings attached.
buzzard
As for age vs. maturity, there is certainly some correlation. Though I have certainly games with some teens at cons that a very fine individuals and gamers. However I would not go out of my way to recruit any. I've gotten to where I only recruit gamers I know. I hang out at cons around here enough now that I know who I want to invite to a group.
Assuming your area has a gaming con schedule, I'd reccomend that as a way of scoping out the gaming community. Sure, plenty of gamers don't hit cons, but at least at the con you get to play with a variety of people with no strings attached.
buzzard
StupidSmurf said:
Probably not substantially, though one change from your previous experience is that you no longer need to pay a membership fee to be in the RPGA...so, the membership is probably "wider" now (whatever that means).
I concur with buzzard on the RPGA...I've met a lot of great players, and great people, while playing RPGA games. I've also met a fair number of duds, and a small number of people that I actively avoid playing with again. Part of the issue with the RPGA (particularly if you play it at conventions or game days) is that you may not have a lot of (if any) control over who you play with, and so it's probably more likely that you'll get some lousy players, compared to any kind of home game situation, where you'd likely have some level of "veto power" over players.
farscapesg1
First Post
I feel your pain. I've been looking for a good gaming group for some time now. I started with my current group when the DM had 4 or 5 other players (over a 2 years ago). Since that time the original group has left due to "real life issues" and has had to be replaced with new players. In March I will have to take a break myself (due to a new baby), and at this point I probably won't be going back 
I like the DM but the group has become unbearable. Between constant arguments, childish/rude/abnoxious jokes, and lack of actual gaming in exchange for chit-chatting about rules/video games/movies/etc. it just doesn't provide what I am looking for anymore.
If you have friends that would be interested in gaming, great. Me and my wife tend to be pretty "anti-social" for lack of better words. We just don't make friends very fast. When we moved to Texas, it took 2 years to make friends with a couple, the wife of which I work with. We're now friends with them and their friends. However, none of them are interested in the game (and in fact make jokes about the term "roleplaying" or for some reason comparing it to "playing with old naked fat men").
Other than that, my wife has a couple people she used to work with at her first job down here, which she gets together with for dinner once every couple months. We don't have the strong desire to have lots of friends. We enjoy each other's company to the point that we don't really need other people to invite over for dinner. Of course, that seems odd in today's age, a couple that has been married almost 10 years that is still infatuated enough with each other to not need other social interraction
So, if you don't have friends that would be interested in gaming, it may take some time to find a group. And of course, even after you do find a group, things could turn it upside-down and you will again be searching
I like the DM but the group has become unbearable. Between constant arguments, childish/rude/abnoxious jokes, and lack of actual gaming in exchange for chit-chatting about rules/video games/movies/etc. it just doesn't provide what I am looking for anymore. If you have friends that would be interested in gaming, great. Me and my wife tend to be pretty "anti-social" for lack of better words. We just don't make friends very fast. When we moved to Texas, it took 2 years to make friends with a couple, the wife of which I work with. We're now friends with them and their friends. However, none of them are interested in the game (and in fact make jokes about the term "roleplaying" or for some reason comparing it to "playing with old naked fat men").
Other than that, my wife has a couple people she used to work with at her first job down here, which she gets together with for dinner once every couple months. We don't have the strong desire to have lots of friends. We enjoy each other's company to the point that we don't really need other people to invite over for dinner. Of course, that seems odd in today's age, a couple that has been married almost 10 years that is still infatuated enough with each other to not need other social interraction
So, if you don't have friends that would be interested in gaming, it may take some time to find a group. And of course, even after you do find a group, things could turn it upside-down and you will again be searching
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