It's that time of year... (rant)

[Queen_Dopplepopolis]

... I start classes on Monday and I am *not* excited. This is the first time in my 17 years of education that I cannot get myself happy that school is about to start. I have always been the chipper kid that skips to the classroom - new pencils sharpened and ready to learn.

Things are so different this year, though. School has been tough since I got married (at 19). I always feel like an outcast while I'm on campus - aside from age, I'm pretty much a non-traditional student. I've got a life, a husband, a job, a dog, a cat... I have so many responsibilities outside of my education and last semester I had so many professors that just didn't understand that...

Moreover - I find that I just *long* to have a normal life with my husband. I want to go to work, come home, cook dinner, and snuggle up to watch tv. I don't want to worry about homework, reading, writing, and studying in addition to my normal wifely responsibilities!

I know that my education is important (I promised my father when I got married that I would finish my college degree - no questions).

Yarg! I'm rambling and insane and I'm going to shut up now. If you have any advice - offer it. If you can think of something that will help me get excited about school - share it. If you have a joke to cheer me up - tell it. In the end, I'm just ranting becuase I'm sitting at home on my last Friday of Summer Freedom feeling sorry for myself.

 

[Desdichado]

I got married after my freshman year of college. Of course, I was a 22 year old freshman, but there you have it. My wife had just transfered, lost about a year of classes due to transfer issues, and was pregnant before her undergrad was done. By the time I finished with my undergrad, we were about to have our second -- and I still had two years of my MBA to "look forward to."

Hmmm... reading back on that, it sounds a bit like "suck it up, we had it worse" but that's not what I was trying to say. How about this: it beats the dating scene? It won't last very long?

 

[Hijinks]

I hear ya Queen D. I was a non-trad also - I was 20 when I started at community college, and didn't graduate from real college until I was 26 (had to work full-time all the way through and sometimes 2 jobs, and go to school part-time, which is why it took so long).

I never lived on campus, I never lived in a dorm. Part of me regrets that I missed that aspect of college life, but knowing myself, I know I wouldn't have liked it. I love to sleep, and I wouldn't be able to sleep in a loud, noisy dorm. Especially with parties. I would have been the kvetchy girl from Gamers who keeps complaining about the noise. I have had a roommate in the past and it drove me up the wall, so I wouldn't be good with that aspect either. I'm just a very private person and community living > me.

I was very lucky in that I was working as a security guard while in real college, so I could study at work. If I hadn't had that job, I don't know how I would have gotten through all of the reading I had to do as an English major! My profs were actually very understanding of my RL obligations, but they expected me to turn work in on time with everyone else, and I wouldn't have wanted them to expect anything different.

I know you can do it - just remember how much fun school is (you sound like me, you love the learning and the "school"ness of school, yes?) If I had unlimited fundage, I'd be on my 3rd masters degree by now, that's how much I love school! I wish I could go too!!

 

[Guillaume]

I totaly understand what you are saying. Julie and I are in the last legs of our Ph. D. We had our first child last May and I must say that I have been having a lot of difficulties finding the motivation to continue my work in the past few months.

The only encouragement I can give you is to try and find little things about school that you like and hold on to those. Also hold on to the hope that with a better education will come a better life down the line, both for you and your husband. That's what I do...

Good luck,

 

[Queen_Dopplepopolis]

Hmmm... reading back on that, it sounds a bit like "suck it up, we had it worse" but that's not what I was trying to say. How about this: it beats the dating scene? It won't last very long?

*smiles* The dating scene is something I've never really had to deal with, and I'm so glad I never did... so far as the "it won't last very long"... that's true. I've got a year + a few classes (so probably two semesters and a summer) left before I can graduate.

JD - Very inspirational story from you and your wife, though. If you guys can do it with kids - I can do it with my cat and dog!

And yes, Hijinks - I love school for the school-ness. That's why I'm going to be a teacher. I'd go forever if I had more understanding professors... but - I feel like such a minority at American University. There's very few non-trads and I've never met another married undergrad (something that wasn't all *that* uncommon at the University of South Dakota before I tranfsered). Everyone here seems so immature and so juvenile... and, what's more, they seem so self-involved. Makes it all the more difficult to deal with my own situation. But - I love my life and I love my husband and so it's all worth it.

 

[CarlZog]

My sister-in-law starts school next week too, taking an organic chemistry class. She's married, 41 years old, has two master's and a PhD and really needs no more education. She just got a new dog, and, I assure you, would rather be at home curled up with her husband and the dogs in front of the TV. But she's decided that where she now wants to go in life means going to medical school and this is the first step. So she's wading into it with her eyes on the prize. She's pretty inspiring.

Carl

 

[ForceUser]

I'm a nontraditional student, having quit my job at 30 and gone back to school. I'm 32 and starting my junior year. I like the college atmosphere, but more for the faculty than my fellow students. Some of my best friends these days are former professors. I just want to get in, get my education, and get out so I can move on with my life. That's the best advice I can give you, Queen D--don't dawdle. Don't go part-time, or take a class on the weekends. If you're going to do it, knuckle down and get it done so you can move on. I went to school four straight semesters before taking this summer off to work, and let me tell you, I was ready to take a break after averaging 15 units each time. Now I'm starting up again and looking to do it all over--four more full-time semesters and I graduate. The goal of achieving a BA is in sight.

Knuckle down, focus, and hang in there.

 

[reveal]

My wife and I married when I was 21 and she was 19. She finished her degree in Finance and Banking when she was 22 and I got mine in CS when I was 29 (last year). Going to classes sucked. We both worked full time and went to night classes (this was really hard when I was in the Air Force). We went to different colleges, so usually 3 out of 5 weeknights were spent apart. When Duncan was born in 2002, it sucked even more for me since I was at class at least two nights a week.

But now it's much better. We make a very good income and get to spend all the time we want together, and with Duncan, after work. There's always a bright light and you're getting really, really close to it.

Now I just need to sign my lazy butt up for my master's in communication....

 

[Shadeus]

I don't have quite the horror stories that I've read in this thread. I was a traditional college student and after working for a year, went back for my MBA. (I actually to stop my mother from nagging me, but that's a whole different therapy session.) Working full time and even taking only two classes a term sucked. In college, I could get away with cramming for exams and not reading the material. In grad school, you had to read everything. Every test was a majority of your grade in the class so if you had an off day, you might as well kiss your GPA goodbye.

Going back to school was the hardest thing I ever did, so I know it can't be easy for you. But the fact that it is frustrating you is a very good sign. It also means you are far more mature than I was at your age. (But after reading some of your exploits and GenCon, I could be wrong. ).

So good for you. It's never easy, but it will all be worth it in the end. The reward will be worth the journey.

 

[Desdichado]

But after reading some of your exploits and GenCon, I could be wrong.

I didn't hear anything about QD going to the strip clubs with the TBRs unless...

Rel, do those bite marks on your nipple make a match to her teeth?!