I need a new gaming group! :mad:

[shadow]

I've been with a small gaming group for several months. Recently, however, I have become fed up with some of the players and situations in the group.

Things started out pretty good. The original two other players (whom I shall just call X and Y) were serious players whom I enjoyed gaming with. Player X was sort of sarcastic and smart aleck, but since neither me nor player Y were ever very sarcastic, player X's smart aleck comments were kept to a minimum.

Things started getting bad when I moved in with a roommate (who was an avid gamer) and introduced him to my small gaming group. Now we had three players and a DM! However, soon I felt that the gaming group that I had put together was being usurped by my new roommate. Before, with only three players, we were able to joke together and have about equal "talk time"; after my roommate started gaming in the group I started feeling excluded from the game because, being a naturally talker with the gift of gab, my roommate started taking over the game.

Moreover, I began to realize that my roommate could be quite a smart-aleck/a**hole in the game. As a big fan of Quentin Tarantino and Frank Miller, he often played annoying/sadistic characters based on the gangsters from Pulp-Fiction and Sin-City (even in a fantasy game). Most troublesome of all, having somewhat of a natural sarcastic attitude, my roommate fit in really well with player X. Suddenly, between player X and my roommate, the game has become filled with smart-aleck quips. This really bothers me because I feel that I'm the butt end of all the jokes since I lack the natural quick wit and ability to come up with snappy comebacks.

I've talked with my roommate before, but I have always been met with hostility. When I talked to him about his distrurbing/annoying characters he told me he was offended that I actually thought that he would "mistake fantasy for reality" (as if that were the problem). When I talked to him about the sarcastic comments he told me not to get offended because he didn't mean any harm, he does the same to everybody, and he just enjoys "joking with friends" (although, since I lack the ability to make snappy comebacks I am the butt of them disproportionately).

Finally I lost my temper tonight while gaming. First of all a sarcastic comment was made about my religion (I'm Christian and one player made a sarcastic remark about the supposed lack of intelligence of Christians in general.) I told the player to avoid religious jokes. Then later in the game a sarcastic barb was made towards me. It hit a really sore spot for me (my stuttering, and lack of speaking ability.) At that point I stood up and told the group that I was prepared to leave if those sarcastic remarks continued. I think several of the players were really surprised...they didn't know how much their comments offended me; they thought they were just joking around.

I don't know what to do...I really don't enjoy gaming that much with the group anymore because of the above reasons. I don't really want to just abandon the group (afterall I got the group together initially), but I'm not having as much fun anymore. Moreover, one of the players is my current roommate (although I'm hoping to get a different roommate or a single room next semester). *sigh* Sorry about the rant...I just had to get it off my chest!

 

[jdrakeh]

It sounds like what you need is a new roommate. This guy (as you've described him) obviously cares little for you as a human being and, when you confronted him about it, he countered with a strawman rather than make an attempt to deal with the issue. I'd make your problem with this guy known to the other people in the game group - let them know that it isn't their behavior that's upsetting you, so much as it is his behavior.

This actually reminds me of a very similar situation that I was in circa 1995. I lived with a guy (John) who could be a cool guy, but more often than not, was a complete . He constantly degraded others with what he considered 'witty comments' and often did so in-game. It got on the nerves of several players, although I didn't know it at the time (at the time, I assumed that it was just me who found him to be grating).

Seriously - clue your other friends in to how you feel. And then tell them you'd prefer not to game with the roomie anymore. And while you're doing that - see about getting another roomie (and booting this one) or getting another place to live.

 

[Nightfall]

Better yet, move here to Morgantown, WV. I'll be happy to let you live in my parents garage.

 

[Balgus]

Tell your roommie "It ain't workin." And kik him out of your group. There's no need to punish the other two guys. I am sure they would understand

 

[The_Gunslinger658]

Hi-

Two things, your DM needs to get control of the group and you need to get a sense of humor.

Remember, there is no crying at Stalingrad!

Scott

 

[DonTadow]

Sounds like you should have a talk individually with each player and DM again. I'd tell that roomate that it doesnt matter about reality or fantasy, that you don't enjoy playing the game when you're constantly being ridiculed. If push comes to shove, just gracefully bow out, you'll be happy for it.

I know exactly what you are talking about as it happened to me a few years ago. I gamed with a group, and it became a weekly thing to make fun of my character. The players would play practical jokes on my character and the DM would allow otherp layers to steal my equipment without me saying anything because "it was funny". The DM would put bunnie tails on my character, make me sleep with kobolts, burned all my hair off and make me the butt of all jokes. It didn't help that as the only African-American in the group, I was often ridiculed that I wasn't "black" enough.

I talked to the guys, but the jokes kept rolling on my character so I slowly stopped coming as I had better things to do. Eventually I found another group

 

[Grimstaff]

Don't take this the wrong way, but it sounds like you need to toughen up a little. Am I totally wrong in assuming you are a little on the socially inept side? When people are friends or spend a lot of time together you can generally take it for granted that no one there is "out to get you" or "beat you down". Certainly their quips and jibes are all in good fun, more rough affection than anything else, and you might have a better time if you quit being so sensitive and joined in the fun.

 

[DonTadow]

Don't take this the wrong way, but it sounds like you need to toughen up a little. Am I totally wrong in assuming you are a little on the socially inept side? When people are friends or spend a lot of time together you can generally take it for granted that no one there is "out to get you" or "beat you down". Certainly their quips and jibes are all in good fun, more rough affection than anything else, and you might have a better time if you quit being so sensitive and joined in the fun.

This is the worst advice I've ever heard. I"m not sure of what kind of friends you have, but real friends don't make fun of others. There's a harmless jibe every now and then and then theres just flat out ridicule.

"toughen up". Someone's son is going to have some months of therapy

 

[Psychic Warrior]

This is the worst advice I've ever heard. I"m not sure of what kind of friends you have, but real friends don't make fun of others. There's a harmless jibe every now and then and then theres just flat out ridicule.

"toughen up". Someone's son is going to have some months of therapy

Huh. Here I was thinking that was probably the best advice that was going to come out of this thread. Truly we are entering the Age of the Wuss

 

[devilbat]

Taking potshots at one's religion or speech impediments is not cool nor funny. Take it from me, who is one of those sarcastic, quick witted individuals. Making a joke about a stain on a shirt or such is acceptable, but when it gets personal, it crosses the line.

You've talked to your roomate about it, and if he's reasonable, he'll put a stop to it. If it happens again, give him the boot.

Good luck.