Wow.
This is the first time I was
certain I had lost. There have been times I suspected it and was wrong, or certain I had won and lost, and other times it was equally as likely either way - but I was sure CarpeDavid had me beat.
He had a great entry. And when I first started working with the ingredients I thought that only an epic level adventure would do them justice, but that I am woefully underqualified for such a treatment - so I purposefully tried to go the opposite way. As you can tell I did not even mention magic in that whole entry.
But then I saw CD's entry and he had not only done it, but done it well. . . My hats off to you, Dave.
As for the judgment, I knew "Final Enemy" was my weakest ingredient, so I tried to sprinkle it in there as much as possible hoping one of them would catch the eye, but all the while knowing it was a fairly obvious ploy.
"Best of Intentions" while not presented in a way for PCs to interact with directly, was there in directly in terms of learning about motivations and the logistics of the city's problems in the midts of their investigation.
An adventure
is a story, whether or not PCs become involved with it or how fast they do it goes on with or without them - without that you have rail-roading and lack of verisimilitude. Including a reference to what happens if the PCs do not take a hook is not an admission of weak hooks (just he opposite, I though my hooks were really good) but rather a statement on the obstinance of players (at least in my experience).
Dictionary.com was my friend when it came to "Queen of Spiders" (oh snap! I'm giving away my secrets), and I have even put ingredients into Google just to shake my mind out of literal or linear thought - but when I saw that a spider is also a trivet I thought of how a cook is the hub of kitchen and how info passes through him from both the floor and the individual components of a kitchen and it really made me think aabout passing of information. It just all came together.
My favorite part of my own entry is the ways the adventure could change stylistically based on timing and hook-choice - again showing the story-angle of my style, i.e. here is something that is happening, how do the PCs'actions affect this happening? how do their lack of action affect it?
Personally, I can't agree with Wulf saying my ingredients di not seem tight - when "Dwellers of a Forbidden City", "Queen of Spiders", "Best of Intentions" and "Assassin's Knot" all tied into each other in terms of motvation and presentation of an adversary - and Keep on the Borderlands, while further out - was still central in the Guild's plan. As I said before "The Final Enemy"
was crap.
But then again, I can see that unlike my usual entries, I did not use consistancy of imagery to bind things together, which CD did very effectively - but I just think it is a different kind of binding.
Anyway, while I'm glad I won and look forward to the final round, if I had lost to that entry I would have been just fine with it - because it definitely is the kind that keeps the level of competition in these later rounds up to a great level.
CD, thanks again and you, too - Wulf.