Iron DM "Home Game" Revival
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Waylander the Slayer
Explorer
An entry by Waylander the Slayer: Song of Sorrow
Overview
This is not a scenario that can be easily fit into just any old campaign setting. Ravenloft (although surprisingly not mentioned once) seems a near-perfect fit, particularly with the elven undead, corruption of leaders, inability to leave the city, and horrible crimes of passion. Plus, you can always add another domain, where "Khallor, the capital city of the elven kingdom of Aldavir – known as the enlightenment of the world" might not very easily slot into a Greyhawk, FR or Scarred Lands campaign.
This is a fairly complex scenario, and would require a lot of DM study to handle properly.
Conclusion? I'm interested to see what else Waylander can produce, but this one needs more polish and clarity before it's ready for use. I would also like to see something that more DMs can use in their own campaigns.
The scenario is fairly complex - I agree with you on that. I did not mention any setting because I was going to post on this before i posted the Scenario. The elves seemed an apt fit for the corruption and the mood is dark and tragic. Any ancient kingdom that might have existed can take the place of Aldavir in this regard. It also reflects on my DMing style as well (ask my players- they hatez me for all the moral choices they have to make..heheh).
The piece is not polished and it is "bare bones" in many ways. As i was creating the scenario - there was a lot of room for expansion and clarification. But the fact of the matter was that the scenario , being as complex as is, would require a lot more detail in regards to the city, the corruption and especially with Janos.
Ingredients
Ring of Irony: Unfortunately, Waylander starts his scenario with irony defined at the top, and then proceeds to completely ignore it. I mentioned in an mirthcard's critique that irony is rather difficult to pull off, and I think it failed in this case. Still, except for some prose about Grellak Tharn at the beginning, the ring is a fairly minor element compared to the theme of corruption and passion sprinkled throughout the remainder.
I disagree with this - the ring is a major plot element, it is the ring that causes the corruption of the "uncorruptabe." It makes people commit that which against their nature, even though they are aware of this contradiction. The ring and its effects are defined further under settings - "[4. The ring has several effects on those that enter the city:
• Every 4 hours the PCs spent in the city they have to make a Will save DC15+one for every additional 4 hours spent (15 after first 4hrs, 16 after 8hrs etc)
• Each failed save has the following effects:
o Aligment shift – each characters alignment shifts one degree down (lawful to neutral, neutral to chaotic,good to neutral, neutral to evil)
o Whenver a character is faced with a stressful situation after the first failed save for alignment shift, the character has to make a will save DC 20, on a failed save the PC goes into uncontrollable barbaric rage (same as Rage except the Pc has no control over when and against whom it happens)
Tasty Pudding: Really, this could have been a particularly lovely shade of purple - it was lacking in puddingness that was vital to its presence. Still, the ability to distract the Lorac for 1d4+1 rounds is a nice touch.
Thank you
It was hard to have the fun and fluffy puddingness in a dark and brooding scenario.
Wraith w/levels of Bard: Really, this one shone. Janos Tith is a tragic, corrupted, passionate figure who ties the themes of the elven undead and the whole Unmaker vs Song of Creation in delightful fashion. This is an NPC that I, as a DM, could really sink my teeth into.
As i was creating the NPC i could visualize him well, I think he deserved to be developed futher than I was able to along with the chef as well.
Tree of Knowledge: This was tossed in. Janos Tith is named the Tree of Knowledge, but this really doesn't factor into much other than he knows enough to write the Song of Creation, and there's a plot hook available in the name.
This deserved to be developed further...I thought the Tree of Knowledge being a person was actually kooool. Further, it would be a title of office and the person would have been the receptacle of all bardic lore. Point taken
Barbarian Rage: I'm not sure how barbarian-like it is, but I really like the idea of an alternately brooding and raging elven vampire lord. The rest of the city being rage-prone is just bonus.
i thought the best part of the rage was the fact that the PCs might be effected by this...
A large city: Reasonably well handled. Full points.
As usual, we have about 3 of 6 good ingredient uses.
Thank you
Finally, a few questions burned themselves in my mind:
Why is the ring "also known as the Unmaker", when, to date, only its creator knows what it really is?
because it is a unique item and a minor artifact to boot. further, the fact that it "unmakes" those around it, made me give it the name
Why was Lorac, "chosen for his knowledge and wisdom", referring to a barbarian tribe capable of producing the Unmaker as "insignificant"?
That was Loracs hubris and of the society in general. if he didnt have that fatal flaw, the situation might not have occured. Vanity can be a bitch...hehehe
Originality
The scenario is imaginative, and the raging elven undead is particularly original. I also like the idea of destroying a ring with a song - a variant of this entry might have done particularly well with the rousing music ingredient .
Thank you. I loved doing this. i think it should be a mandatory exercise for all DMs to improve their rat bastardlyness...Hmmm anyone up for the ingredients with the "throne of fat" hehehe
Overview
This is not a scenario that can be easily fit into just any old campaign setting. Ravenloft (although surprisingly not mentioned once) seems a near-perfect fit, particularly with the elven undead, corruption of leaders, inability to leave the city, and horrible crimes of passion. Plus, you can always add another domain, where "Khallor, the capital city of the elven kingdom of Aldavir – known as the enlightenment of the world" might not very easily slot into a Greyhawk, FR or Scarred Lands campaign.
This is a fairly complex scenario, and would require a lot of DM study to handle properly.
Conclusion? I'm interested to see what else Waylander can produce, but this one needs more polish and clarity before it's ready for use. I would also like to see something that more DMs can use in their own campaigns.
The scenario is fairly complex - I agree with you on that. I did not mention any setting because I was going to post on this before i posted the Scenario. The elves seemed an apt fit for the corruption and the mood is dark and tragic. Any ancient kingdom that might have existed can take the place of Aldavir in this regard. It also reflects on my DMing style as well (ask my players- they hatez me for all the moral choices they have to make..heheh).
The piece is not polished and it is "bare bones" in many ways. As i was creating the scenario - there was a lot of room for expansion and clarification. But the fact of the matter was that the scenario , being as complex as is, would require a lot more detail in regards to the city, the corruption and especially with Janos.
Ingredients
Ring of Irony: Unfortunately, Waylander starts his scenario with irony defined at the top, and then proceeds to completely ignore it. I mentioned in an mirthcard's critique that irony is rather difficult to pull off, and I think it failed in this case. Still, except for some prose about Grellak Tharn at the beginning, the ring is a fairly minor element compared to the theme of corruption and passion sprinkled throughout the remainder.
I disagree with this - the ring is a major plot element, it is the ring that causes the corruption of the "uncorruptabe." It makes people commit that which against their nature, even though they are aware of this contradiction. The ring and its effects are defined further under settings - "[4. The ring has several effects on those that enter the city:
• Every 4 hours the PCs spent in the city they have to make a Will save DC15+one for every additional 4 hours spent (15 after first 4hrs, 16 after 8hrs etc)
• Each failed save has the following effects:
o Aligment shift – each characters alignment shifts one degree down (lawful to neutral, neutral to chaotic,good to neutral, neutral to evil)
o Whenver a character is faced with a stressful situation after the first failed save for alignment shift, the character has to make a will save DC 20, on a failed save the PC goes into uncontrollable barbaric rage (same as Rage except the Pc has no control over when and against whom it happens)
Tasty Pudding: Really, this could have been a particularly lovely shade of purple - it was lacking in puddingness that was vital to its presence. Still, the ability to distract the Lorac for 1d4+1 rounds is a nice touch.
Thank you
It was hard to have the fun and fluffy puddingness in a dark and brooding scenario.Wraith w/levels of Bard: Really, this one shone. Janos Tith is a tragic, corrupted, passionate figure who ties the themes of the elven undead and the whole Unmaker vs Song of Creation in delightful fashion. This is an NPC that I, as a DM, could really sink my teeth into.
As i was creating the NPC i could visualize him well, I think he deserved to be developed futher than I was able to along with the chef as well.
Tree of Knowledge: This was tossed in. Janos Tith is named the Tree of Knowledge, but this really doesn't factor into much other than he knows enough to write the Song of Creation, and there's a plot hook available in the name.
This deserved to be developed further...I thought the Tree of Knowledge being a person was actually kooool. Further, it would be a title of office and the person would have been the receptacle of all bardic lore. Point taken
Barbarian Rage: I'm not sure how barbarian-like it is, but I really like the idea of an alternately brooding and raging elven vampire lord. The rest of the city being rage-prone is just bonus.
i thought the best part of the rage was the fact that the PCs might be effected by this...
A large city: Reasonably well handled. Full points.
As usual, we have about 3 of 6 good ingredient uses.
Thank you
Finally, a few questions burned themselves in my mind:
Why is the ring "also known as the Unmaker", when, to date, only its creator knows what it really is?
because it is a unique item and a minor artifact to boot. further, the fact that it "unmakes" those around it, made me give it the name
Why was Lorac, "chosen for his knowledge and wisdom", referring to a barbarian tribe capable of producing the Unmaker as "insignificant"?
That was Loracs hubris and of the society in general. if he didnt have that fatal flaw, the situation might not have occured. Vanity can be a bitch...hehehe
Originality
The scenario is imaginative, and the raging elven undead is particularly original. I also like the idea of destroying a ring with a song - a variant of this entry might have done particularly well with the rousing music ingredient .
Thank you. I loved doing this. i think it should be a mandatory exercise for all DMs to improve their rat bastardlyness...Hmmm anyone up for the ingredients with the "throne of fat" hehehe
Re: Funny enough, mmadsen, here it is! (Better late than never I suppose )
It looks like seasong has handled things quite nicely, but I suppose I should add in my two cents as well.
In The Ballad of Mad Jack, our heroes stumble across the dim-witted ghost of a deceased womanizer and his faithful, ill-tempered black pudding. Only in Iron DM! A bit zany for my personal taste, but certainly fun.
I enjoyed the numerous ironies -- first the ironic twists on the three wishes (a D&D staple), and then the irony of the intelligent ring stuck with its moronic master because of its ironic-twist efforts to get rid of him.
I also love the image of a city in a bottle. The only thing it needed was seasong's suggested irony: putting the Tree of Knowledge in the bottle!
Thus, as far as ingredients go, I largely agree with seasong's appraisal -- three out of six ain't bad.
My concern -- and this concern comes up a lot in Iron DM and with published adventures -- is that we've got an interesting backstory, but do we have an interesting adventure?
Mad Jack and his pudding certainly seem memorable, but what do the PCs do with them? Likely the PCs will fight them and either win or lose. Maybe they'll listen to Mad Jack's story. Where's the adventure though?
)It looks like seasong has handled things quite nicely, but I suppose I should add in my two cents as well.
In The Ballad of Mad Jack, our heroes stumble across the dim-witted ghost of a deceased womanizer and his faithful, ill-tempered black pudding. Only in Iron DM! A bit zany for my personal taste, but certainly fun.
I enjoyed the numerous ironies -- first the ironic twists on the three wishes (a D&D staple), and then the irony of the intelligent ring stuck with its moronic master because of its ironic-twist efforts to get rid of him.
I also love the image of a city in a bottle. The only thing it needed was seasong's suggested irony: putting the Tree of Knowledge in the bottle!
Thus, as far as ingredients go, I largely agree with seasong's appraisal -- three out of six ain't bad.
My concern -- and this concern comes up a lot in Iron DM and with published adventures -- is that we've got an interesting backstory, but do we have an interesting adventure?
Mad Jack and his pudding certainly seem memorable, but what do the PCs do with them? Likely the PCs will fight them and either win or lose. Maybe they'll listen to Mad Jack's story. Where's the adventure though?
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Like mirthcard's entry, Waylander the Slayer's Song of Sorrows gives us an elaborate background story before the adventure begins. Perhaps we could trim this down?
In anger at the encroachment of the growing Aldavir empire and its civilized ways, Grellak Tharn, high shaman of Morlak, father of the Northgar tribes, sends a cursed gift to Lord Lorac Elaven in his gilded city of Khallor -- a ring infused with Chaos, a ring he named "Unmaker".
If we break down the actual adventure, we have a few good encounters:
In anger at the encroachment of the growing Aldavir empire and its civilized ways, Grellak Tharn, high shaman of Morlak, father of the Northgar tribes, sends a cursed gift to Lord Lorac Elaven in his gilded city of Khallor -- a ring infused with Chaos, a ring he named "Unmaker".
Although this could be considered a cop-out, I actually liked the poetic use of "tree of knowledge" -- particularly for a bard amongst elves in the midst of their eternal city.
No two ways about it, the pudding angle's weak. Perhaps the chef could, in the backstory, poison his lord with the pudding? Or feed him a blood pudding of horrific origins? After all, the beloved chef may be jealous of the even-more-beloved bard...
Not quite ironic. Certainly tragic, and I love the ring as a corrupting influence, but it's not particularly ironic.
Yeesh! That's certainly rage. Interestingly, we have a seething barbarian at the start of the story, and a raging paragon of civilization here. It's not quite Barbarian Rage, but I like it -- and it has a small dose of irony.
I'm not quite clear about when everyone became undead. I'm guessing it's the ring's influence. What happened to the populace as a whole? All I know is that they "degenerated over time" and "eek out a meager living".
If we break down the actual adventure, we have a few good encounters:
- The Ghost of Lady Shiala -- If the PCs approach her to parlay or calm her with song, they can get the whole backstory. Otherwise, they fight a ghost.
- Janos Tith -- Janos, like Shiala, can be calmed with music. He can also point them to his magic harp and teach them his Song of Creation. It can destroy the Unmaker. If they fight him, they have to recover his notes and learn to play the song the hard way. (Fairly flexible.)
- Lothaine Marar -- The cook simply wants to cook for them. If they don't eat his food, they fight a Ghoul. If they do eat his food, they learn the Lord Lorac is a Vampire who still loves pudding -- and the chef gives them pudding to tempt Lorac. (Silly, but I guess it works. I certainly see room for blood pudding here though.)
- Lord Lorac Elaven -- Lorac is a Vampire, and he's bound to the throne room. (Why?) He can be reasoned with, if not easily, and he's easily distracted by pudding. (Again, silly.) He has armed cohorts with him. (That makes the pudding distraction a bit difficult to actually use, no?)
seasong
First Post
Good to see you back where you belong, mmadsen 
.
I'm going to see if I can't have an entry of some sort of my own, either tonight or early tomorrow.
Also, we need to figure out some way to motivate people to post here, so I can feed my ceaseless hunger for things to critique.
feed me
Ah, ignore that. Anyway, any ideas?
.I'm going to see if I can't have an entry of some sort of my own, either tonight or early tomorrow.
Also, we need to figure out some way to motivate people to post here, so I can feed my ceaseless hunger for things to critique.
feed me
Ah, ignore that. Anyway, any ideas?
Waylander the Slayer
Explorer
Glad to see you back....
Post the ingredients you want to use Seasong and we can have a good old shootout...and get ready for some New York style a...whupping hehehe
Hey MM, glad to see you back from your hiatus. Great crticism btw, the whole suggestion with the pudding and the jealous chef is a wonderful element that i wish i had thought of. It would make the "blood" pudding a lot more effective.
I say we create the "Rat Dastardly DMs Club" and take on those high and mighty rat bastards in a team iron DM contest
Post the ingredients you want to use Seasong and we can have a good old shootout...and get ready for some New York style a...whupping hehehe
Hey MM, glad to see you back from your hiatus. Great crticism btw, the whole suggestion with the pudding and the jealous chef is a wonderful element that i wish i had thought of. It would make the "blood" pudding a lot more effective.
I say we create the "Rat Dastardly DMs Club" and take on those high and mighty rat bastards in a team iron DM contest
