ElectricDragon
Explorer
Either time is okay with me too. I'll check in at both times (if necessary).
Ciao,
Dave
Edit: Ooo! Page 13, my lucky number.
Ciao,
Dave
Edit: Ooo! Page 13, my lucky number.
Iron DM 2009 - FINAL MATCH - it's over!
- Thread starter Nifft
- Start date
humble minion
Legend
Really like the set of ingredients for round 7. Very nice.
Regarding mine...
[sblock]
I really hope the judgement goes up soon, because every time I look at my entry I get more dissatisfied!
I probably should have tried to find some more time for editing. I dunno if I could have cut the size down all that much, but there's a few bits and pieces that have minor logical holes as written and I could close them up with a sentence or two. Plus it's more than a bit disorganised in places - the stuff about Girael targeting Merbenna should have been in the description of the performance, for instance, and there were a few other structural issues like this. And a few less parentheses would probably be a worthy goal to aim at as well...
Critical hits is by far my weakest ingredient - Thasmodious did much more with it than me, but I hamstrung myself by using a largely non-combat plot when one of the ingredients was inherently combat-related. We both made the elf-tree-fruit connection. Both of our mayors could have been more mayoral - here's one place i'd like to go back and add another sentence or two. I really like Thas's stellar pathway (particularly in light of the nature of the 4e Far Realm), but I reckon mine was ok. I may be biased, but I preferred my puppet though!
Could go either way I think. Thasmodious's scope and nicely done Far-Realm-corrupted-lost-city vibe vs my attempt at a smaller, immersive plot with memorable NPCs and the best Rat Bastardliness I could come up in the make-a-divination-proof-mystery stakes.
Win or lose, I'm not going to do a mystery-type submission like this if I can avoid it in future (whether it be next round or next competition). Having to detail all the little clues etc in useful detail really bloated the word count ridiculously, and I'd expect to lose based on that alone if Thas hadn't come up with something almost as long.
[/sblock]
Regarding mine...
[sblock]
I really hope the judgement goes up soon, because every time I look at my entry I get more dissatisfied!
I probably should have tried to find some more time for editing. I dunno if I could have cut the size down all that much, but there's a few bits and pieces that have minor logical holes as written and I could close them up with a sentence or two. Plus it's more than a bit disorganised in places - the stuff about Girael targeting Merbenna should have been in the description of the performance, for instance, and there were a few other structural issues like this. And a few less parentheses would probably be a worthy goal to aim at as well...
Critical hits is by far my weakest ingredient - Thasmodious did much more with it than me, but I hamstrung myself by using a largely non-combat plot when one of the ingredients was inherently combat-related. We both made the elf-tree-fruit connection. Both of our mayors could have been more mayoral - here's one place i'd like to go back and add another sentence or two. I really like Thas's stellar pathway (particularly in light of the nature of the 4e Far Realm), but I reckon mine was ok. I may be biased, but I preferred my puppet though!
Could go either way I think. Thasmodious's scope and nicely done Far-Realm-corrupted-lost-city vibe vs my attempt at a smaller, immersive plot with memorable NPCs and the best Rat Bastardliness I could come up in the make-a-divination-proof-mystery stakes.
Win or lose, I'm not going to do a mystery-type submission like this if I can avoid it in future (whether it be next round or next competition). Having to detail all the little clues etc in useful detail really bloated the word count ridiculously, and I'd expect to lose based on that alone if Thas hadn't come up with something almost as long.
[/sblock]
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Wulf Ratbane
Adventurer
Quick FYI for the judges-- I am travelling today, and I might not have internet access until probably the start of next week.
Nifft
Penguin Herder
CleverNickName
Limit Break Dancing (He/They)
Nifft's judgement is up, and Thasmodius prevails.[SBLOCK=But...]...I liked humble minion's entry best. I agree on Nifft's assessment of the use of ingredients, but I thought that humble minion had a stronger plot. And I always appreciate a strong plot in any adventure.
I'm probably just speaking from my own personal preferences, though. I like to tell a story; I like having heroes and villains, conflicts and resolutions. I like things to happen for a reason. HM's entry has some plot issues, but it comes closest to this.
That's not to say that there is anything wrong with Thasmodius's entry. It is a solid adventure and it earned its victory. I guess I'm just not used to an open-ended style of game.[/SBLOCK]
Thanks for the hard work, guys. One more match, and we head into the Semi-Finals!
I'm probably just speaking from my own personal preferences, though. I like to tell a story; I like having heroes and villains, conflicts and resolutions. I like things to happen for a reason. HM's entry has some plot issues, but it comes closest to this.
That's not to say that there is anything wrong with Thasmodius's entry. It is a solid adventure and it earned its victory. I guess I'm just not used to an open-ended style of game.[/SBLOCK]
Thanks for the hard work, guys. One more match, and we head into the Semi-Finals!
Nifft
Penguin Herder
CleverNickName: I agree with you, especially about the strength of the plot. But here's the thing: the PCs need to be in the plot, it can't just be something that happens around them. I think humble minion had a better plot -- and IMHO it made for a great read! -- but it happened in spite of the PCs, and worse, it happened at the expense of the ingredients.
The ingredients are king. Downplay them and you will not win.
Similarly, the PCs are the stars. If they don't matter to the plot, it's not a plot I can use.
There are excellent parts of humble minion's entry that I do plan on stealing, but I will have to work to adapt them. If the big vampire were important to the PCs, or the fruit were important and its supply being threatened was important ... or something. As plots go, it's a great story -- but not a great adventure.
IMHO, awesome mysteries should make PCs go "OH CRAP!" and change their plans upon revelation.
Anyway, that's my thoughts on the subject. I think both entries had many strengths -- particularly the cleverness of humble minion's interpretation -- but in the end, the one that best used the ingredients won.
Cheers, -- N
The ingredients are king. Downplay them and you will not win.
Similarly, the PCs are the stars. If they don't matter to the plot, it's not a plot I can use.
There are excellent parts of humble minion's entry that I do plan on stealing, but I will have to work to adapt them. If the big vampire were important to the PCs, or the fruit were important and its supply being threatened was important ... or something. As plots go, it's a great story -- but not a great adventure.
IMHO, awesome mysteries should make PCs go "OH CRAP!" and change their plans upon revelation.
Anyway, that's my thoughts on the subject. I think both entries had many strengths -- particularly the cleverness of humble minion's interpretation -- but in the end, the one that best used the ingredients won.
Cheers, -- N
CleverNickName
Limit Break Dancing (He/They)
**frantically taking notes, mumbling to himself**
humble minion
Legend
[sblock]
Can't really argue with the judgement myself. I mentioned above that Critical Hits was always my weakest ingredient, though i would contend that the 'critics' I referred to were the members of the public who were demanding the bards let Kerreth perform at the Grand Theatre. But I should have made that clearer, but it still doesn't make it a particularly strong ingredient use. Same with the Mace of Blood - it's an undeniably evil weapon, and the fact that Laughingstream wields it was meant to make the PCs more inclined to be suspicious of him. But again, I didn't make that clear in the entry (it all made sense in my head!), and the ingredient is used as a clue rather than a core element of the adventure.
I'm a bit confused by the judgement on the Stellar Pathway - I think Nifft and I might have gotten our wires crossed. The Twilight Tree only exists between dusk and dawn (pretty sure I mentioned that twice...), so it's always going to be night there. Otherwise Girael wouldn't have been able to maintain his facade of non-vampireness for so long, if nothing else!
The linearity and player disinvolvement are very legitimate criticisms though (to a point - nothing stops a PC bard who wants to perform at the Theatre!), during the early stages of the adventure in particular, before the theatre fire. I was a bit concerned about that at the time, but figured that while PCs are INVOLVED in the adventure at this stage, they're not DRIVING it, so there wasn't a lot I could think of to do.
[/sblock]
Good win to Thasmodious, who in the final analysis used the ingredients better than I did, which is the whole point of Iron DM! I'll be back, better and more iron-y, next time...
Can't really argue with the judgement myself. I mentioned above that Critical Hits was always my weakest ingredient, though i would contend that the 'critics' I referred to were the members of the public who were demanding the bards let Kerreth perform at the Grand Theatre. But I should have made that clearer, but it still doesn't make it a particularly strong ingredient use. Same with the Mace of Blood - it's an undeniably evil weapon, and the fact that Laughingstream wields it was meant to make the PCs more inclined to be suspicious of him. But again, I didn't make that clear in the entry (it all made sense in my head!), and the ingredient is used as a clue rather than a core element of the adventure.
I'm a bit confused by the judgement on the Stellar Pathway - I think Nifft and I might have gotten our wires crossed. The Twilight Tree only exists between dusk and dawn (pretty sure I mentioned that twice...), so it's always going to be night there. Otherwise Girael wouldn't have been able to maintain his facade of non-vampireness for so long, if nothing else!
The linearity and player disinvolvement are very legitimate criticisms though (to a point - nothing stops a PC bard who wants to perform at the Theatre!), during the early stages of the adventure in particular, before the theatre fire. I was a bit concerned about that at the time, but figured that while PCs are INVOLVED in the adventure at this stage, they're not DRIVING it, so there wasn't a lot I could think of to do.
[/sblock]
Good win to Thasmodious, who in the final analysis used the ingredients better than I did, which is the whole point of Iron DM! I'll be back, better and more iron-y, next time...
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phoamslinger
Explorer
ok, ElectricDragon and Iron Sky,
I will put them up tomorrow (Thursday) at noon. I'm just on for a couple of minutes right now and won't have access again till late tonight. but noon tomorrow will work fine.
-ph
I will put them up tomorrow (Thursday) at noon. I'm just on for a couple of minutes right now and won't have access again till late tonight. but noon tomorrow will work fine.
-ph
ElectricDragon
Explorer
Fine, noon tomorrow then. I still have one nail to bite til then...
Ciao,
Dave
Ciao,
Dave
