SecondBestDnD posted a page over on Reddit which describes how spells like charm person, zone of truth, and abilities like sneak attack and spell slots would be written if they were done so how players actually use them.
This should make such an awe-inspiring monster swoop in that all of my foes better hope they were wearing brown pants. It's the same level as fireball; the real deal. They should all run away. What, there are no dragons in Waterdeep because of the Ward so they get advantage on their save? This is bull!
if a DM has players that are displaying behavior even close to this, they should feel free to boot them. I can attest that there are many many mature and wonderful players out there. If you can't find any locally, try Roll20 or Fantasy Grounds, etc
This is comedy gold, love the Sneak Attack the best. More please!
I do admit for the longest time I thought for reals that's how Charm Person worked, a lower level version of Dominate Person... That's because I only knew the spell from Baldur's Gate and other such games, where it actually worked like that, letting you control the creature.