Iron DM "Home Game" Revival

[Mirth]

Cool. Congrats Waylander!

 

[Waylander the Slayer]

Thank you

As always i would like to thank the academy...lol. I think that anyone who enters this competition in creativity is an automatic winner. It has definitely improved my creativity.
I am working on the Pipe and Dryad scenario - this is going to be tougher since I hate those pansy Driads and all that floofy stuff like pudding and mushrooms. Hmm maybe if they were sm...muhahaha

 

[mmadsen]

Re: Thank you

I think that anyone who enters this competition in creativity is an automatic winner. It has definitely improved my creativity.

Normally I hate feel-good "everyone's a winner" proclamations, but I strongly agree with this one. Simply going through the process of combining those six ingredients -- and following through to a finished product! -- is a great learning experience.

And all the entries so far have been pretty good, whatever their small flaws. Isn't it amazing what you can come up with in a day (or two) from a list of odd-ball ingredients?

I am working on the Pipe and Dryad scenario - this is going to be tougher since I hate those pansy Driads and all that floofy stuff like pudding and mushrooms.

I'm looking forward to it, Waylander.

 

[seasong]

Exposition!

Good use of the ingredients. I have to say, the Druid Dryad is now officially trite.

And yet, soooo compelling . I agree. I didn't mention it (and should have), but this scenario was aimed directly at cliches, each twisted in some way.

The cliche druid dryad was mobile; her cliche ranger love was a dove; the cliche stupid giants were stupid in a good way; etc. I thought I did a pretty good job, but my strengths probably lie with more serious scenarios .

I do like the mobile dryad concept. Seasong does get points for carving the pipes from stone, rather than wood, which is the obvious ingredient material choice.

Thank you. There's only four real ingredients you can "hand carve": wood, bone, stone and ice. And of those, most people will think of wood when combined with "pipe". Now, if you'd said "sculpted", there'd be more leeway .

An idea that I rejected was to have the setting be a glacier river canyon instead, and have the pipes be carved of ice, incidentally. However, it didn't fit as well with my planned conflict of interest or my use of stereotypes.

So what’s missing? I think this adventure has the potential to become silly, which, if not desired, will detract form the story quite a bit.

This ties into my comments on stereotypes. In my head, it was actually playing out like an episode of Xena - I wanted the players to get hit with three hooks . Hence their interlocking nature.

Also, we have some suspension of disbelief issues – the Dryad Druid is a bit too single minded, and the Fire Giants a bit too accommodating/stupid for my taste. Most of seasongs NPCs are typically less one dimensional, and so I found myself wanting an ‘all is not what is seems’ plot twist.

Well, as I mentioned, I was targetting stereotypes. But... I should have included twists. I really should have included a "how to make this scenario more serious" twist. Darn it!

We only have a one ingredients used badly. Yes, you guessed it – a conflict of interest. I am not going to post the definition again, but I have to say implied conflicts of interests simply do not end up cutting it.

Agreed. This would have been far more appropriate if I'd simply put in a sentence saying that the druids had sent Murielle to check out the situation. It was implied by her sending reports to them, but I didn't come out and say that her job was to maintain balance. The best end situation from her job's point of view, would have been to indoctrinate the fire giants. Murielle's personal desires ran exactly counter to that, and is a textbook case of conflict of interest.

But, as I said, I should have mentioned that it was her job, and that the druids were expecting her to resolve it to their satisfaction.

 

[seasong]

Hey mmadsen, if you're up to it, I'd like your critique as well .

Also, as usual, I will gleefully rip apart... er.. gently critique anything anyone wants to post.

 

[incognito]

errr...ahhh...seasong

you can carve soap, can't you?

the scenario I crafted (you'll never see it, muahahaha!) uses hand carved soap. The pipes blow bubbles...and something more insidious. It is a tale of childish horror. A tale about the love a father has for his daughter, and how even most simple gestures of love can run afoul of the taint of EVIL

stoopid Dryands - if was SUPPOSED to be nyphs - and I was going to use the 'pipe' as a phallic symbol!

ahhh well

 

[seasong]

Actually, I mispoke: technically, you can carve anything... soap, wax, paper mache, meat...

But those things are hell to carve, tend to deform or collapse in the process of carving, etc. Soap, in particular, is more pushed into shape than carved into shape. That's why, for example, I did not include ceramics, earth sculpture, or the fine art of hedge trimming.

Although a hedge pipe (in the "irrigation pipe" sense) might be cool for a story.

But I'm being ornery, I'll stop.

 

[mmadsen]

Hey mmadsen, if you're up to it, I'd like your critique as well.

Here we go then! (For the most part, I agree with incognito's critique.)

Summary: Murielle hates fire giants, and plans to kill a tribe that just moved into some prime river real estate. The fire giants just want to be friends, and have prepared a lovely gift for to appease Murielle. The PCs get to either somehow make all of this work, or choose sides.

It's such a simple thing, but I really appreciate the one-paragraph summary at the beginning.

Along the canyons, there is a particular set of caves which penetrate deep into the canyon walls. The outermost cave is about 18 inches in height, a few feet wide, and less than a foot from the ground where it is hidden by an overhanging lip of stone. But that tiny entrance extends nearly a dozen feet into the wall before opening up into a small series of beautiful, living caverns....But most importantly, a year ago, Murielle moved in.

Maybe I'm missing something, but how did a huge (pardon, Huge) oak-tree/Treant and a Dryad move into a cave with an 18" entrance?

She has set her tree up in the lake cavern where it would be reasonably safe from the fire giants. The cavern has been hallowed by Murielle, with the spell effect daylight filling the entire area. Murielle's tree is currently rooted into a small limestone bed in the middle of the lake.

Nice visual.

Cleave is a dove Awakened by her magics several years ago, and has remained her constant companion since, and is now an 8th level dove ranger (45 hp, feats are alertness, dodge, mobility, skills are heavily focused on tracking, stealth and spying).

A dove with eight levels of Ranger -- and the 45 Hit Points that go along with those Ranger levels? It seems a bit too "killer rabbit" to take seriously.

A few years ago, Hrosh (the tribe's primary adept) got a bit hungry and ate a handful of mushrooms that happened to be within armshot. The visions only lasted for a few minutes, but seemed to last longer, and Hrosh took them far more seriously than perhaps they merited.

Again, a bit silly.

Murielle started the hostilities by simply attempting to get the fire giants to move, by making the region hostile to them. Entangling plants, small rockslides, flooding their fires... Hrosh has declared this a time of testing, and the tribe has hunkered down, thanked Nature for her faith in their abilities, hiked downstream to regather soaked wood, and otherwise not budged.

Although this too could be played for comic effect, I didn't find it outrageously silly. I like it.

This morning, he got it. As Murielle prepares for war, the fire giants are spending the day carving a massive set of pipes from the cliff side.

I like the image of the giants carving massive pipes from the stone cliffs, but are we supposed to accept that they find this an appropriate gift for a petite Dryad? Is this supposed to be comical?

Hook #1: The PCs are wandering through this patch of the wilderness, and stumble across the fire giants....

The PCs meet the Fire Giants -- who are friendly -- are asked how they like the 100-lb stone pipes, and are asked to escort the Fire Giants as they deliver the pipes through the dangerous woods to the "mushroom spirit". Unusual. I'm not sure how compelling (to the PCs) such a request is, but it's interesting.

Hook #2: The PCs are wandering through this patch of the wilderness, and stumble across Murielle....and she asks for their help in getting rid of the fire giant problem.

That seems a bit more straightforward -- a bit more "D&D".

... except that Hrosh, convinced that the PCs are the key (or possibly having spied them with the dryad from a distance), will approach them (from a safe distance) and beg (with tears, if needed) them to help his tribe give their gift to the dryad.

Interesting twist.

Hook #3: The druids have become concerned about some reports coming from Murielle in the field, recently, and suspect that she may be omitting or ignoring aspects of the balance. Primarily, her seething hatred of the fire giants has shown through in her writing, a solid indication that she may be losing her balanced vision. They hire the PCs to investigate the situation, cautioning them not to act until they have determined (a) why Murielle wants troops to kill off an entire tribe of otherwise peaceful fire giants, and (b) why the fire giants are in this particular area.

I'm not sure this would lead to an interesting adventure. Is there any good answer to why Murielle has lost her balanced vision?

Hook #4: By default, Cleave is complicit with Murielle. He practically worships her feet, and is willing to kill whatever she wants killed. In this hook, however, he has overheard what the fire giants want, and is afraid she'll do something she'll regret for years later. So Cleave approaches the PCs, and simply asks them to talk to the fire giants, and then help him restrain Murielle from killing them all.

I like the idea of the dove pleading for a peaceful resolution. I'm not sure how to play out an interesting series of encounters from that idea though.

Hook #5: The party stumbles across the war in progress. On the one hand is a lone dryad calling all of nature down on the heads of fire giants. On the other hand are ten or so fire giants, cowering and kissing the ground and making absurd lamentations for a merciful nature goddess.

I like the image, but, as incognito pointed out, wouldn't most parties just pop up the popcorn and watch what happens?

Regardless of how the PCs get involved, the obvious "win" is to negotiate a truce between Murielle and the fire giants.

How do we make this interesting?

Killing the fire giants off isn't a perfect solution, but it will earn Murielle's gratitude. If you want to point out what was really going on, Hrosh may keep a simple diary, or you could have the gift-giving spelled out in Common on the pipe sculpture.

That might make for a nice, tragic twist.

Killing Murielle will result in at least three enemies: Cleave (if he isn't dead as well), the druids, and the fire giants.

Ah, another nice, tragic twist!

 

[seasong]

Maybe I'm missing something, but how did a huge (pardon, Huge) oak-tree/Treant and a Dryad move into a cave with an 18" entrance?

Druid spell, windwalk.

I like the image of the giants carving massive pipes from the stone cliffs, but are we supposed to accept that they find this an appropriate gift for a petite Dryad? Is this supposed to be comical?

Well, if the fire giants knew what she was, exactly, perhaps not. Or, then again, this is the sort of thing that could look really good against a mantelpiece.

In general, I think I can come to this conclusion: seasong shouldn't attempt comedy .

Thank you for the critique!

 

[mmadsen]

In general, I think I can come to this conclusion: seasong shouldn't attempt comedy .

Nah. I think a better conclusion would be: don't present a comedic piece as a real adventure, or incognito and mmadsen will get grumpy. Actually, I wonder how little rewriting your adventure would take to work as a serious adventure. It might not take much.

And speaking of rewriting, has anyone considered revising their entries to make better adventures?