Iron dm summer champion announced!
- Thread starter Rune
- Start date
cool hand luke
First Post
first thing i saw was that season said he wrote a bit to much, and my heart did rejoice. Man it's hard to concisely state some of this stuff. Man that was a fun exercise, though now my brain is oozing out my ears.
cool hand luke
First Post
oh crap it, forgot to give any particulars.
Jezzell is an 8th level rogue, heavy on charisma
shanzli is an 11 level ex-monk
Jezzell is an 8th level rogue, heavy on charisma
shanzli is an 11 level ex-monk
cool hand luke
First Post
wow seasong, that is incredible. I mean, really really good.
I'm big into theology, and church history, and that was really impressive. did you know the history of that saint already, or go find it.
kudo's to you, excellent work.
I'm big into theology, and church history, and that was really impressive. did you know the history of that saint already, or go find it.
kudo's to you, excellent work.
Greppa of Tartwater
First Post
Hrm....
*Looks at Seasong's looooooong post*
Hrmmm, now I see what happened to my L.A.T.D. update.
P.S.
Good Luck.
*BAMF*
*Looks at Seasong's looooooong post*
Hrmmm, now I see what happened to my L.A.T.D. update.
P.S.
Good Luck.
*BAMF*
Wow - those were two very cool scenarios! Congrats definitely to both of you, Seasong and Cool Hand Luke!
Seasong: Despite the fact that it seemed vaguely like there wasn't really a whole lot of actual action defined, there are TONS of plothooks to follow and ways to take it. It's definitely more of a "some assembly required", but the finished product could be really cool!
Cool Hand Luke: Despite being a newcomer to these competitions, you definitely show a lot of promise. The beginning of your story started out slow (since you were basically just telling a story at that point), but once you got into the current happenings it definitely picked up. I loved how Jezzell used the fact that she was immune to poison without realizing why she had that ability (in fact, when you were describing that encounter and the contact poison, I couldn't figure out at first why she was immune, either! Great differentiation between personalities.).
And definite rat-bastardness throughout, especially at the end where the PCs are attacked by a well-known public figure in private. 
Overall, I could definitely see it going either way. Good luck!
Seasong: Despite the fact that it seemed vaguely like there wasn't really a whole lot of actual action defined, there are TONS of plothooks to follow and ways to take it. It's definitely more of a "some assembly required", but the finished product could be really cool!
Cool Hand Luke: Despite being a newcomer to these competitions, you definitely show a lot of promise. The beginning of your story started out slow (since you were basically just telling a story at that point), but once you got into the current happenings it definitely picked up. I loved how Jezzell used the fact that she was immune to poison without realizing why she had that ability (in fact, when you were describing that encounter and the contact poison, I couldn't figure out at first why she was immune, either! Great differentiation between personalities.).
And definite rat-bastardness throughout, especially at the end where the PCs are attacked by a well-known public figure in private. Overall, I could definitely see it going either way. Good luck!
Rune
Once A Fool
Round 2, match 1 Judgement
cool hand luke vs. Seasong
First things first, I have a to say, cool hand luke, this is an impressive improvement in both format and in presentation. You've done a much more polished and well-thought out entry than your last one! I'm pleased. On the other hand, Seasong! You lose points for consistently misspelling Cthulhu! Kutulu or Ktulu would have been acceptible, but Cthulu is just plain laziness!
To get into the adventures, though. Seasong provides good hooks--very flexible, detailed and diverse. They are sound and solid. However, cool hand luke's single hook is far superior. Why? It combines greed with curiosity and is certain to work. I haven't met a party yet that would pass that hook up.
Now, cool hand luke's actual adventure is very short. In fact, it reads more as a sort of extended encounter than an actual adventure. It's really sort of an introduction to some future adventure. Still, not really linear and, most importantly, he steps away from the railroading that plagued his last entry (and would have caused him to lose, had I not been able to use his excellent intrigue to easily ignore it). I really like the idea of getting the PCs drunk (and drunker than they would be suspecting, due to the poison) for the dealings (I'd make secret appraisal checks at penalties for the players and tell them in vague terms things like, "She's offering way more than it's worth" when they blow the checks due to the alcohol), but the really nice part, will be getting the PCs down that hallway while they're drunk.
Seasong, on the other hand, wow! I was a bit skeptical at first about this new setting that you've presented, especially as it pretty much has to be its own campaign. But you've provided enough information that it can be its own campaign without any problems, whatsoever. Excellent! Not only that, but you offer excellent advice for playing the campaign/adventure in different styles! Although, I might add something to your White Wolf note: The illithid-woman deals with horrible amounts of angst related to her corruption and transformation, while enjoying the benefits that it presents. But, I'm just being mean.
Both entries are wildly creative. Seasong builds upon anonystu's bold gambit and sets up an adventure far beyond the standard D&D. Furthermore, it's creepy as hell. But, then, so is cool hand luke's! Added to that, hints of the Dune series keep showing up, which are a nice touch. I like how cool hand luke presents his background in a story; it makes things easy to understand and provides context. Of course, if it had been a bad story, or poorly written, it would have counted against him, but, fortunately, it was not. Another nice touch, was the way his hints at an oriental flavor, without actually adhering to the trappings, making the scenario nicely generic.
He also has some strong hooks for the PCs to follow up on after the adventure (he'd better, as the adventure is pretty much just an introduction). If the PCs kill Jezell, they'll have to deal with the consequences of it (and it's not too unlikely a scenario), if not, they'll probably want to go hunting for the pearl. Seasong's entry shines in this area, however. The hooks presented are extraordinarily varied, and all completely natural outgrowths of the events of adventure. Which brings me to another point. Seasong's format is event-based action combined with location-based events. But the beauty is, things react to the PCs, so when the PCs react to them, more things will naturally react to the PCs.
Both adventures used ingredients strongly, but some were weaker in both entries, as well.
I want to make a note of the first ingredient, the femme fatale. She's a staple of film noir and may have seemed at odds with the oriental flavor of some of the other ingredients. Basically, she is a woman who is deadly. She is traditionally seductive and utterly unredeemable. However, there is something more fundamental about her. Not only is she deadly, she destroys through corruption. Seasong dropped the trappings of the ingredient, but kept to that fundamental factor. Cool hand luke, on the other hand, while he provides a wonderful character, stretches the meaning of the word too far. His character is excellent, but she is no femme fatale.
Both entries use the origami golem in intriguing ways. I am pleased to see it used as art, as well as protection, in Seasong's, although the change in weight breaks the verisimilitude for me, in the same way that Megatron's transformation to the tiny gun always did. Strictly speaking, cool hand luke's origami golems are just statues,even after, perhaps, they get inhabited by spirits. However, they are wonderfully innovative. Constructing them out of many tiny pieces of origami was something I wasn't expecting, and feels very nice.
The Pearl is a good ingredient for both entries, as well. I like how, in cool hand luke's, there is no mention of whether or not the pearl that the PCs would be hunting for is the same pearl that is embedded in the main NPCs' head. Probably not, but it could be... Making the pearl an egg is a pretty good innovation for Seasong's, but making it an illithid's egg is excellent! Making it sentient is even better!
Seasong's foreboding mansion is brilliant. Not only is it a great concept, a demiplane for an art-snob, but the art makes it litterally foreboding! I've also had another thought that would be important to think about in a modern setting. These demimplanes would be the perfect places to commit murder; no one would ever find out!
I like the crumbling temple in cool hand luke's adventure; putting it within the "mansion" makes sense and having it crumble because of the continual actions of Shanzli is very nice.
I also think that his use of the Ex-monk is his strongest ingredient. The character(s) is(are) wholey believable and pretty damned frightening in either state. Also, the PCs are faced with a pretty nice moral quandary; the best outcome for the ex-monk is death. Will they persue it?
However, I didn't think the foreboding mansion was particularly well-done. It need not have been a mansion (and, in fact, I wasn't sure that it was), nor foreboding (and, in fact, it wasn't very foreboding. I love the way it is presented on the inside, but I don't think it matches the ingredient very well.
Seasong uses a couple of weak ingredients, as well. His ex-monk is fairly useful as a hook, but ultimately not as significant as I would have liked. Also, I don't remember seeing anywhere that the temple is crumbling, but I can't see how it would be important that it was.
Cool hand luke, you have submitted an entry far superior to your last one, although a very short adventure, when you come down to it (nevermind the length of the entry--it didn't hurt the flow). Your entry is certainly better than other winning entries of second-round matches that I have seen in the past.
But Seasong is the reigning champion for a damned good reason, and he shows off why with his entry. He packed a campaign into an adventure, made it as seamless as it needed to be, and didn't leave out anything that needed to be included. That's not just impressive; that's amazing.
I like your work, cool hand luke, and I think you've got plenty of potential, both as an Iron DM contestant and as a rat-bastardly DM, but I have to give Seasong this match. Seasong, you'll advance to the championship round and cool hand luke, you will challenge the losing entrant of Round 2, match 2 for the third-place honor.
cool hand luke vs. Seasong
First things first, I have a to say, cool hand luke, this is an impressive improvement in both format and in presentation. You've done a much more polished and well-thought out entry than your last one! I'm pleased. On the other hand, Seasong! You lose points for consistently misspelling Cthulhu! Kutulu or Ktulu would have been acceptible, but Cthulu is just plain laziness!
To get into the adventures, though. Seasong provides good hooks--very flexible, detailed and diverse. They are sound and solid. However, cool hand luke's single hook is far superior. Why? It combines greed with curiosity and is certain to work. I haven't met a party yet that would pass that hook up.
Now, cool hand luke's actual adventure is very short. In fact, it reads more as a sort of extended encounter than an actual adventure. It's really sort of an introduction to some future adventure. Still, not really linear and, most importantly, he steps away from the railroading that plagued his last entry (and would have caused him to lose, had I not been able to use his excellent intrigue to easily ignore it). I really like the idea of getting the PCs drunk (and drunker than they would be suspecting, due to the poison) for the dealings (I'd make secret appraisal checks at penalties for the players and tell them in vague terms things like, "She's offering way more than it's worth" when they blow the checks due to the alcohol), but the really nice part, will be getting the PCs down that hallway while they're drunk.
Seasong, on the other hand, wow! I was a bit skeptical at first about this new setting that you've presented, especially as it pretty much has to be its own campaign. But you've provided enough information that it can be its own campaign without any problems, whatsoever. Excellent! Not only that, but you offer excellent advice for playing the campaign/adventure in different styles! Although, I might add something to your White Wolf note: The illithid-woman deals with horrible amounts of angst related to her corruption and transformation, while enjoying the benefits that it presents. But, I'm just being mean.
Both entries are wildly creative. Seasong builds upon anonystu's bold gambit and sets up an adventure far beyond the standard D&D. Furthermore, it's creepy as hell. But, then, so is cool hand luke's! Added to that, hints of the Dune series keep showing up, which are a nice touch. I like how cool hand luke presents his background in a story; it makes things easy to understand and provides context. Of course, if it had been a bad story, or poorly written, it would have counted against him, but, fortunately, it was not. Another nice touch, was the way his hints at an oriental flavor, without actually adhering to the trappings, making the scenario nicely generic.
He also has some strong hooks for the PCs to follow up on after the adventure (he'd better, as the adventure is pretty much just an introduction). If the PCs kill Jezell, they'll have to deal with the consequences of it (and it's not too unlikely a scenario), if not, they'll probably want to go hunting for the pearl. Seasong's entry shines in this area, however. The hooks presented are extraordinarily varied, and all completely natural outgrowths of the events of adventure. Which brings me to another point. Seasong's format is event-based action combined with location-based events. But the beauty is, things react to the PCs, so when the PCs react to them, more things will naturally react to the PCs.
Both adventures used ingredients strongly, but some were weaker in both entries, as well.
I want to make a note of the first ingredient, the femme fatale. She's a staple of film noir and may have seemed at odds with the oriental flavor of some of the other ingredients. Basically, she is a woman who is deadly. She is traditionally seductive and utterly unredeemable. However, there is something more fundamental about her. Not only is she deadly, she destroys through corruption. Seasong dropped the trappings of the ingredient, but kept to that fundamental factor. Cool hand luke, on the other hand, while he provides a wonderful character, stretches the meaning of the word too far. His character is excellent, but she is no femme fatale.
Both entries use the origami golem in intriguing ways. I am pleased to see it used as art, as well as protection, in Seasong's, although the change in weight breaks the verisimilitude for me, in the same way that Megatron's transformation to the tiny gun always did. Strictly speaking, cool hand luke's origami golems are just statues,even after, perhaps, they get inhabited by spirits. However, they are wonderfully innovative. Constructing them out of many tiny pieces of origami was something I wasn't expecting, and feels very nice.
The Pearl is a good ingredient for both entries, as well. I like how, in cool hand luke's, there is no mention of whether or not the pearl that the PCs would be hunting for is the same pearl that is embedded in the main NPCs' head. Probably not, but it could be... Making the pearl an egg is a pretty good innovation for Seasong's, but making it an illithid's egg is excellent! Making it sentient is even better!
Seasong's foreboding mansion is brilliant. Not only is it a great concept, a demiplane for an art-snob, but the art makes it litterally foreboding! I've also had another thought that would be important to think about in a modern setting. These demimplanes would be the perfect places to commit murder; no one would ever find out!
I like the crumbling temple in cool hand luke's adventure; putting it within the "mansion" makes sense and having it crumble because of the continual actions of Shanzli is very nice.
I also think that his use of the Ex-monk is his strongest ingredient. The character(s) is(are) wholey believable and pretty damned frightening in either state. Also, the PCs are faced with a pretty nice moral quandary; the best outcome for the ex-monk is death. Will they persue it?
However, I didn't think the foreboding mansion was particularly well-done. It need not have been a mansion (and, in fact, I wasn't sure that it was), nor foreboding (and, in fact, it wasn't very foreboding. I love the way it is presented on the inside, but I don't think it matches the ingredient very well.
Seasong uses a couple of weak ingredients, as well. His ex-monk is fairly useful as a hook, but ultimately not as significant as I would have liked. Also, I don't remember seeing anywhere that the temple is crumbling, but I can't see how it would be important that it was.
Cool hand luke, you have submitted an entry far superior to your last one, although a very short adventure, when you come down to it (nevermind the length of the entry--it didn't hurt the flow). Your entry is certainly better than other winning entries of second-round matches that I have seen in the past.
But Seasong is the reigning champion for a damned good reason, and he shows off why with his entry. He packed a campaign into an adventure, made it as seamless as it needed to be, and didn't leave out anything that needed to be included. That's not just impressive; that's amazing.
I like your work, cool hand luke, and I think you've got plenty of potential, both as an Iron DM contestant and as a rat-bastardly DM, but I have to give Seasong this match. Seasong, you'll advance to the championship round and cool hand luke, you will challenge the losing entrant of Round 2, match 2 for the third-place honor.
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