D&D 5E I quit a game. Am I in the wrong? (spoiler, I don't believe so)

[Slit518]

I have been playing in this D&D 5e game for quite a while now.

It started with 4 of us, 2 dropped out for unknown reasons.

So, 2 of us have been playing since the beginning.

We had some NPCs to help us out, they were hirelings.

Some plot went down where he lost a large chunk of them so the party is basically myself and the other player.

One day I ask the DM if we can have two characters each since the circumstance of two players dropping out and losing our NPCs.

DM agrees, so we make a second character each for a total of four characters.

DM wants another player to join, the only problem is my schedule doesn't line up with their schedule.

We play every other week anyway.

DM wants to include new player into our world but doesn't know how to do it opposite weeks if I cannot play (why not just start a new game with the other player and that group?).

I have work starting that would interfere with games, I am not sure for how long.

I tell the DM he can use my second character to help the party if they need it while I am gone, and try not to get him killed.

DM agrees and tells me when I return I can get my character back (as if this should be an issue).

Work was only for 3 weeks so I missed 2 sessions (we play every other week).

I come back, we resume our regularly scheduled game, except one problem...

The party split off from my main character, in their last session, but don't worry, they will rejoin with me by the next time I play.

Next time they play, the split party doesn't join back up.

I ask about my character.

Ah, sorry, they went off to do something else.

Weeks go by of playing like this, alternating games.

My 2nd NPC is with group B who I don't play with, and group A is back to being two people again (one player plays in both groups, using 1 of his 2 characters in each group).

They apparently got sucked into the Astral Sea and that is why my character cannot return (a DM created scenario, I didn't do that).

More weeks go by, still my character is gone.

I ask and the answer is basically, "Well the party was doing this, and they went to do that" (so my character is beholden to this party now?).

This week was the last straw.

After their game he informs me my character has now had his brain sucked out by an Intellect Devour and is inhabited by that (another DM created scenario).

So instead, I tell him I quit.

He asks, "What, the one character?"

I said, "No, the whole game."

He then assumes it can only be one of two options, either 'I lost interest' or 'I am throwing a temper tantrum.'

When I told him it was neither and it was his bad DMing decisions which made the game unfun, he then got more irritated.

"Oh, but my hands were tied. I couldn't just give him back. It wasn't my fault you had other obligations that came up."

So I laundry listed all of the things he did wrong and how I reached out to him several times about it without any progress on the issue.

It basically came down to, "I'm spoiled and I want to get my way."

He then later private messaged me, saying that he believes I am not actually angry about this and I have something going on in my life that I apparently need to recover from."

Nah, bro, my day was literally chill. It was a fine day. You just came and told me some BS about a character that was mine that you held hostage for months so I decided not to play that game anymore.

Basically, he made a big deal about it but tried to pin it on me like I made a big deal.

So, with all of that information (and yes, we talked about it before, MANY times, so it wasn't a lack of communication) do you believe I am in the wrong?

 

[DammitVictor]

Do you want to play in this guy's next disaster campaign? Because if you don't, you have no reason to give a damn why he thinks you quit this one. People who make mistakes like this aren't capable of learning from them, because people who can learn from their mistakes don't make mistakes like this.

 

[Zardnaar]

You can quit a game for whatever reason (or none) you like.

So can the DM.

 

[Scribe]

So, with all of that information (and yes, we talked about it before, MANY times, so it wasn't a lack of communication) do you believe I am in the wrong?

Nope.

 

[Slit518]

Do you want to play in this guy's next disaster campaign? Because if you don't, you have no reason to give a damn why he thinks you quit this one. People who make mistakes like this aren't capable of learning from them, because people who can learn from their mistakes don't make mistakes like this.

Nah, I do not plan to join a future game of theirs if they have one.

I also just returned to some lengthy voice messages

Apparently we never talked about it, but then I brought up we did, so apparently he doesn't take hints.

I guess me asking about my character and mentioning I would like him back is a hint.

And in the same voice message I was called a child and told not to take offense by it.

This is more so just an update and to answer your question.

Apparently I handled the situation wrong and should have said, "I'm upset. This makes me upset. I want my character back now."

But, if I did that, wouldn't that make me spoiled (a reference to something he said before in my previous post)?

 

[Zardnaar]

Nah, I do not plan to join a future game of theirs if they have one.

I also just returned to some lengthy voice messages

Apparently we never talked about it, but then I brought up we did, so apparently he doesn't take hints.

I guess me asking about my character and mentioning I would like him back is a hint.

And in the same voice message I was called a child and told not to take offense by it.

This is more so just an update and to answer your question.

Apparently I handled the situation wrong and should have said, "I'm upset. This makes me upset. I want my character back now."

But, if I did that, wouldn't that make me spoiled (a reference to something he said before in my previous post)?

Welcome to reason number 1 games fall apart. Communication problems and personality clashes.

 

[iserith]

Given that D&D is based on childhood games of make believe, there's a practically infinite numbers of ways one could imagine how your character could be reintroduced to the current goings on in the campaign. Pick one that makes the most sense to everyone, given the context, and play on.

The DM just chose not to do that. Not a good sign in my view.

 

[Slit518]

Given that D&D is based on childhood games of make believe, there's a practically infinite numbers of ways one could imagine how your character could be reintroduced to the current goings on in the campaign. Pick one that makes the most sense to everyone, given the context.

The DM just chose not to do that.

Yup. When I pointed out that they should have taken accountability for their actions (the reason for me leaving), and told them all of the reasons using examples they created that were out of my control that they could have resolved seeing as they were the DM. But, instead, they chose to ignore that and gaslight me

Welcome to reason number 1 games dall apart. Communication problems and personality clashes.

I mean, we communicated. He just likes to conveniently forget, but will remember minor details from 10+ years ago that are unimportant to most things.

By the way, I care a bit, because of the one character I spent a bunch of time playing and having fun with. But it was time to leave that toxic game, especially with how they acted after I left and continually shifted blame at me and absolved themselves.

 

[Vaalingrade]

You can do anything in the world, infinite imagination, but you can't have a person show up where they need to be so the player can play them? Oh, but you can murder their character off screen and against their will without their knowledge or consent?

Yeah, drop it like it's hot.

 

[FitzTheRuke]

Yeah, I mean, I suppose that you could have done a better job of explaining that you wanted your character back sooner (and un-devoured) but... that should be obvious to anyone. It's kind of the whole point of playing.

So, while you didn't do everything 100% perfect, your DM totally failed you. This is on them.