If you have heard of or played insecta, or have any other reviews like mine, please post. Now, let us start. You will learn much about the Jesus of miniatures games (aka Insecta), young grasshopper.
Ok... here is the greatest story of all time. After my friends and I finished off some ice cream, we headed up to a local comics place and looked through the 1.00 game section. And there, low and behold, was the best book of rules ever, under the name of Insecta second edition.
The cover looked like some trippy, psychedelic pic of a group of warring insects, and the whole game consisted of a bag with over 900,000 paperclips, nearly as many sheets of unperforated counters, and some random bug miniatures thrown in, courtesy of several vending machines picked with care across the United States. Anxiously, I brought the zip locked bag that held the game together up to the man behind the counter. And then, I made the greatest decision of my life. I handed that man a dollar. And seven cents for tax.
I could hardly contain myself on the ride home, and upon reaching my house I feverishly cut out the four hundred billion counters and bound them with all together with the convieniently included paper clips. Then, I plowed through 17 chapters of educational wargame rules, learning that Insecta did NOT limit itself to insect parts, be cause that would be to unoriginal. They too included crustacean claws and abdomens. When I realized this, I asked God if Jesus had written Insecta, and God said "Yes my son, and it is good. Embrace Insecta, lead my primo insecta miniatures to the promised land." The next day, it was go time.
Bow! wham! pow! After just thirteen hours of backtracking, my eager opponent and I had assembled half the mutant bugs we needed to play! Not to be deterred, we took the rules as 'suggestions' and just played with what we had.
After that, everything was a blur. I guess my "unremarkable ant mutant with a set of wings and a pheromone projector for an ass" flew a few spaces over to my friend's "dragonfly fiendish scorpion armed with AK-47's." I landed with my ass facing the killer insect, and let loose some pheromones onto his face, which seemed to have no effect. Then, my limbs were poisoned and consumed. In an act of mercy, my friend had his killer bug eat my ant's head.
We were pretty sure we were playing wrong and realized that 99% of the enclosed materials (which included words like "Sex" and "Propaganda" on little green counters, which we were, I kid you not, instructed to cut out and fold up into a tent shape) were ignored and not used. Still, I had tremendous fun. I mean, who wouldn't when you've got a couple months to pass and you want to be the first bug to stop the other from "walking, hovering, or whatever"?
INFLUENCE ON MODERN SOCIETY
Insecta has spawned four expansion packs, which add everything from "underwater combat rules" to "catastrophe cards" to the game. Fat Messiah games, known to players as the affectionate "FMG" or the "Father of my Baby" have announced that second edition is sold out! Over two copies have been reportedly produced worldwide, and the website promises a third edition. We can only assume that it will be using the d20 system engine. F'in Aye. F'in Aye.
CONCLUSION
Insecta rules. Only cool kids play it. If you are in fact cool, you play insecta.
Insecta is the most popular game ever, as I have evidence that AT LEAST 5 people besides my friend and I have played it, as disclosed in the picture below. Even the critics love it, as one raved about the out-of-print first edition and the other critic even playtested the game, and was not at all biased or anything. If you have anything in that oversized head of yours, you will eagerly await "3e" and hope that you aren't stomped to death when the "big release" of "nearly three copies" debuts in the basement of Fat Messiah Games, AKA Jim's Basement.
Evaluation
6/5
-Awakened
![:]](http://www.enworld.org/forum/images/smilies/devious.png "Devious :]")
Ok... here is the greatest story of all time. After my friends and I finished off some ice cream, we headed up to a local comics place and looked through the 1.00 game section. And there, low and behold, was the best book of rules ever, under the name of Insecta second edition.
The cover looked like some trippy, psychedelic pic of a group of warring insects, and the whole game consisted of a bag with over 900,000 paperclips, nearly as many sheets of unperforated counters, and some random bug miniatures thrown in, courtesy of several vending machines picked with care across the United States. Anxiously, I brought the zip locked bag that held the game together up to the man behind the counter. And then, I made the greatest decision of my life. I handed that man a dollar. And seven cents for tax.
I could hardly contain myself on the ride home, and upon reaching my house I feverishly cut out the four hundred billion counters and bound them with all together with the convieniently included paper clips. Then, I plowed through 17 chapters of educational wargame rules, learning that Insecta did NOT limit itself to insect parts, be cause that would be to unoriginal. They too included crustacean claws and abdomens. When I realized this, I asked God if Jesus had written Insecta, and God said "Yes my son, and it is good. Embrace Insecta, lead my primo insecta miniatures to the promised land." The next day, it was go time.
Bow! wham! pow! After just thirteen hours of backtracking, my eager opponent and I had assembled half the mutant bugs we needed to play! Not to be deterred, we took the rules as 'suggestions' and just played with what we had.
After that, everything was a blur. I guess my "unremarkable ant mutant with a set of wings and a pheromone projector for an ass" flew a few spaces over to my friend's "dragonfly fiendish scorpion armed with AK-47's." I landed with my ass facing the killer insect, and let loose some pheromones onto his face, which seemed to have no effect. Then, my limbs were poisoned and consumed. In an act of mercy, my friend had his killer bug eat my ant's head.
We were pretty sure we were playing wrong and realized that 99% of the enclosed materials (which included words like "Sex" and "Propaganda" on little green counters, which we were, I kid you not, instructed to cut out and fold up into a tent shape) were ignored and not used. Still, I had tremendous fun. I mean, who wouldn't when you've got a couple months to pass and you want to be the first bug to stop the other from "walking, hovering, or whatever"?
INFLUENCE ON MODERN SOCIETY
Insecta has spawned four expansion packs, which add everything from "underwater combat rules" to "catastrophe cards" to the game. Fat Messiah games, known to players as the affectionate "FMG" or the "Father of my Baby" have announced that second edition is sold out! Over two copies have been reportedly produced worldwide, and the website promises a third edition. We can only assume that it will be using the d20 system engine. F'in Aye. F'in Aye.
CONCLUSION
Insecta rules. Only cool kids play it. If you are in fact cool, you play insecta.
Insecta is the most popular game ever, as I have evidence that AT LEAST 5 people besides my friend and I have played it, as disclosed in the picture below. Even the critics love it, as one raved about the out-of-print first edition and the other critic even playtested the game, and was not at all biased or anything. If you have anything in that oversized head of yours, you will eagerly await "3e" and hope that you aren't stomped to death when the "big release" of "nearly three copies" debuts in the basement of Fat Messiah Games, AKA Jim's Basement.
Evaluation
6/5
-Awakened
