I'm a bad DM

[Sidekick]

Well far be it for me to be a reasonable person but I’m also in this group of ‘Bad DMs’.

As a DM I make it clear that I want a regular, weekly commitment from my players. I make that clear from the get-go. We play Monday evenings. Now I don’t expect us to play on bank-holidays And everyone has holidays, but I expect people to turn up the rest of the time.

If someone’s sick, then sure, or there’s a death/10th wedding anniversary, or getting married/honeymoon – of course.

If someone’s GF wants to go see a film with them? Not good enough.

It’s a case of respect. I expect my players to respect that I as the DM have put in a minimum of 3-5 hours prep for that session, EVERY SESSION. If they can’t respect that then they’re out of the group simple.

I don’t consider that to be a hall-mark of a bad DM, far from it. They’re a good DM. A good DM puts the effort in and then, fair enough, should be able to figure that the group will turn up to play.

If there’s something better you’d rather be doing. Then go do it. That slot you’re hogging could be filled by someone who actually wants to play DnD.

As some others have said. I’ll still play the session with ¾ players. The PC who’s player isn’t there is NPC’ed. Any extended unexplained absesnces will likely result in me going ‘Fixxxer’ on their character – trolls and all!

But then again, none of these things have ever been an issue because my groups have either been all a) my close friends from high school or b) my current group have our own message boards where we coordinate sessions, who bring what food & we have a holidays thread so that the group as a whole know about everyone’s planned holidays.

So it’s never been a problem really.

 

[Sound of Azure]

There does have to be reason on both sides, one would say. As long as a good amount of notice is given, or there is a very good reason (such as a tragedy, or work) for being unable to attend, then it's all good in my book.

Seriously, though: Pretending to be a fantasy character... or spending time with my significant other at a good Jazz show (or indeed, a movie) . Gee, I dunno.

I don't take it as an insult if somebody has something else to do... so long as it's a reasonable and not on-going thing. Imagine throwing someone out for having a social life! Heaven forfend!

 

[Ghendar]

My girlfriend wants to go to a lousy movie with me to commemorate our 38th day together isn't good enough. .

I tend to agree with this most of the time, but you have to expect it. Getting between a guy and his girl can only result in real bad things happening.

I feel you pain about players who just blow off games for what I consider no reason. I've been there.

 

[Belen]

Hmm...I smell a WOTC article at the center of this one.

 

[ShinHakkaider]

Well far be it for me to be a reasonable person but I’m also in this group of ‘Bad DMs’.

As a DM I make it clear that I want a regular, weekly commitment from my players. I make that clear from the get-go. We play Monday evenings. Now I don’t expect us to play on bank-holidays And everyone has holidays, but I expect people to turn up the rest of the time.

If someone’s sick, then sure, or there’s a death/10th wedding anniversary, or getting married/honeymoon – of course.

If someone’s GF wants to go see a film with them? Not good enough.

It’s a case of respect. I expect my players to respect that I as the DM have put in a minimum of 3-5 hours prep for that session, EVERY SESSION. If they can’t respect that then they’re out of the group simple.

I don’t consider that to be a hall-mark of a bad DM, far from it. They’re a good DM. A good DM puts the effort in and then, fair enough, should be able to figure that the group will turn up to play.

If there’s something better you’d rather be doing. Then go do it. That slot you’re hogging could be filled by someone who actually wants to play DnD.

Exactly.

For me it's all about respecting someones time. If you can't show then tell someone in advance, dont just not show up. Heck I'm good if you call or e-mail afterward and say look I had to go do so-and-so I'm sorry that I couldnt make it.

What you as a player do outside of the game is none of my buisness, just let me know if youre going to show up. If you if you cant show up for a couple of sessions in a row then why are you even part of this game? I'd rather fill your slot with someone who will show up and be there to play.

Right now I'm considering running a game with just two consistent players and filling the rest of the slots with NPC's because alot of the players I've come into contact with are so fricking flaky.

 

[Umbran]

Not feeling like it but not formally dropping, NEVER good enough.

I disagree, rather strongly.

On occasion, a person may just not feel like gaming. For whatever reason, if they show up at the table, they aren't goign to have fun, and they're going to drag the whole session down. On such occasions, I'd prefer the player not show up and ruin a session. I'd prefer to be told they aren't coming, and I'd prefer it only be occasional. But in a social entertainment, we ought to make allowances for our fellow players to be human, and one bad day really oughtn't equate to dropping out of a whole campaign - as your "NEVER" seems to imply.

 

[JoeBlank]

I coach my sons' little league baseball team. How is the relevant? In more ways than one.

First: I used to coach with my Brother-in-law, who is a fantastic guy and knows more about baseball, and teaching it to kids, than anyone I know. He eats, sleeps and breaths it. And he is so good at getting kids interested and teaching them. However, he is a bit too fanatical about it. For a pee wee team (ages 7-8) he would hold practices 2 or 3 times per week during the season, while we were playing games twice per week.

Some kids love practicing and playing baseball 4-5 nights per week. My oldest son would do more if he could. But at that age, some kids are just there to have fun. They will never be much better, but if you can get them to throw, catch and hit then they are happy. Baseball is not their life, it is just a hobby. And many of their parents feel the same way. When they sign the kid up they make a commitment, but they don't expect to be spending every waking moment on baseball.

So now that I am coaching on my own I made up my mind to make room for the hobbyist players, the kids who just want to come out a couple times each week and play baseball. I expect them to participate and put forth the effort at practice and at games. I ask their parents to call or email if they can not be there. But I don't punish the kids with extra bench time for missing practice, or with how I treat them in any other way. This is a recreational league, not a competitive travel team.

Which brings me to the second way my coaching relates to the topic at hand. During baseball season I sometimes have to miss gaming sessions. It might be because we have a practice or a game that day. This is easier for me to control now, because I set the practice schedule. But I might miss a session because Sunday, our game day, may be the only day that week that I have to do other things with my family, including my wife, my youngest son (who is not playing baseball yet), as well as my parents, and my sisters (and their kids).

I'm lucky enough to have gaming friends who understand. I am courteous enough to let them know well in advance if I am unable to be at a session. They handle PCs of absent players in a manner that is fair but not too harsh. And they don't treat me any differently when I show up after having missed a session.

 

[Fishbone]

Its WOTC because I'm a huge attracter of flakes and droppers, as both runner and player, when it comes to D&D.
It could be any number of things. More players, the games aren't as scarce so a player can afford to blow a group off, etc. The topic was also brought up at a WOTC board. I said my piece, got no replies, and was slagged as a "bad DM" in a different thread.
It just seriously blows as a player to get burned by this time and time again and instead of seeing the dick player get reprimanded or talked to he gets bonus XP, your XP gets cut so he doesn't fall behind, or you have to split gear and treasure with him.
You spend hours making a campaign or lay down good money on a canned adventure(which usually need a little tweaking and fiddling with for level, balance, and flavor) and the player just doesn't even show up.
I'm not saying forsake all others and ditch your job for Rappan Athuk 1-3, I'm just saying be considerate. If you've got a job or other things that will be on that day, think before you commit yourself.

 

[Lanefan]

We set quorum at half the players, rounding up. So if 3 show up for a 5-player game, we sail, and those who aren't there just have to accept the fact their PC's will be run by others, and sometimes not run well.

If I only sailed when all hands were on deck we'd never leave port.

Lanefan

 

[fusangite]

We set quorum at half the players, rounding up. So if 3 show up for a 5-player game,

My policy too! I find it works very well. Of course I deal with non-present PCs by placing their characters just off frame in the comic -- fighting bad guys but different bad guys, looking after the horses or talking to the serving wenches at the feast.