Is it inherently harder to be a female DM?

[Mark Chance]

Children overload!

In defense of Mark Chance, he's not talking about the same thing the rest of you are talking about. I don't know why he's talking about it in this thread, but it's not the same topic at all.

Because, on vacation from teaching right now, I'm stuck in the house with my 4 and 5-year old children. I try discussing these sorts of things with them, but they just giggle, roll their eyes, and ask me to color with them.

Mark Chance's group just happens to use gaming as their "male mystery cult".

And that's cool.

Yes, it is. And thank you.

Just so this stay relatively on-topic, I'd've personally told the louts that got this whole thread started to shut their cake holes. Maybe I'm just waaay too old-fashioned, but being able to treat a woman like a lady is one of the paramount distinctions that separates men from mere boys.

-- Mark L. Chance.

 

[mythago]

Er, I don't think anyone was criticizing Mark Chance at all. He's setting the rules for a private, friends-only gaming group, and that's cool. Quite different from joining an "open group" or a gaming club and acting like a nitwit because there are girls with cooties present.

 

[Ziona]

Ziona, you wimp. Building a house and only playing in 3 campaigns? Why, in my day, that was just a start! What, you need sleep or something?

Actually, I've been running on caffiene all week! Sleep...who needs it?! Bring on the No-Doze!

We actually haven't started the 3rd campaign yet. We begin on Jan 8th. I may write the story for that one, plus I write the story hour for Unusual Heroes, so I don't know about a story hour for my own campaign...maybe...if I don't sleep...

 

[Mark Chance]

But of course!

Quite different from joining an "open group" or a gaming club and acting like a nitwit because there are girls with cooties present.

I won't go near an open group or a gaming club (or conventions any more, for that matter) because of the nitwits. Especially the nitwits whose ages end with the "teen" sound and like the game because it's "kewl."

[shudder]*Hugs self to be reassuring.*[/shudder]

 

[Mathew_Freeman]

Me and some friends had fun at GenConUK this year. We were up at about 3am in the RPG section (top of the building). The CCG players were in the basement. We had reliable reports that some of them couldn't be bothered to sleep either.

So we started discussing ways of winding them up. We thought about going down in the lift, running out and flipping some tables over...or just shouting into the endless rustling noises down there...or other weirdness, but we were too tired to actually do anything...

There was a point to this story, but it has temporarily escaped the authors mind.

 

[randomling]

Hey everybody.

Just to say another "thank you" to everybody who's posted their thoughts and advice. I've come to the decision that I'm probably going to leave this group. I'm definitely joining another one, and have plans to start my own. Is there much activity in the Gamers Seeking Gamers forum?

I'm also sad I missed Dragonmeet and GenCon this year. Ah well, next time....

Ziona, good luck with your game, and let me know how it goes. If you write a story hour, you can rely on me reading it!

Thank you!

 

[Mathew_Freeman]

Ziona writes "The Unnusual Heroes" story hours, amongst others. I will happily pimp them for her!

Unnusual Heroes ra ra ra!
Unnusual Heroes ra ra ra!

 

[Rahkan]

I believe that this link cannot help but be of a unique use in showing one example of male-female interpersonal relationships as they relate to DMing and RPGs...and its damn funny.

The Worst DM Ever, Part One

 

[KitanaVorr]

Hmm, being one of the few female players and DM's out there...I feel that I just have to respond to this thread.

Ok

First off its not a requirement that you be 'one of the boys' for them to learn to respect you. I engage and have engaged in traditionally 'boy' activities for most of my life and have proudly called myself a total tomboy. However, I dress very much like a woman and engage in traditionally feminine activities as well so boys actually don't think I'm a tomboy (just the girls). I work in an extreme environment where 99% of my co-workers are male---Internationally renown defense contractor--and I'm an engineer building macho fighter jets and such.

And one major disadvantage is this...I'm actually an attractive, extremely petite, young asian woman. Which results in major nobody paying attention to how smart I am and mostly trying to be super macho (which is a pain!) because I am the least threatening looking person in the world. (it doesn't help that I'm cheerful and goodnatured in person either)

So having all those disadvantages, how do I make six feet tall football players quake in fear and do exactly what I say? Its all in the attitude, baby. If your group is giving you a hard time, show them who's boss. I'm serious. You're the DM...You're the boss. Ask them what the problem is, and if its pacing, etc, solve it right away. Don't wait for them to tell you because they won't...ask-solve-move on. That's usually enough to impress them.

Don't react emotionally no matter what. That's what they want, to rile you up. When I first started working at the engineering firm, I had to deal with sexist crap from the new guys...well a few well placed witty retorts from me ended that quick. The trick is to stop it right off, don't be a doormat and think it will go away...it won't. Show them that you're not going to take it and you're not stupid either. That usually works.

And ladies, be confrontational...not "oh I'm gonna pound your face" macho, but the "I'm not going to put up with your hang ups, so deal with it or get out" kind of way. Don't be afraid to take that ultimatum and carry it out. If you back down, they won't respect you.

Its a mob mentality when you get a bunch of guys together and you're the only female. Even if they're good alone, together they can get super stupid super quick until you show them who's really the boss.

 

[Ravellion]

I think you are slightly overgeneralising with the whole "they" thing Kitana. Also your experiences seem to be work related, which might not be the attitude you want to create in a roleplaying game.

That said, I don't have a clear cut solution to the problem... but this is an old thread... isn't it?

Rav