I love my friends but I want to kill one of them, Help me.

[Lord Zardoz]

So yeah, I'm 3/4s through my first year of college and have a stable group of friends. They're like a second family except I have one "friend" that I hate. Our relationship has detiorated from us being best friends to me hating him on a sub-atomic level. I don't want to tera the group apart but I can sit there and pretend to like him. I tried to pull an Angel and leave for their benefit but they're resisting. How can I still hang out with them and not have to deal with Captain up?

If you want to get this guy out of your life for a while, then just deal with it straight up and eat the fall out. Use as much or as little tact as you feel inclined, but trying to pretend the problem is not there simply will not work out well.

The Love Triangle situation you describe sounds way too much like something I might see in a commercial for an episode of Jerry Springer. Those people are generally regarded as crazy and idiotic. You may object to the comparison, but you must keep in mind that each person who turns up on such a show feels just as justified about their actions as you do. Your heading into a train wreck, so I advise just getting the hell out off the tracks.

END COMMUNICATION

 

[fett527]

...The Love Triangle situation you describe sounds way too much like something I might see in a commercial for an episode of Jerry Springer. Those people are generally regarded as crazy and idiotic. You may object to the comparison, but you must keep in mind that each person who turns up on such a show feels just as justified about their actions as you do. Your heading into a train wreck, so I advise just getting the hell out off the tracks.

END COMMUNICATION

This guy has nothin on Love Triangles. Trust me.

 

[Tewligan]

Am I doomed to be that guy that everyone's girlfriend loves but who is in danger of being decapitated by half the male population?

It's either that, or start acting like an adult and stop flirting with everyone without expecting repercussions.

Also, the phrase "all sensitive and flirty" makes me die a little inside.

 

[WhatGravitas]

...so I assumed the boyfriend would know it was just innocent flirting.

Sure, they may realize it. But that doesn't make them feel better - you're basically saying "Hi mate, I know that you two are in a relationship, but I still flirt with her, as if she were single, meaning I don't care for your relationship".

And you build up this kind of image. Won't help you.

But the worst thing is: You assume it's "innocent". Well, being friends is innocent. Flirting is never innocent, because the very definition of flirting means you're going beyond pure friendship, even if it's in jest.

And that's your crux. You're doing because it's fun, right? This already means you're not doing it out of pure friendship, but because you seek the fun/thrill/whatever, right? So you're already doing something beyond pure friendship, ignoring other people's relationships, for your own entertainment, right?

That doesn't sound innocent at all, to be honest.

I dearly suggest to cut that behaviour. If you want to be friends with girls, be friends with their boyfriends as well, and never even *think* about anything beyond friendship. Then ask yourself, if that's what you want. If yes, keep it up - but hence don't expect flirting or a relationship. If no, well, then you're already out for something else - and ask yourself, if you want to be that guy, who wants to have fun with other people's girls.

Cheers, LT.

 

[Chimera]

Either way you're doomed. On one hand, you flirt with other people's girlfriends, which could lead to an ass-whoopin'. On the other hand, you're every girl's friend, which will lead to many lonely nights.

Keep up the good work Cassanova.

QFT.

Sounds fun and harmless, but the end results have not been thought through very clearly.

Dunno how many times in my life I've run into people who do careless and destructive things, then when people get pissed at them, whine about how they're just trying to have fun. Sure, but when other people get hurt, it's not fun for them, and they don't want you around anymore. It's not rocket science.

 

[Teflon Billy]

Ugh, this is gonna sound really bad but I kind of had a thing for his girlfriend before they got together...

You are the bad guy in this story so far.

 

[Teflon Billy]

Its not just that guy. Captain F has a best friend who happens to hate me because I get along with his girlfriend. I've never made a move on this girl but he still doesn't like me because I'm all sensitive and flirty. Is it bad that I flirt with almost everyone?

Yes. You continue to be the bad guy in this story.

 

[Teflon Billy]

Warlord, you are close to being a pariah in your peer group.

A guy who is "All Sensitive and Flirty" who is "Trying to Get (my girlfriend) to end the relationship" because I am "bad for her"....?

Is going to get his face smashed in. :\

He can back-burner concerns about my friends and I hanging out with him. It really is a secondary concern at this point.

And man...I don't think I am much of an anomaly in the world.

 

[Nifft]

And man...I don't think I am much of an anomaly in the world.

You are a giant anomaly.

Most people couldn't admit or articulate that.

Cheers, -- N

PS: I agree with TB's analysis, for whatever it's worth.

 

[warlord]

You're right Billy, this is exactly why I stopped doing what I was doing and left them alone. I'm more inclined to move on instead of watching them crash and burn.