I m a girl get over it

[focallength]

I am a girl who looks as tho she would'nt know the first thing about gaming let alone the intricacies of playing the DnD and the world that goes along with it.
For a long time my boyfriend , who is a avid gamer and his mates had me labeled as a girl who should be seen and not heard on this subject and that I would be oblivious to the details and probably not the type to play or have as much enthusiasm as they clearly do.

I don't get this assumption at all:\ I think most guys feel that the nearest women get to being involved in a game is when we totter round wearing our aprons handing out mid encounter nibbles before disappearing into the background.

Is it just that we are the of the opposite sex or that you are afraid to let us into your world for fear we will see you at your most vulnerable and the concept of seeing you getting excited or even moved at slaying a dragon may make you lose any sexual credibility and make you less of a man.

There are some women and I am most certainly one of them who think that guys who are geeks are extremely hot!
Plus I feel that gaming is like any other hobby be it tennis or basketball. In fact I feel that it stimulates the mind and is a very healthy past time. I would much rather my man conjure spells and be doing something constructive and fun than a belching,scratching yob leering at a football game.
The point I am making is that I know from first hand experience with my boyfriend that gamers love what they do with a passion so why are you ashamed of it?
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I got sidetracked for a second there
My original reason for writing this drivel was that girls seemed to get a severe mocking when it comes to having an interest in Dnd.
I sit in my front room nearly every other day reading Ben's MM and pretty much every piece of literature he has on the subject. We have been together for a while now so it is not some failed attempt to impress him it is genuinely because I fine the whole subject fascinating.
I listen to him talk for hours on the phone about encounters he has had and his party members feats and I listen in awe.
What bugs me is why whenever girls talk about DnD or claim they know someting related to it we get laughed at!
Its like a no go area and having testosterone is your members only card.
My boyfriend recently posted a thread about gaming and girlfriends and my interest in it and someone wisely suggested that he should let me play at one of his games and get me actively participating.
As sweet (and naive) as this comment was, I would'nt dream of playing with a group of his friends as I would surely get laughed at, patronisingly patted on my head and may even get called "rookie" or asked to get make the drinks.

I bet there are so many girls on this earth who really want to play the game and be taken seriously. I bet there are girls on this site who probably know more about gaming than some men.
I admit that my appearance may be my down fall as I look like I would be more in tuned to the topic of cheerleading than talk of expeditions in Faerun.

There are not many girls I now who would want to pretend to be sun elfs and slay frost giants on a monday night but I am one of them ......so there

Will you marry me?

 

[IcyCool]

My boyfriend and his mates are a very nice bunch of people and It is not the caseof me wanting to play the game with them. I am very aware that many people on this forum and worldwide have an exceptance of women in RPG's. This post was for the people out there who happen to think that dnd is not for girls. You obviously feel that anyone can play and for that I salute you. This thread was not to slate the dnd world whilst burning my bra in protest. This was a stand to say that girls have just as much right to play as guys and for those who agree with me then state your opinion don't think Im an irate girl with a chip on my shoulder.

Well, I don't agree with your initial post/rant, but I do agree that girls have just as much right to play DnD as guys.

 

[Tom Cashel]

So I would suggest handling this the same way that "poker widows" have handled it for years: don't try to muscle in on his guy-time. That's his time to fart and drink and be a man, or at least it apparently his for his friends. Adding another gender to the mix that they feel they have to be gentlemen around (whether or not they really do) obviously makes them feel odd, and I'd be willing to bet your boy feels it, too, but doesn't want to be a jerk about it.

Once again, KM, you have crystallized my unbound thoughts into something tangible.

Speak it, brother!

 

[Sarajaine"The Solar"]

You aren't admitting anything, you are just bragging.

I believe my thread to be lighthearted and a general observation for the world I live in and the people that surround me. This may not be your world and you may feel very different about this subject than I do. I was merely expressing that women should get the same credit for enjoying the game as men...no more and no less. In regard to the comment about myself and my looks,bragging has nothing to do with it. In the world we live in everyone is fit into a steriotype whether we care to admit it or not. Most gamers have a distinctive quality about them and you can usually spot a gamer a mile off. I was only saying am not one of those people as I look like a typical girly girl and if anything I was taking the piss out of myself. This is a bit of fun and although everyone is intitled to there opinion,there is a line you cross when you become offensive.

 

[Sarajaine"The Solar"]

Okay...so you don't really want to play at all. You just want to raise a big stink over something you don't actually want to do anyway.

What was that Bob Dylan song? "Just Like A Woman"?

Because it boils down to principal. The attitude people have about girls shoul'nt play dnd makes people like me not want to really play at all. If they were open minded I would love too.

 

[Timeboxer]

And all the guys in all the games know how to treat a lady: exactly the same as you treat the guy sitting next to her. And I think that the majority of the guys here on EN World are just the same.

I must admit that this breaks down somewhat when people are willing to make sexual comments about the guy sitting next to me, which of course means that this applies to me, too.

 

[glass]

I would much rather my man conjure spells and be doing something constructive and fun than a belching, scratching yob leering at a football game.

Oh, I missed this bit the first time around.

As a season ticket holder at Coventry City Football Club, I watch (association) football about every other week. I even have a few drinks beforehand, and sometimes afterwards aswell. However, I don't belch or leer (especially not at a bunch of blokes at a football match) and I am not a yob.

And I don't get how 'scratching' is an insult (which I assume from the tone of the rest of the sentance it is presumably meant to be): everybody scratches if they have an itch, don't they?

And guess what: A large chunk of the crowd at Highfield Road each game are female themselves. Leering yobs? Don't think so.

My point is that you seem to be bothered about negative stereotypes. Why on earth would you use such a negative stereotype of males to justify your argument?

Quite.


glass.

 

[Sarajaine"The Solar"]

aka "a rant".

hehe its amusing to me that the guys say im ranting but the female gamers on this thread have the same opinion as me

 

[Vraille Darkfang]

I think you are fishing for attention here. Your argument in this rant is that as a girl you are treated unfairly. There's no need to mention your looks.



A valid point, although once again you refer to your looks.

Actually, she isn't mentioning her looks, but her appearence. Not so much, look at how HOT I am, but I don't LOOK like the idea of a gamer chick.

This could just mean she wears skirts, dresses, has a hello kitty purse, etc...

Sterotype city ahead:

There is (wrongly) a percieved impression what a "Gamer Chick" looks like. It not the most flattering picture (of course niether is the "Gamer Guy" sterotype. Watch X-Play, G4, E! or any show on TV when the actually cover Gen Con, Orgins, E-3. While they tend to cover it from a "Here is the Forgotten Realms, lets see what Video Games are coming out for it this year!" They also walk around with a mic & talk to people men & women. You'll notice that the women fall into 2 categories "Booth Babe" and "Gamer Chick" Booth Babe being some model paid to hang out in skimpy clothing for the day. Gamer Chick being well, a female version of the male sterotype.

In effect, girls who aren't bookish, eyeglass wearing types shouldn't be gamers.

It isn't a good sterotype (heck, it ain't even remotely close to reality), but it is there.

So just because she kkeps refereing to her appearence doesn't mean she expects Playboy to give her a call, it probablly refers more to her mannerisms, dress, & other elemements more associated with "Style" than with Physical Appearence. Comliness vs Charisma if you will.

 

[twofalls]

I'm going to quote myself here. I posted this in the G+G thread, but it seems more appropriate here. I run two games, each with females in them (one female in each). Both are excellent roleplayers and none of my other friends treat them any differently than they do each other. My wife has been the exception, but then she is rather exceptional. I let Katy play in a game once (and only once) and she fell asleep. That was the end of her playing in my games, but she does enjoy reading Knights of the Dinner Table and Dork Tower comic satire about gamers!

Well, my experience isn't hiding gaming from girlfriends, I've been married since I was nineteen and my wife knew I was a gamer the day we started dating at 16. In spite of that knowledge we’ve been married for 16 years and I couldn’t be more in love. But goodness do have a lot of funny stories to tell about her and gamers. You see I'm a rather lucky fellow in that Katy is gorgeous... by anyone's standard. She gets flirted with all the time, has been asked out more times than I can even begin to count, and even by men who already knows she's married (which just pisses her off to no end). I’m not Mr, Attractive so I guess these guys think that she is available because we don’t seem to match when you look at us casually.

I've run a lot of games over the years, and nearly always at my house as I have always had a game room of one kind or another. I've run the same group of fellows for just over eight years so they are all quite used to Katy being around now. She is very friendly and has a talent for making people feel comfortable, unfortunately some guys think this means that she has taken a shine to them, when in fact its just her lovely nature.

One fellah, a friend of a friend who was allowed to game with us once, when introduced to her turned red in the face and just stood there for an odd moment or two. Then he blurted out "Hi Pookie"! Katy looked at him like he was insane (which he might temporarily have been) and he wasn't invited back after that.

Another fellow kept telling me for days what excellent massages he gave after Katy was overheard by the group telling me that what she needed was a deep shoulder rub.

Another guy who I thought was a friend went so far as to proposition both of us for a threesome after a game meeting... he was disposed of immediately (the police never have found the body).

But many of the gamers that have come and gone over the years just become deathly quiet when she comes into the room to say hi to me or sits on my lap. It's like a friendly pretty girl is death to role playing. One guy had it so bad that he turned red as an apple every time Katy entered the room. I felt so bad that I asked her to not sit on my lap when he was about (she and I have always been physically affectionate but try not to embarrass other folk).

I'm very happy to say that all my current gamers are very comfortable around her and many of them even go camping with us with their own families at SCA events now. But the things I mentioned here are just the tip of the iceberg of the things that have happened over the years... oh boy!

Edit: Oh, the reason why this is relevent is because I have experienced the things that have been alluded to in this post. Lots of guys are uncomfortable with women in this game. Nor do I think that the orignal poster was "fishing for attention" by mentioning her looks. The more attractive the lady the more intense the discomfort seems to be.