I m a girl get over it

[Sarajaine"The Solar"]

Let him have his guy time. But since you think you'd LOVE the game, too, you don't need to compromise your own interest just because in his mind it's tied to his male-bonding moments.

Never on this thread have I suggested I wanted to play with his group. If I ever wanted to start a game it would be with a different group. He has played with the same group of people for years and he is a hell of a lot more advanced when it comes to the in's and out's of the game than I ever could be. I m a very independent person and always have been. Guys should have there own time and I wouldnt have it any other way. This thread seems to have strayed from the initial point I'm trying to address.
I'm really into dnd,i don't wish to impose on my partners game and I want the small majority of people in this world who play dnd and don't think that girls should play to grow up. Nothing more or less.

 

[Tom Cashel]

I don't look like a gamer chick and hate steriotype as much as the next person.

I'm sensing a little hypocrisy here. You can apparently "spot" a gamer chick, but you hate stereotypes.

I give up.

 

[dungeon blaster]

Actually, she isn't mentioning her looks, but her appearence. Not so much, look at how HOT I am, but I don't LOOK like the idea of a gamer chick.

This could just mean she wears skirts, dresses, has a hello kitty purse, etc...

I considered that, and I feel that may have been "part" of her argument, but honestly I think she was bragging. Of course, only she knows for sure, right? I could very well have been completely off in my observation, but it doesn't mean I won't make that observation if I think I am correct. For example, when she mentions she looks like a cheerleader-type...if she had said that she doesn't look like the stereotypical gamer girl I might not have thought of it as bragging. And yes, there is a point to be made about attractive girls and gaming - that the more attractive a girl is, the less people will associate her with gaming. I understand that.

 

[I'm A Banana]

I don't look like a gamer chick and hate steriotype as much as the next person. I just feel that you would'nt get the "she likes RPG's vibe from me" that was it!

.....I'VE GOT IT! Someone call Prada, quick, there's an entire market of fashionable young ladies out there looking for designer dice bags!


Back to what I think was your actual point (whaddaya want, I'm scatterbrained ) I've never been surprised, but I've surprised others. There's a little spark of glee that goes off in my head when one of the girls I've gamed with gets hit on by some typically rich suburban don juan and when asked to go out Saturday, she confesses that she can't because she's playing D&D. The guy laughs. "D&D? I used to beat up the kids who play that!"

The girl laughs, too. "Well I don't date people who used to beat up my friends. Ever. Bye bye now!"

Aaaah, there is this swelling of pride me me ol' soul. Some guy got rejected, all for the sake of plastic, pewter, and paper.

I guess since I've never really gamed much with the stereotypes. I'm a total rockstar, my first DM was one of the rich suburban don juans, and one of the players was the star running back for my HS football team. People who can't look past the stereotype piss me the frick off.

 

[Rel]

Sarajaine, I don't think that you are going to encounter a single person on this board who says, "Gaming is a hobby for men and women should not be allowed to participate." I'm not saying that there aren't some people out there who hold that opinion. But railing against it here is somewhere between "preaching to the choir" and "attacking a strawman".

In general you seem likable and articulate and I'm sure you'll be a welcome addition to the community. But where you are coming off in a somewhat poor light (to me anyway) is where you say, "I don't really wish to participate I just would appreciate the exceptance that I take an interest in their hobby and to be to be taken seriously for it." It smacks just a bit of the argument that you don't really want to be in the club but you demand the right to be in the club.

Perhaps if you're meeting some resistance then it is because these guys think that your indignation stems more from a sense of entitlement than a true interest in the hobby.

In any event, there is many a poster here at ENWorld who has lamented that his spouse or girlfriend has no interest in gaming or is outright hostile to it. Good on you for your attitude towards gaming.

 

[Tom Cashel]

Sarajaine, I don't think that you are going to encounter a single person on this board who says, "Gaming is a hobby for men and women should not be allowed to participate." I'm not saying that there aren't some people out there who hold that opinion. But railing against it here is somewhere between "preaching to the choir" and "attacking a strawman".

Indeed.

People who don't think girls should play D&D at all are stating a belief. (Did anyone actually say that in this thread?)

People who don't think girls should play in their specific D&D group are stating an opinion, probably based on prior experience.

The former is, in my opinion, quite wrong. The latter is an opinion, and as such, isn't wrong or right -- it's personal preference.

 

[twofalls]

Sarajaine, I don't think that you are going to encounter a single person on this board who says, "Gaming is a hobby for men and women should not be allowed to participate." I'm not saying that there aren't some people out there who hold that opinion. But railing against it here is somewhere between "preaching to the choir" and "attacking a strawman".

Gaming is NOT for wives who fall asleep during the climactic moment of the evening...!

"sniffle"

I'm taking my wounded pride to a different thread for a few moments...

 

[dungeon blaster]

Gaming, in and of itself, is not a turn-off. You're using it as an excuse for yourself, no offense.

I disagree. I know a lot of girls who find gaming a turn-off, and that has absolutely NOTHING to do with me or anyone else. Society has programmed them to think that way. I'm not going to try defending myself except to say that you don't know me.

If a girl knows you game, and you act like it's a big deal, something that will impact your sexual credibility, then it will. Not because of the gaming, but because you're acting like a twit.

I somewhat agree with you here. Yes, if you make it a problem, it becomes a problem. But sometimes even if you don't make it a problem, it's still a problem.

If a girl finds out you game, and you non-chalantly pass it off as something you enjoy, you'll have more sexual credibility for being comfortable with who you are. That's an incredible turn on for girls, yet so few guys pull it off.

Most everyone agrees that confidence is sexy. But that only works if the girl can get over the stereotypes of D&D.

The same applies with hanging out with the guys, but in a much less sexual way. If you do something that's not manly, and then you clam up when someone brings it up, you're gonna get ripped on. But if you do that same thing and calmly pass it off as just being another part of your personality, then that's that. I, for example, could have a good conversation about clothing or interior decorating. Great skills when conversing with women, not so great with the guys. I don't go around initiating those conversations with guys, but if someone tries to bust on me for something like that, it doesn't bother me. Be a bit self-deprecating, laugh along, and then move on.

Is this an argument or advice?

Some people just need to learn how to be more comfortable with who they are, whoever that might be.

I'd agree with that.

 

[S'mon]

All women who have joined gaming groups in which I have been a member have been treated in one of two ways: (a) indistinguishably from the guys or (b) with a kind of sick cloying deference.

Yeah, that's what I do. I try to do (a), but occasionally a bit of (b) creeps in. But usually (a).

 

[Sarajaine"The Solar"]

"I don't really wish to participate I just would appreciate the exceptance that I take an interest in their hobby and to be to be taken seriously for it." It smacks just a bit of the argument that you don't really want to be in the club but you demand the right to be in the club. Good on you for your attitude towards gaming.

This is the one of a few posts who actually gets what I'm talking about. Everyone on this thread feels that girls have a right to play and that is totally great however where I'm from I get more resistance to it thats all. I don't feel sorry for myself and demand respect form all corners of the earth so Im deciding to rant and rave about it. If people where I come from could except girls playing like you guys then great but they don't really. I think dnd is really awesome and given the option I would play but what prevents me from it is the attitude towards me playing that is the problem.I don't demand the right to play it just would be nice.