DDAL Jasper DMs Candlekeep Mysteries


Rotten DM
Remember Jasper it is not Candlemass but Candlekeep. Candlemass was/is an SCA event. I have open my table to three new people if they reserve. This will mean about 2 of my regulars from the Icewind Dale campaign will not be seated.
Set Up. The groups patron will be the Magnificent Don Meepo Mayor the Sunless Citadel. This is due to most of the openings are not making sense as no book is given for them to enter.
Props. Composition Notebooks and some door keys on ribbons will be the prop. I am planning on printing the picture of the book and taping to the front. And maybe putting the information dumps in the first couple of pages.
One problem is my work is currently blocking D&D beyond so I can't work on the game during my breaks.

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Rotten DM
I will be sitting two mostly new people. The one regular player who I told was not playing was not happy. But I did not care since I told the six regular players one or more of them would be cut for the new people.


Rotten DM
This is the letter from Don Meepo
Greetings my faithful adopted family member. I have paid your fee to Candlekeep. For this favor, I will call on you to do some minor research for me. Please make copies of the interesting books you come across. I will be running an account with the House of the Binder.


The Magnificent Don Meepo Mayor of Sunless Citadel

and this is the

Candlekeep Rules.

No magic Transportation into or out the keep.

No flames bigger than a one-inch-thick candle.

No theft of books. Or you will be sorry.

No fighting, Insult fights welcome

No Stealing of anything.

No photocopying. And don’t Ask what that means.

No damaging, marking, or modifying the works. You dog eared a book, you will be a dog.


Rotten DM
Candlekeep Mysteries Session 1

Meepo’s Mob vs Bruising Books

The Joy of Extradimensional Space and Mazfroth’s Mighty Digressions.

Days 1-10

Kythorn 19, 1492 dawn to Kythorn 29 Breakfast

Gain two levels. You should be Level 3. 20 downtime days. 160 GP before shopping.

Magic Item +1 book flail, Driftglobe, and Helm of Comprehending Languages.

As an experiment we tried to run two sessions in one night. The first one took 100 minutes. But the second one took 2.5 hours. So, we will only be doing one chapter per session. Also, the wife said no to starting the game at five. Maybe you should bribe her with jewelry?

I had a strong group of seven (Thanks Mistoffelees for correcting the math). Tigra Barbarian Tabaxi. Roland Rogue. Zanifi ranger no wizard. Mastermind aka Ronny Rogue. Scaredy Kait Tabaxi Monk. Swat Barbarian. Mistoffelees Wild Mage Sorcerer.

DM Note Wild Mage Surge On the first spell of first or higher roll the d20.

The group arrives by various methods at the bus stop um carriage stop at dawn one mile from Candlekeep. They open the package they were told to open on arriving. In it is a magical necklace of Mardi Gras. The letter states, Greetings my faithful adopted family member. I have paid your fee to Candlekeep. For this favor, I will call on you to do some minor research for me. Please make copies of the interesting books you come across. I will be running an account with the House of the Binder. Signed the Magnificent Don Meepo Mayor of Sunless Citadel.

Their cover is applying to be Avowed. Meepo’s first assignment is looking up things involving demiplanes and the Weave. After telling Roland to quick looking at copies of Killer Kobolds of Kalamazoo, they find The Joy of Extradimensional Spaces is a heavy tome. Its thick covers are made of ornately tooled leather decorated with gold filigree. Mordenkainen is on the front cover. Tigra opens the book and the group is sucked into the book. Passing through a long dark tunnel they see a light at the end of tunnel. They are about to hit a set of double doors when it opens and they fall to the floor.

Matreous an elderly sage, “Good Good. Wait here. Now the door is open, I can go get help.” He rushes out the door and the doors slam shut and double lock.

Swat, “Doors are locked and we are going to die.”

Ronny, “Chill out. Let explore this place.”

They explore the study and find lots of books with full titles. A secret door leads to the basement. A calico cat gets their attention when is shoves a book with no title on the spine. The group explores west. Tigra, Mistoffelees, and Scaredy Kait enter the exercise room and get some great excise as three evil brooms beat them nearly to death before the rest of party destroy the brooms.

The next room is a full library. Roland insults the decorate and the fact that people enjoy reading. This ticks off the books which attack the party trying smash flat Tigra and Mistoffelees. After the book swarm is taken care of. Roland remarks that learning is dangerous. And reading gives him a headache.

Ronny suddenly smells home cooking and heads east to the kitchen. Finding Cumin and Coriander who are two homunculi created by two different mages which have not been around for a while. They feed the group and the group raid the pantry. Forgetting their manners, Cumin offers them seating in the dining room. But Mistoffelees promised the DM a hair ball down his shirt if the DM wrote on why Mistoffelees broke the chair.

The basement is very dangerous with evil toads, evil baby hands and evil tadpoles. But the find some special books.

Bruise and battered they make their way to the upstairs. Finding a nice lab, some star charts, and some alchemical stuff, the group is impressed but gold hungry. Opening the western door to the planetarium they are impress but the star map on the ceiling is wrong. Tigra sets to the last nights star positions. This triggers a secret door and a hidden library of dangerous books. So dangerous, fifty feet of heavy chain hold the enclosed bookshelf in place. Ronny and Scaredy Kait explore the shelves and are beaten up. After kill the book shelf, Roland finds a book has magically infused itself into four feet of chain making a book flail.

The group explores the east wing. While trying sleeping on the owner’s bed, Mistoffelees trigger the awaken items. Which try to get the Taxbaxi off the bed, Mistoffelees wild magic surges and summons a unicorn who is not happy because he is off his feed. The unicorn help destroy the evil swords and heals some of the party members.

The group finishes exploring the house and finds the special books. Ronny guesses the clue which unlocks the demiplane. Arriving back in Candlekeep they make a report and send the book to the binder for Meepo.

A day later the group gets a message on why didn’t they research the Weave. The group slowly goes to the great library and asks the Avowed Alkrist for which section. They are directed by the Avowed to the card catalog stacks first. Zanifi finds the correct section and the group wanders down the long stacks.

Zanifi pulls the Mazfroth’s Mighty Digressions. Mazfroth’s Mighty Digressions is seven inches wide and nine inches tall. The brown leather cover is worn from time and use. The name of the book and its author, Mazfroth Gethur, are elegantly written in cursive with black ink on the first page. The care put into the front page, however, does not apply to the rest of the book’s contents. After a few minutes of reading the book changes to Ectoplasmic octopus and nearly sucks the life out of Zanifi. Swot screams about dangerous books. Various members climb the stacks and try to belly flop on the book. They finally kill the book but the Avowed Alkrist starts reading them the riot act when Roland gets in his face.

Roland, “What do you mean this is the third time in has happen in two months.” The Avowed confesses and mentions the two other titles and two people who brought those works. The two book sellers are still in the keep grand court yard. The Avowed mentions if the group discovers the original not face eating books, and puts a stop to evil books; the reward will be a magical helmet.

The group talks to the two book sellers. Highscroll a human acolyte and Valor a former Purple Knight turned bounty hunter. Both talk about picking the books from a book vendor in the Wide a huge open market in Baulder’s Gate. Roland shakes down the Avowed for travel vouchers to the Gate. Except for the hold up where they took down a wererat and a couple of swarms of rats, the journey to the Gate is very quiet.

Arriving in the Gate, they talk to the Flaming Fist about the Wide. They find the book seller. Mastermind Aka Ronny gets out his grease paint and poses as a noble. He mentions the three books which upset the two vendors Avani and Inbar. Ronny wants to speak with manager about buying copies of the three books. But the manager will not be present until tomorrow at noon. The group takes an overwatch and waits for hours for the Wide to close down. They then successfully follow the couple.

As the couple is unloading the wagon, Mistoffelees creates an unseen servant which enters the house. Only to killed by a rug.

The group returns to Amberdune books and Ronny bluffs the manger Korvala about buying the copies of the books. He promises bank notes. (AND NO, you not going to forge 4,500 GP in bank notes overnight. Especially trying to pass them off in the bank lobby.) The group decides to raid the house. In broad day light.

The group tries some second story work but that does not work because no second story exists. So, they open a window on the first floor and send in another unseen servant which is immediately killed by a rug of smothering. An old man enters the room from a hall door way.

Zan, “What is wrong with this rug?” Zanifi casts sleep on Zan. And everyone enters the house by the window. As Scaredy Kait is trying to nail down the rug, it attacks. A few rounds later, the rug is dead and Zan has been tied up and blindfolded. They search the house, nearly dying due to evil chests, evil books, and step to the basement which was loose. Finding the original copies of the books, they FINALLY decide to talk with their prisoner.

Zan gives them most of the story. Their matron died recently. Korvala and the group has been trying to make money to pay for a resurrection spell. Korvala knows a ritual to duplicate books in one night. But Zan does not know the books turn evil. Roland wants more information and suggests ambushing the merchants. But cooler heads rule. They contact the Flaming Fist, who arrest the book sellers for selling dangerous books. The group does not mention they have stored, um STOLE, the more valuable books in their backpacks. The group returns to Candlekeep with the books. Which are moved to the binders immediately.

Ok. The adventures are short. Some will be combat heavy. So will be thinking heavy. So have fun.


Rotten DM
Candlekeep Mysteries Session 2

Raving Raven or

Book of the Raven

Days 10-26

Kythorn 29, 1492 dawn to Flamerule 24 Noon

Gain a level. 10 Downtime days. 80 Gp

No Magic Items
Start Time 5:30 PM End time 9:15 PM

Pc Killed 2 Monsters Killed 37 Villains Captured 7 Villains Escaped 0

I had an average group of five. Swot Barbarian 3. Tigra barbarian 2 Monk 1. Master Mind Bard Rogue 2. Scaredy Kait Tabaxi Monk 3. Mistoffelees Wild Mage Sorcerer 3. Thanks, Mist, for giving me inspiration on making this more of haunted house thing.

DM Note I was having trouble getting into mood on how to run this. Scooby Doo or something else. Mistoffelees mention something which trigger me to do DC 14 IN saves for a horror check. If they failed, I made some mind horror up.

Don Meepo sent a message to the Meepo’s Minions to research the Shadowfell. They consulted with Great Reader Daral who mention the book of the Raven. It was brought to the keep by a raven named Heluthe. The book chronicles the months an author broke her leg after a horse threw her. She was helped by a troupe of Vistani. She stayed with troupe for a few months taking notes on their ways. The Vistani can travel the planes. But not mention of how.

Tigra, “well that was of no help.” She goes to reshelve the book and a letter falls out.

Master Mind, “maybe this map to Wytchway will help?” Talking with Kazryn Nyantani they discover Wytchway is seven days by horse from Candlekeep. Dipping into Meepo’s vouchers they gather supplies and horses from the stable. The travel is only a little exciting when they hide from a pack of wolves in the trees.

Arriving at the Chalet Brantifax, they discover a grave yard in the back. They read the four tombstones. (Clues are being censored. They know. You the reader. Play the adventure if you want to know.)

A crude front door in the front (Okay it was just a window. The DM can’t read a map.) A service entrance on the side. Mistoffelees hears a body either being dragged up or down some stairs. The others gathered around the front door hear a pane of glass being broken from about the third floor. Mistoffelees has trouble with the service door, but Swot breaks down the front.

The den is also the trophy room. Various animal heads mounted on the wall appear to stare at the party. Master Mind flips the lock and opens the door for Mistoffelees. The den opens to a dining room. But Scaredy Kait hears the sound of Bulldog walking through the den and downstairs. The group follows. With Swot nearly falling down head first if he was not caught by Master Mind.

Master Mind, “That step is too loose to occurred naturally. Be careful.”

Exploring the cellar, Mistoffelees takes to ceiling and explores from the high ground.

Mistoffelees, “Nothing will be able to get me here.” He looks down into the well and a huge Bulldog leaps from the water seventy-five feet to grab him by the neck. Or did it? No one else saw this. Scaredy Kait goes down in the well. She finds a holy symbol of Sune with a portrait of a woman. She tucks into a pouch and says nothing. Master Mind and Kait hear voices from the servant quarters, but no one else hear it. Examining the quarters, it is discovered the quarters are for the cook and groundskeeper. They return upstairs to the den.

Everyone notices a portrait is now missing. Was it there when they arrived, did they fail to notice it? The DM is not telling. They enter the dining room. Five chairs covered in sheets are around the table. The sixth is near the door. It attacks Mistoffelees.

Everyone draws weapons at his scream. Then look at him sideways as he picks the chair he knocked over and places in the proper place. The group notices raven tracks are outline in the dust on the table.

Exploring the kitchen, the group is confused. No dust. Recent dirty dishes in the sink. One serving of pot roast is.

Swot, “Pot Roast good. Want more.” The group waits for the poison to kill the hungry adventurer. They wait. And Wait. Then Swot passes gas.

Being good guest, they use spells to clean the kitchen and restart the fire. They leave a bill. Then explore the upper parlor. The parlor is clean too. Recently clean. Master Mind is mad. He can not shove a concert hall harp with gold inlay into his bag. He plays a merry tune and hears thanks in his ear. Or does he?

The parlor has steep steps leading to second floor. The second floor has the wife’s study which mentions her kids Sylphene and Heluthe. The two kids’ bedrooms. The master bedroom with.

Mistoffelees, “Hey Loot. Under the bed. Next to wall. It is a winged demon type. You readers now know where some loot is at.”

The master bedroom is clean also. So, someone is currently living in half the house. And.

Swot, “Not cleaning house. They should be ashamed.”

So, the master bedroom is clean. And.

Tigra, “Has a secret door. We open it.”

The group opens the secret door to Scarlet Sash Conference. Surprising (NOT THE COMBAT SURPISE SWOT. DOWN BOY.) the group of four. The elder a man about seventy-one talks to the group.

Taspar, “So you are here for the baron’s saddle of cavalier. Good luck. We tried the ritual with the baron’s portrait. We did not get to Shadowfell.” See Swot swinging his book mace from the last session, Taspar gives up the process of ritual and the Scarlet Sash agrees not to harm the party.

The party decides since is only one in the afternoon, to explore the rest of the house. I will not mention Mistoffelees being scared by Sylphene’s two dollies and falling down the stairs for max damage. Or the second dolly slamming Tigra’s head into the wall. Nor will I mention Kait pulling out the holy symbol and try to turn the two dollies. That would make our adventurers look like the three stooges.

The group takes a short rest after nearly losing their lives to evil dolls. Just after night fall, they do the ritual and dig up Sylphene’s grave and sleep in it. They awaken to a fall evening. Frost is on the pumpkins. They see the Baron’s Mausoleum. They laugh at the various tombstones surrounding the mausoleum. They flip off Rip and Torn the two gargoyles guarding the crypt. Tigra and Scaredy Kait rush into the family crypt. Rip and Torn follow. So does the rest of the group.

The fight is hard due only some magic items. Some people only attacking from distance. (BAD ROLLS FROM THE GROUP.) The gargoyles fall. Tigra pops the lock on the hidden compartment.

The demon figure comes alive and climbs out of Swot’s pouch. (OKAY who forgot to write down who had what loot?)

Demon Figure, “Pray to me. If you want to live Mr. Swot.” Swot knocks the figure from his shoulder. It grows. And flies up into the air.

Orcus, “Arise my ghouls. Kill these people and dig graves for them.” The baron appears above the crypt. “You people leave my saddle alone.” The group scatters. Some ghouls enter the mausoleum. Others chase the adventurers. It looks bad.

Baron, “Leave by these graves and trouble me no more.” Five graves glow in the dark about eighty feet from the entrance of the mausoleum. The group fights on.

The ghouls drop Master Mind. The ghouls drop Kait. The ghouls drop Tigra. (OK THIS IS looking like TPK.) Swot feeds Master Mind his potion of healing. Master Mind plays dead. Swot flees toward the glowing graves drawing most of ghouls after him. Mistoffelees goes long around the mob.

Master Mind dashes into crypt and feeds Tigra’s potion to her. He dashes into the great crypt and flings the saddle across his shoulder.

Baron, “DO NOT TAKE MY SADDLE OUT THE CRYPT.” Master Mind the flees out and around the back of the crypt drawing have the ghouls with him. (Great tactics). Death takes Kait.


Swot dives into his grave. Mistoffelees dives into his grave. Tigra runs through a small mob of ghouls.

Baron, “THE HUNT IS ON!” He blows a hunting horn. Three warhorse skeletons arise from the crypts. Tigra jumps into her grave. Master Mind dashes away from the mob in the rear of the graveyard but is nearly clothesline by the group in front. The baron and two girls appear on the horses.


Sylphene, “WEE. I hurt him daddy. His is on the ground. And bleeding out.”

Heluthe, “NO. Daddy I don’t want to play ride down the peasant.” She puts her spurs into the warhorse and it jumps over Master Mind.


Death, “That had to hurt but you were unconscious.”

SKULLY, “Now serving 99.”

Mistoffelees, Swot, and Tigra with some trouble dig themselves out their graves and return to the prime material plane. They drag themselves back to Candlekeep to be welcomed by their dead friends who are now alive.

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Rotten DM
Darn after reading the opening three times I still missed the raven was called Heluthe. I was having a hard time on why the group should be afraid of the house. And I may have missed it, but I did not see any reason in the story for the adventurers to travel to shadowfell. Anybody got a room number or in the written story reason?
Two deaths could have been three if wasn't for some smart tactics. And i was rolling great.

At the beginning:
Characters in Candlekeep might uncover this book and the treasure map hidden inside it while researching one of the following topics: Possible routes into and out of the Shadowfell.


Rotten DM
Candlekeep Mysteries Session 3

A Deep And Creeping Darkness or

Mining Boom

Days 27-49

Flamerule 25 to Eleasis 14 7 AM.

Gain a level. 10 Downtime days. 80 Gp. Or not as next week is a level 4 also

Ring of Swimming and Googles of Night

Start Time 5:55 PM End time 8:24 PM

Pc Killed 2 Monsters Killed 46 Villains Captured 7 Villains Escaped 2

I had an average group of four. Tigra barbarian 2 monk 2. Scaredy Kait Tabaxi Monk 4. Swot Books Hurt Barbarian 4. Master Mind Bard 1 Rogue 3.

Meepo is interested in mining and asks the group to find abandon mines. They find A Deep and Creeping Darkness which talks about a haunted and deserted mine.

Master Mind, “Did he say anything about haunted.”

Scaredy Kait, “It does not matter. But we better check it out.”

The first problem on their journey is the stables. Khe’ril Hammerbind was not happy that five horses were returned but only nineteen horseshoes. After yelling at them for five minutes he gives them four nags.

Swot, “But he already nagged us for five minutes.”

DM, “Groan. Four substandard horses. Aka Nags.”

Maerin the town at the bottom of mountain where Vermeillon existed is six days away. On the six day they met a convoy going to Maerin. They join it but are suspicious of a wagon which is curiosity very lightly loaded to be going to merchant fair. They discuss raiding it during the night but Kait is over ruled. Arriving in town everyone knows they not here to shop and think the group is another group of adventurers who going to die investigating the mine. The odds are three to one against but the group does not take the bet. The townsfolks point out the owner of the Bored Weasel Lukas Grosvenor.

(DM note. USE more highlighters on the information dumps. Cross reference the information dumps. Do not wake up at 4:30 to start smoking the beef brisket if it is raining. Even if the furry alarm clocks want you to wake up.)

Lukas is a sad depressed old human man of ninety-five. He gives more information about the mine and his wife. He asks them to lay a magically persevered daisy chain of daffodils flowers at her grave. He mumbles something about a necklace. (STOP IT WRITER YOU FORGOT to tell the players and are cleaning it up in post. SHUT MUSE.) He also mentions a young fellow Astra Vorn a flower vendor who may have more information.

Vorn is a half elf and is currently unloading the wagon they were going to raid.

Swot, “Kait you were going to steal that elf’s flowers.”

Kait, “Can you say FLOWER POWER. Now peace out before I lock you in a library with dangerous books.”

Vorn is very chatty for a young half elf of seventy-two. He is also the town gossip. Three hours later and close to bed time, they know to expect nightmares on the way up the mountain and while in the abandon mining town. But the nightmares arrived that night. Master Mind and Tigra dream of the mountain falling on them. And it does three days up the trail to the town.

Arriving in Vermeillon is let down. No ghosts eating there faces off. No ghouls climbing out the grave as they place the daffodils on Lukas’ wife grave. No whomping willows beating when they discover the necklace. No evil dangerous books as they explore the mayor’s mansion. Nothing. (DM GRR. Darn pcs passing all the saving throws.) They sleep through the night with only light nightmares. (DM GRR. AGAIN!) And enter the mine the next morning.

Swot and Scaredy Kait are attacked by some bats. Some evil black moss attack Kait and Master Mind which summons a new monster. (NO NO. NO survival check to know the monster. It is brand new. DM totally ignores the monster was also in Volo’s). Kait did see the monster was affected by the torch light and makes sure she keeps one lit.

The Chocolate pudding was delicious. Swot, “But I didn’t get any chocolate pudding.”

Scaredy Kait, “You remoted in. The DM uses chocolate pudding as black pudding monsters.”

DM, “and there are four pudding left in the fridge. Get one next week end. Now where was I.”

After the defeat of black pudding, one Meenlock tries to attack rear of the party. Two attack the front. Kait tosses one torch to the rear and one to front of party scaring off one Meenlock.

Scaredy Kait, “That is why I am called Scaredy Kait.” She gives chase to the fleeing Meenlock. Which dashes around the corner deeper into the chamber. Losing Kait for half a round. Kait arrives puffing.

DM, “Four cigars are puffed to a great glow. Four fuses are lit. And since you are only in dim light. Since you out ran your torch light.”

Master Mind, “What does a Driftglobe do? Light spell. And I said I was following.”

DM counts the four squares of radius. DM, “The bright light prevents the Meenlocks from escaping. The fuses burn very quickly. The Mission Impossible music does not get a chance to play. BOOM. ROLL DEX SAVING THROW.”

Three minutes later. Two Meenlocks are dead by the party. Two are dead by cave in. The group digs out Kait and returns to Candlekeep. A few days later a note from Meepo arrives.

Meepo, “I bought the rights to the town and mine. Found these platinum earrings on a dead body crushed by that natural cave in you mentioned. Would look good on Tigra.”

DM Notes. You will need to cross reference things in the info dumps. I had to look up the total number of Meenlock for the final encounter. That was on page 51. Final encounter is on page 59.


Rotten DM
Candlekeep Mysteries Session 4

Shemshine’s Bedtime Rhyme or

Murder Most Fowl

Days 49 to 50.

Eleasis 14 7 AM to Eleasis 15 Noon.

Gain a level. 10 Downtime days. 80 Gp.

Magic Item Bag of Holding

Start Time 5:48 PM End time 9:08 PM

Pc Killed 3 Monsters Killed 50 Villains Captured 7 Villains Escaped 2 NPC Murdered 2

I had a weak group of five. Roland Ranger 3. Drake Dragonborn Paladin 4. Mistoffelees Sorcerer 4. Tigra barbarian 2 monk 2. Zanifi Wizard 2.

Housekeeping knocks three times. “Meepo’s Minions”

Housekeeping knocks three times. “Meepo’s Minions”

Roland, “go away.”

Housekeeping knocks three times. “Meepo’s Minions”

Mistoffelees gets up and answers the door. The housekeeper in the House of Rest announces due to over crowding this week, they will be moved. But the master sage has given them coupons for free two for one steak night and a free 10 Gp bottle of wine for their trouble.

The dinner goes well except for Roland drinking three-fourths of the bottle. The waiter at the end of meal takes down to the basement of the House of Rest. By a strange trap door with a huge circular wheel door know, is their stuff. Roland climbs 75 feet down the shaft and calls for his stuff.

Waiter, “You want your stuff. Here.” He tosses Roland’s gear down. “Hope nothing broke.” Then whispering, “No Tipping Drunk. Beep.” The others go down the shaft but bundle their stuff up and as the waiter to slowly lower their stuff down. The cellar is lit by fireflies in jars.

Crinkle the kenku caretaker,” Welcome to stacks. Beddy bye time. No time for Bed time snacks. Welcome to stacks. No snacking while stacking.”

Mistoffelees, “Who talked to you that way. What poor Evil Common Speaking person talk to that way.”

Crinkle and the DM look confused at Mistoffelees. And this the last time the DM will mention how the players ragged on Crinkle word choice and the difficulties of playing a race which just repeats what it is heard, but it was fun making the DM lose it.

Crinkle introduces the pcs to Varnyr a sun elf senior scribe who wants them to ring the bell line on the book nook pulley platform when they get to the second floor of the stacks. And take the books to Ebder on the dorm room floor. (Why is there a cat seating on my book? The DM can’t reference the book.)

The first floor has three ring of book shelves. One flush with the wall and the other two in collapsing circles around the balcony. The balcony overlooks the second floor and has the book nook. And (Players want the DM to move on. And mention they have a map.)

The second floor has similar bookshelves but a south door with Bindery and Scriptorium. The stairwell to the dorm floor. (How did the cat unplug the freaking keyboard?) Is 75 feet down in a tight spiral.

Roland, “Why are all these stairs 75 long.?”

DM, “Because the book didn’t give me a clue.” DM will ignore the groans.

The group arrives at the bottom of cellar and Crinkle points out the rooms. Kitchen, their room, Gailby’s room, Ebder, Crinkle, Avowed, K’Tulah, and Varnyr. The group forgets they were supposed to deliver the books. The group is not happy to be crowded into an eight by fifteen dorm room with only two beds. They set up watches. During the third watch Drake hears tinny musical. First from the stairwell. Secondly from the locked kitchen. He mentions this when.

Crinkle, “DROP YOU BEEP AND GRAB YOUR SOCKS YOUR APES. Breakfast time. Rise and shine and with Kellogg Sugar Smacks eat a healthy meal.” Everyone crowds into the kitchen. Varnyr the sun elf chief master sage in charge of the restoration project which has been going on for twenty years. Crinkle the caretaker. Ebder Smallstone a thirty something pessimist and his daughter a young nine-year-old human. K’Tulah a Tabaxi young scribe looking in the stacks for regional folk magic.

Everyone is humming. Including the adventurers. Most try to stop themselves but they can’t. After eating breakfast, the group breaks up to find the source of the tinny music from last night.

Mistoffelees goes to explore the first floor. He climbs on to the huge book (WHICH YOU TOTALLY IGNORED YESTERDAY). It is suspended above the balcony about five feet. It has the words “Be curious” in gold inlay. The chains are old about 600 years old. The chains are weak.

Mistoffelees, “How weak are they?”

DM, “Weak enough I need a weight check from you. How much does your cat weigh and how much is it carrying?”

Mistoffelees, “I never picked a weight. WHO DOES THAT? My pc sheet says I carrying 105 pounds. And Tabaxi generally weight 150.”

DM, “The chains snap! People hear a Tabaxi screaming to its death.”

Mistoffelees, “Feather Fall.”

DM, “Did you stick out your tongue at me?” The heavy books shatters into multiple pieces below. So many pieces it would take twenty years of mending. A certain cat acts innocence as they scamper behind some stacks. Everyone who is still humming arrives. The caretaker and Ebder start cleaning up the mess. Crinkle asks some of the group to help out. Some of the group go clue hunting and Roland questions Varnyr.

Varnyr remembers something 600 years ago about the humming quarantine. At the mention of quarantine Roland gets hot and bothered and yells for everyone. The group and npcs find out that half of the ladder to the entrance has been removed. And. (DM WHAT? SIGH?) And the cats can climb up to the submarine hatch and knock. The waiter from last night opens a peep hole in the hatch and gives them the bad news. The great reader has locked them down. They can solve the humming mystery or (ROLAND QUIT SHOOTING AT THE NPCS!) die. The group calms down, I think.

Varnyr gives a little bit more information about the humming sickness and mentions a book about may exist in the stacks. But due to restoration work, the Dewey decimal system is not going to work. Because the books are arranged in shape, size, and color. Not….

Roland, “Why mess up system is this. Are we still in Candlekeep? No way this is Candlekeep. Because…” Begins a three-minute rant on Candlekeep Lore.

Mistoffelees, “A rules lawyer is bad. But lore lawyer is the worst.” The whole table laughs at Roland. The group splits and explores the cellar. Various clues are found but no spoilers.

The temperature drops to 69 degrees and stays there. Roland starts another lore rant. During the middle of rant Ebder starts humming louder to drown out Roland. The Ebder freezes. But keeps humming. Drake grabs the paralyzed not petrified Ebder to Ebder’s room. Roland, Zanifi, and Mistoffelees follow. The humming has gotten to Mistoffelees and he starts humming a different tune louder than Ebder. This ticks off Zanifi who tries to cast Firebolt but it fails due to the Keep’s protection. Roland fires a round into the steps between them and breaks it up.

Ebder’s daughter is upset because daddy is sick and this didn’t happen until the adventurers shown up. It is their fault. As Drake tries to explore Ebder’s room, Gailby grabs her blanket and doll and threatens the seven-foot high dragonborn. The dragonborn keeps the child at arm distance to protect is knees. Turning up no clue, he leaves the family alone.

Meanwhile Zanifi, Roland, and Mistoffelees explore the Scriptorium and find the firefly breeding room. Exploring the breeding room, Roland finds a tiny door behind one shelve. He eases it open.

The skull of Yowen Pilt floats out. Pilt, “See a mother scything wheat.” BANG. The skull shatters due to Roland’s Nat 20.

DM, “WILL YOU PLEASE QUIT SHOOTING THE CLUES! Take five.” The group finds some clues and get together to share them. They need to find.

Mistoffelees, “The book Shemshine’s Bedtime Rhyme. What it is on the Title of the Chapter.” (DM grumbles about dramatic reveals.) The group spreads out to find the book.

As Roland, Drake, and Mistoffelees go to explore K’Tulah room. She wants out. K’Tulah, “Get out my way. I going to get out here.”

Roland, “So you know a back way out of Missy Kitty.”

K’Tulah, “I am getting out of here.” She ducks under Roland’s arm and starts down the hallway. Roland shoots her. She counters with Thunderwave. He counters with another Nat 20. Painting the walls with brains and blood.

Roland coughing up some brain, “Beep that was your ninth life.” Crinkle dashes into the Ebder’s Room and starts trying to block the door. The group tosses all the rooms except Ebder’s. Finding nothing Roland scares Crinkle into unblocking the door. Crinkle is grabbed by the neck and questioned by Roland but no more clues or help is available. Keeping one hand on Crinkle neck the group loots the kitchen. And starts exploring the second floor. As they are exploring the inner stacks, BANG. (SEE SEE THE DM CAN BLOW NPCS AWAY TOO! WHAT YOU GOING TO DO!)

Gaily drops Roland’s pistol to the floor. She is holding the book. Tigra talks the book out her hands. She and Roland open the book but it will only play the first three parts of the rhyme. They both try to fix it using Roland’s jewelry tools. Tigra gets a blinding headache and quits helping. After seven checks, multiple healing spells, potions, and goodberries the full rhyme starts playing. IT summons Shemshine. An undead shadow.

Tigra stares at the book. Roland goes down on Shemshine’s first swing. Mistoffelees comes close and casts butterflies on the undead. Zanifi casts magic missile. Tigra stares at the book. Drake misses with an attack. Mistoffelees spell hurts Shemshine but wild magic causes Misty to float up 20 feet. Shemshine follows and hits Mistoffelees taking him down below ten hit points. Zanifi casts another magic missile.

Tigra, “We have to crush it.” She rushes to table and tries to flip it. Shemshine Nat 20s Mistoffelees instant death by massive damage.

Shemshine, “BOOM. BEEP. There is one of you lives.” But the group gets their revenge and kill Shemshine. How?


DM Notes. I added a DC 16 Int save to suppress the humming. But since the humming had no mechanical effect, it was no issue.


Rotten DM
Candlekeep Mysteries Session 5

The Price of Beauty Or

Beautiful Heist

Days 50 to 54.

Eleasis 15 7 AM to Eleasis 19 Noon.

Gain a level. 20 Downtime days. 200 Gp.

Magic Item Potion of Hill Giant Strength, Assassin’s Blood * 3, Spell Scroll Greater Restoration, Oil of Slipperiness, Radiance +1 wand of war mage, Spell Scroll of Clairvoyance, Silvered Short sword, Assassin’s Blood (Ingested) A creature subjected to this poison must make a DC 10 Constitution saving throw. On a failed save, it takes 6 (1d12) poison damage and is poisoned for 24 hours. On a successful save, the creature takes half damage and isn't poisoned.

Story Award Hag Fool. The next three hags you meet know what you did. They are not happy you messed up these hags’ business. Let the dm know.

Start Time 5:47 PM End time 8:55 PM

Pc Killed 3 Monsters Killed 50 Villains Captured 7 Villains Escaped 9

I had a strong group of five. Yak Gimble Rogue 1 Wizard 9. Mistoffelees Sorcerer Wild Mage 5. Scaredy Kait monk 5. Master Mind Bard 2 Rogue 3. Swat Barbarian 5.

NO ONE DIED NOT EVEN A MONSTER. This is a first for me.

The group was asked by Meepo to look for books about illusion and conjuration. While in the stacks, they come across Lorris Niss a half-elf looking for their friend Falthrax Loderr a shield dwarf. Falthrax was depressed and talking about taking up the offer from the Price of Beauty book. What the offer was is unknown by Lorris. But if the group finds either Falthrax or the book the avowed wants to know. Minutes later Mistoffelees finds the book. The book has an inlay mirror on the cover and Mistoffelees admires himself and mentions he looks good.

Price of Beauty, “Well yes darling you do look good except for that one flaw. Nothing that a good health day at the Spa of the Price of Beauty. For a mostly free spa day just say yes.”

Mistoffelees, “Yes to what?”

A simmering portal opens in the stacks. A gentle wind is blowing inwards to portal with the light scent of honey suckle and lavender. “Enter the portal for all your beauty questions and other questions.” The group quickly recognizes the depressed dwarf took up the book offer and they decide to take the offer too. They enter the portal.

A three-hour time skip later. The arrive in front of the Price of Beauty Spa. The best spa on the Sword Coast. Spa to Nobles and a few Elite Commoners. A small sign under the huge sign says under new management. Looking at the front lawn on the other side of the well maintain road; the first 100 feet are well maintained. The second hundred feet is slightly maintained as if lawn maintenance has not been regularly done. A disused badminton net is slow slumping to ground. Entering the door, they see Saeth the greeter. Saeth is a blue polo shirt with the company logo and white slacks.

Saeth, “Greetings and welcome to the Price of Beauty Spa. The best spa in all the Sword Coast.” He goes cheerfully on with the spa’s sell pitch and the prices.

Yak, “Enough the yakking, we came by portal and want to know what happen to the shield dwarf Falthrax.”

Saeth, “I sorry sir our customers privacy must be maintained. We do not discuss who uses our services. A portal you say? I will be right back.” He removes the bell from the desk and replaces it with back in 5 minutes sign. He goes into the lounge on the right. The group waits and look around. To the left is the garden and physical training door. A bunch of changing rooms are in the north along with the hot springs’ door. They do hear a muffled shout about Silversong bad business practices.

Saeth returns and offers the group the full day treatment group discount for 8 GP. This includes admission to all open activities. The group notices he is not happy giving the offer. They refuse to changing into the spa robes and sweats and wait on Gold Fine to give them the tour.

Gold Fine a gold Kobold takes them to the garden first. Azirssa of the Red Hair has just finished a PT with hot yoga session. On the ground gasping for air is Jarlaxle Baenre a Drow from Waterdeep. Issio of the Flaming Fist from Baulder’s Gate. She is gentle ragging her customers when half the party chime in they could do better than some weak civilians. Red Hair takes up the challenge.

An hour later of jumping jacks, running in place, squat thrust and chaining jumping with her awaken Peach tree called Peach; Swot, Kait and Master Mind are on the ground sweating and gasping for breath. Red Hair gives Kait a muscle building potion and goes into her sales pitch about improving her performance. Kait asks to know more and is giving a one hour one on one appointment. Meanwhile the Evil Yak has detected magic and discovered Red Hair is using some illusionary magic on herself. As the pitifully weak slowly get to their feet, Gold Fine takes them on the rest of the tour.

As they again refuse to change into robes or sweats, they discover the hot springs are closed. But not really, Gold Fine removes the sign and opens the door. A late middle age couple Oliver and Lisa Douglas are on their second honeymoon. The party gets the feeling Mr. Douglas is not happy with the spa date. Only Yak notices a fey peeking out of the pool. Gold Fine is not happy with Lisa Douglas using all the sulfur bath bombs in the pool.

Entering the lounge in time for lunch they are served a variety of healthy sandwiches and salads. Master Mind is not happy with the wine bar not being open until six PM. Only cucumber water, or carrot juice is being served. They are taken to their rooms and given keys.

Scaredy Kait meets with Red Hair. The offer is …

DM. Okay it is an +2 ASI bump to one stat, or race change, or youth spell. I have no in game way to describe this. It will be effective the morning after the ritual. No there is no catch. Yes, is Adventure League approved. I am not bull shiting. One ritual a night. Who is up for in? And what do what. Kait dexterity. Mistoffelees Charisma. Master Mind dexterity. Swot strength. Okay. I will tell you who is in charge of each ritual.

All through the day the group is given the hard push sells pitch by either Red Hair or Morgananna the business woman. Some of people attending the spa are customers, others are business people trying to sell Morgananna spa supplies. The group finds out ten years ago the women bought the spa from Silversong but since half the patrons were loyal to Silversong the business lost half their customer base. So, it was a five-star spa is barely holding on to the four-star rating.

The first night Yak being the evil suspicious and well over leveled for the module casts something to keep people out of his room. And he tries to follow the ritual in the spa but his spell times out. And when he sends his spider familiar to spy on the rest of the ritual Morgananna steps on the spider.

Morning of Second Day. Scaredy Kait has going a massage, haircut, and make over by Ilmar. Ilmar tries to talk with Scaredy Kait but is shut down by Red Hair. The ritual has worked. Some of the party does not believe even when the DM swears too it. Later in the afternoon, the group does discover the Fey Cyrena is in charge of the hot springs. She warns them the three sisters are hags and not to trust them. Mistoffelees is shut down by the two living statues guarding the living quarter and ritual studio. Yak is able to steal a hair from Morgananna to scry on her during the second ritual.

Just before the second ritual Gold Fine is send spraying insect spray in the hot spring and massage rooms. And around the building. During the second ritual with Mistoffelees, Yak scries successfully taking notes. Glitter a white scale kobold is busted by Kait as Glitter was trying to bust into Yak’s room. Important Fact. Glitter is Tiefling from Waterdeep a member of the Jewelers Guild. He wanted to be taller but he didn’t like the result so he renounced the gift and tried to tell on the hags. They cursed him with being smaller. He knows all the paintings are being held in the studio.

The morning of the Third Day. The ritual has worked again and Mistoffelees is more charismatic. Again, Ilmar is shut down this time by Morgananna. The group loafs around the spa and find out the shrine was shut down because the priest to Sune either quit or was drown by the fey in the hot springs. The Third ritual takes place and the other characters sleep peacefully through the night.

The morning of the Fourth Day. Master Mind is more dexterous. Ilmar does whisper into Master Mind about the hags. Swot gets cold feet and announces he needs a nice massage to think it over. The group decides they all need massages.

(Finally, they are getting the clues.) Around nine in the morning they talk with Ilmar who is Dusk of the Harpers who is trying to bring down the Hags but he has been cursed not to leave the grounds. He is willing to help the group. The question is assault or sneak.

(DM NOTES. After ten minutes and me summing up the information they have. The group decides to sneak the paintings and take them ALL with them. NO keep their paintings and destroy the rest. No. SIGH. OK THE GROUP DECIDES TO SNEAK THE PAINTINGS ALL OF THEM and take them away to be handle later.)

Swot informs Morgananna the group will be checking out around noon, a please have a get away coach. UM a coach to drive them into town. He tips an extra night to the bill. Dusk arrives in Mistoffelees room at 11:50 AM. Master Mind disguises himself as Dusk. Yak dimension doors to behind the shrine and ninjas over to the servant tower peeking into the window. 11:55 Gold Fine is summoned to take the little luggage of the Price of Beauty swag bags to the coach.

Noon. The group leaves their room and Kait casts without a trace. They ignore the lunch summons.

12:01 PM. Master Mind waves to lunch crowd and mentions he will be cleaning the massage rooms.

12:02 PM. Kait, Mistoffelees, and Swot slowly, calmly, passively, wave to lunch crowd and enter the massage rooms.

12:03 PM. The group exit the back door.

12:04 PM Master Mind bluffs the two living statues and enters the servant town but the gargoyles don’t buy the rest of the story.


Round one. Yak Misty Steps into the studio and checks for traps. Yak, “CLEAR and stairway covered.”

Mistoffelees casts hypnotic pattern and freezes the gargoyle and servant in the first room. He runs and opens the door to the studio but can not open his bag of holding.

Master Mind rushes into the studio and secures four paintings.

Swot rushes into the studio and secures the other four paintings.

Scaredy Kait opens the bag of holding, “Fumbling under pressure, are we?” Mistoffelees hisses at him.

Round two.

Yak dashes out both doors, “Back Door or to the side? What did we say?”

Mistoffelees, “Out side to your left. Around the building. CASUALLY!”

Swot shoves his four paintings in and casually walks out of the tower.

Master Mind shoves his four paintings into the bag and walks out the tower.

Kait closes the bag and goes up the tower to look for more.

DM. “I said there were eight paintings. And you changing the plan. AGAIN. Do you want to do that really?”

Kait slowly walks out the tower.

Mistoffelees slowly walks out the tower.

Round three to eight. The group casually walks around the building and enter the coach.

Round nine and ten. The group makes a successful getaway.

Aftermath. The spa was raided by the Harpers. No trace of the hags, the greeter or the spa mascot were not found. Six constructs were destroyed. The staff were release and given their paints.

DM NOTES. Add the +2 to your stat. Your stat can increase to 22. BUT on 5-8-2022 the curse is active. The stat you increase drops two and can NEVER be raised above 18. Not by a WISH and NOT by Tome. Unless AL gives me more guidance.


Rotten DM
Candlekeep Mysteries Session 6

Book of Cylinders Or

Something Fishy

Days 55 to 62.

Eleasis 20 7 AM to Eleasis 27

Gain a level. 20 Downtime days. 240 Gp.

Magic Item Chime of Opening, Lantern of Revealing, Serpent Scale Armor page 98, Serpent’s Fang page 98.

Start Time 5:50 PM End time 8:33 PM

I had an average group of five. Mistoffelees Wild Mage Sorcerer 6. Scaredy Kait Tabaxi monk 6. Tigra Barbarian 3 Monk 2. Swot Barbarian 6. Billy Cleric 6.

Our heroes were thinking of getting some sea food for lunch when Lunch Lady Pelk says no seafood. Seems their supplier has been over run by monsters unknown. Consult the book of cylinders for more information. The Cylinders are not much help. As the first cylinder tells of grippli being crab farms for the Crusty Crab who sell their product exclusively to Candlekeep. The other cylinders need special mud or clay for a clean transfer of text. However, Mitor Jans has been drafted by Candlekeep to help out our heroes. Captain Jans is not happy because three years ago, he was under bid and lost the crab account. He will great bellowing and snarkying takes the group and drops them off at the Crusty Crab trading post.

The Crusty Crab trading post has been over ran by refugees. Since the group does not speak Primordial and the Grippli don’t speak Common, they tick off a Grippli cop who takes them the Pond SCUM Mother.


MUMBLING PLAYER, “JUST GET ON with it. This lack of communication and bad snacks are not making for a good game.”

DM, “Just eat the snacks, I made bought pastry dough and not Philly Dough. And quit eating the play dough!”

The Pond Mother spits into her hands and rubs mud into your hair and ears. Suddenly you can understand Grippli.

BOOK, “HEY DM. WHAT ARE YOU DOING! They are not supposed to get that to after the adventure.”

DM, “SHUT IT. It will be cool. “

BOOK, “You will be sorry.”

The Pond Mother, “A small band of Yuan-ti who worship the Scaled Mother asked to join the village about a month ago. I said yes. Three weeks ago, a Yuan-ti priest and his band who worshipped a different god, raid the village. Killing most of the warriors, and some of the Scaled Mother Yuan-ti. About half the village fled with me to the trading post.”

Swot, “So you fled with NO warriors. Yeah right. And everyone left here a noncombatant. I have been stopped on by a dragon. King Kong has knocked me out my biplane. The DM wife has hit me with a frying a pan.”

Mistoffelees, “Biplane?”

Tigra, “Shut he is on a roll. And it may go somewhere.”

Swot, “And after a long rest. I was okay. Up to full health. I want some of your warriors. I want a map of the village and the surrounding area. And I want you to pay the schmuck Captain to take us up the coast and drop us off at the village.”

DM looks at book. Books laughs at DM. Book, “You had to give the language first. Schmuck DM.”

The Pond Mother agrees to the adventurers’ terms. The map she draws has Crab Maze which is the crab farm. The Break water which keeps the crabs out the village and helps form a small sea pond for safe swimming. The swamp village with important locations on it. The Brood Ponds where are where the Grippli eggs are. The small fresh water stream which flows into the swamp and upstream the old village and temple to the Scaled Mother. She also releases the last four warriors to help the group. The group gathers the troops and board ship.

The Captain has Seaman Bob guide the jolly boat (DM LOOKS AT PLAYERS. NO COMMENTS.) to the nears Crab Maze platform. The group zig zags their way toward the breakwater. Only killing four emperor sized crabs along the way.

Scaredy Kait, “Why assault our way through the whole force. Sneak and pass without a trace.”

Swot, “The main people should have taken over the temple. Let’s sneak up the small stream to the old village and raid the temple first.”

DM looks at book and map. DM “100-foot squares!” DM reads and reads and reads some more.

The group low crawls over the breakwater. Swims underwater to the docks.

Book, “That is 400 feet. They can’t hold their breath that long.”

DM, “Shut it. I am summing up.”

At the docks they look around and slowly swim upstream passing most of the village and only tripping a small alarm at the Brood pools. They swiftly murder the Yuan-ti but ONLY DUE TO BAD EVIL LOW ROLLING DICE. Just before the village they get out the water. They slowly approach the temple and hear chanting.

Grippli Warrior, “That is not chanting to the Scaled Mother. This bad.”

The group charges and with good spell tactics. (AND BAD DICE ROLLS.)

DICE, “HELP. HELP. OUR DM does not like us. He threw us back into the Halloween bucket. Rescue us.”

The group defeat the evil Yuan-ti and save the good Yuan-ti. With the defeat of their leader priest, the other evil Yuan-ti flee.

DM Notes. I have learned if someone points out a common sense or logical thing which should be available, I just roll with it. The four warriors did help as one player had to leave before the boss battle. The mud giving them the language was a small mistake too. The Map on page 96 should have swamp icons on the lower roll across to the east end part of map. My players did ask to land on dry ground.


Rotten DM
Candlekeep Mysteries Session 7

Sarah of Yellowcrest Manor Or

630 Miles to Waterdeep

Days 62 to 96.

Eleasis 27 7 AM to High Harvest Tide.

Gain a level. 20 Downtime days. 240 Gp.

Magic Item Potion of Superior Healing, Counterspell Scroll, Potion of Watchful Rest, Potion of Greater Healing, Chime of Opening.

Start Time 5:53 PM End time 8:49 PM

PC Killed 3 Monsters Killed 78 Villains Captured 12 Villains Escaped 11

I had a borderline average group of five. Tigra Barbarian 3 Monk 3. Yak Rogue 1 Wizard 9 (he who should not be in the chapter.) Swot Barbarian 6 Path of Elk Rogue 1. Scaredy Kait Tabaxi Monk 6 Fighter 1. Master Mind Bard 3 Rogue 3.

The group is hiding out in the stacks due to a certain barbarian getting drunk the night before and running up some the trainees pants up the flag pole. They are looking for a hang over cure when a book falls off the shelf and hits Tigra on top of the head. She punches the book. The book hits Master Mind in the face and falls open. Cry and Moaning can be heard coming from the book. Master Mind tries to close the book but it slaps it hands.

Three days later. The group has discovered Sarah of Yellowcrest Manor was maid murdered by Lord Viallis. Lord Viallis also murdered his family and some other servants. But they do have the location of the manor, Viallis’ businesses address, and Squire Vecken house. Problem one is the murders took place in Waterdeep and Waterdeep’s laws don’t play well with commoners accusing nobles. Problem Two the book he used was NOT in the CARD CATALOG Kait, so it a very valuable book. Plus, it summons demons. Problem three this is a triple secret mission, and we ain’t telling no one here about it. Problem four how far is from Candlekeep? (Let see. 120 miles to Baldur’s Gate. Baldur’s Gate is 750 miles from Waterdeep. 750 -120 is 630 miles. It took 12 minutes to find out that information on the weave.) Problem five Master Mind’s boots pinch and he is not walking that far.

Many solutions are thought of and the group gets a great discount of 4 gp each to hire a coach. (Yeah, the DM now knows you ripped off the Greyhound Coach Line.) A few days later, the Greyhound ELK route pulls into Waterdeep. The group finds the main tannery and Master Minds gets into a good gossip session while buying leather patches for his leather armour. The accountant Faerl is arriving tomorrow for his biweekly inspection and profit collection at noon. They discover Sir Vecken has been knighted but has led a hard life in the five years of the murder of his girl Sarah. Arriving at Vecken’s house they are invited in. Vecken looks older than his 22 years. And he frequently mentions the adventures the group has had with him. Simply put Vecken had too many blows to the helmet. He visits Sarah’s grave in the City of the Dead every week. The Yellowcrest family remains were buried in Greenfast. REMEMBER THAT KAIT. As he has done his information dump, he invites them to spend the night. (DM writes Vecken will not appear in the rest of the module.) Yak sends Vecken a dream about Sarah wanting revenge and justice. (DM takes five. Erases the previous note.)

At five thirty the party can hear Vecken doing PT. At six thirty they are rudely awakened again.

Sir Vecken, “Get your lazy selves up. I was sent a sign last night. We are on a mission from gawd. And you are my posse. Eat your bachelor chow. And drink your coffee.” The coffee had been on the boil since five thirty that morning and even the American Navy would say it was strong. Vecken takes charge where necessary but lets the posse lead. During the morning, the get some information dumps from the new butler of the Manor and the Accountant. With Vecken is a high boiling raging simmer this information is gotten with out combat. YAK. At one PM the group pulls out from Waterdeep and arrives with out sleep or rest or stopping at the rest area at seven in the morning at Greenfast where Lord Viallis now lives. (Path of ELK saves the time.)

Arriving in the small PEACEFUL village, for no reason they stop at the barn.

Yak, “It is the first place on the map if we come from Waterdeep DM. Plus we need to stable our horses.” (DM Groans. Thinks. Vecken is on mission from Gawd.)

While ordering the group’s horses stabled, Sir Vecken mentions he is on a mission from gawd. Fred NPC aka Cultist aka lookout, aka first to be dead, “Try the tavern.” The group leave their horse but as they approach a small apple orchard they dash in and come notes. Yak and Kait will sneak into the barn because Fred was acting suspicious. Tigra will be overwatch. And the rest will head for the tavern.

Sneaking in with an over 27 on the sneak roll, the evil adventurers listen into private remarks. Fred sends Vicky down to tell Lord Viallis that Vecken and posse is here. The evil adventurers mark down the secret location of the cult of the burnt tongue. Kait shadow teleports back to the apple grove and rallies the troops. The group attacks. With Sir Vecken bring up last place because he is out shape and.

Yak, “No you generally make friendly NPCS go last DM.”

As Vecken is out of shape the group kills most of the cult but Lord Viallis is able to teleport away with a scroll. Having no proof of the murders.

Scaredy Kait, “WAIT a minute you said Viallis confessed to murdering Sarah before he teleported away!”

DM, “NOW you listen to me. One off the cuff remark you remember. But where bodies are buried and what book is what, you don’t? Sigh.”

As Sir Vecken is knight of Waterdeep, and gotten a confession Lord Viallis is placed on wanted list for Waterdeep. His businesses are taken over and given to Sir Vecken to run. The village of Greenfast is mostly happy the group destroyed the cult of the burnt tongue but are unhappy that some of the town kids were killed in combat. Other town kids were on the to be sacrificed list along with some merchants but they were saved by the group and shaken down for loot. Um. I mean returned to their grateful families.

Yak on the trip home makes a copy of the special book and keeps the original. Candlekeep will waive any more fees for horses or other things as long as the story does not demand it.

BOOK. “Why did you put the entrance to cult under the barn?”

DM, “Sir Vecken was on a mission from gawd. And it just made sense at the time. I must write better cross reference notes in the book.”


Rotten DM
Candlekeep Mysteries Session 8

Lore of Lurue Or

Children’s Story Time

Day 96.

High Harvest Tide 0800 to 0805.

Gain a level. 20 Downtime days. 240 Gp.

PC Killed 3 Monsters Killed 83 Villains Captured 12 Villains Escaped 12

Magic Items. Ring of Shooting Stars, Charm of Animal Conjuring

Story Award. Barney is Coming. You stole a middle age woman’s tablecloth. And released her animals. Lois Lane becomes a night hag later in life. If you meet a night hag there is 10% it is Lois. And she is not happy.

I had an average group of five and a drop in the last combat. Yak Rogue 1 wizard 9. Scaredy Kait Tabaxi Monk 7 Cleric 1. Swot Barbarian 6 Rogue 2. Master Mind Bard 4 Rogue 3 Tigra Barbarian 3 Monk 4. Riley Monk 5.

Meepo has asked the group to research unicorns. While in the stacks, a purple book with a black unicorn falls from the stacks. It opens to the first page.

Jax reads aloud, “This is the story of an Evil Wizard Name Yak. Who was corrupting three boys of his own. They were four dudes living together. But they were lonely! This is story of a lovely Tabaxi name Tigra. Who was bringing up three very furry girls. All had hair like their mommy. The youngest one in bows! SORRY SORRY. WRONG STORY TURN PAGE.” He turns the page begins anew, “Space is big! Really really big. Join the adventures of the SPELLJAMMER NO PRIZE redshirts! For their three-hour tour. Starring Ensign Jak, Ensign Tigra, Ensign Swot, Ensign Scaredy Kait, Ensign Master Mind and Ensign (insert name of PC.) SORRY SORRY WRONG STORY. TURN PAGE.”

Jax turns the page. SORRY NOT SORRY SPEAKS THE BOOK. Our story starts during the time leading up to the winter solstice on the final night of Uktar in the year 374 DR. A nearly full moon rises behind wispy clouds, as a star-speckled sky darkens against a fading horizon. It seems silent and still, here in the heart of the forest. But to anyone who knows the forest well, that silence can be misleading.” The book glows and the pcs are sucked into the book.

DM, “Don’t say it.”

Kait, “Well that sucked.”

DM. Sigh.

The group has been both transport about 630 miles east of Candlekeep and from High Harvest Tide to the Winter Solstice. They meet and greet three green Satyrs from the frat house Pie Pie and More Pie. At least that what the party thinks. As the frat brothers are nine sheets to the wind and the evil pixies have stolen their keg. Or was it kegs. They don’t really remember but agree to follow the frats if they give them directions to Candlekeep.

Along the way Tigra befriends four wolves. Kait heals them but Tigra becomes the den mother. Both of dogs, and frats. Following the drunken Satyrs, they come to the scene of the well not really a battle but a drunken frat party. The evil pixies have placed the kegs into the middle branches of the trees. Kait goes to get the kegs.

The Tree, “Get your filthy cold paws off my bark you darn cat!”

Kait, “Sorry but they know the way to our house.”

Feynor, “Those frats don’t even remember they are supposed to recruit people to keep the Enchanted Pool from being corrupted from the Alpha Betas. Here give them this sleeping potion so they don’t wake up drunk. Looks like you the GOOD Adventures.”

Jak, “I would not say.”

Feynor, “As I was saying the GOOD ADVENTURES ACCEPTED THE QUEST. And proceeded North to Enchanted Pool. They did not pick from the magic mushrooms. But did accept the limited used hill giant potion.” As the group moves north, they hear Feynor, “Darn amateur actors not knowing their lines.” The group enters into the woods.

Unfortunately, the author was not able to secure the rights to the music so we will not have a musical number.

About three hours and at midnight they come across an acre of magic mushrooms.

Kait, “Hey Shroomie. Lots and Lots of magical mushrooms.”

Jak, “That is my campaign Kait. And those rooms are little houses. I wouldn’t eat those.”

Kait, “I didn’t hear that.”

The group befriends an old fey who tells they must protect the Enchanted Pool from the Alpha Beta and get to the pool before midnight of the next night. A little bit of whining un nice talking to fey gets old fey Wheeldoli to come along. He makes a hammock in Tigra’s hair and falls asleep.

Coming to a cobweb covered path, they torch it. And the end of path is four vary nervous Ettercaps who agree the path looks much better and unnecessary flowing of their blood is not needed. (I didn’t even finish describing the path before they group torched it.)

About 0300 they come across a small farmer hut, with a good looking well and well maintain barn.

Master Mind, “well that is suspicious. Kait and Tigra check it out.” Kait discovers the well is mostly dry well except for the Grick Alpha which nearly eats Kait as a snack but Tigra and the wolf pack take it down but the all wolves die. (NO, I did not target the dogs on purpose, all the random rolls had me attacking the puppies.) The group takes a short rest as Tigra buries the doggies and Kait licks her wounds. Meanwhile, Jax sends his spider to check out the barn and finds it is a menagerie with various animals and a dryad. His spider climbs down the chimney and sees a middle-aged lady has tied up two dryads and has stuffed them into a pot. She is sprinkling with 2 tablespoons of chili powder, 2 tablespoons paprika, 2 tablespoons of. Sorry, that is part of the woman’s dry rub recipe.

Master Mind and Kait comes up with a brilliant plan. They will be door to door animal feed salesmen. This plan could have work if Master Mind stuck with plan and didn’t try to charm person her the moment, she cracked the door.

Lois slams the door, “Go away. I am calling Sheriff Andy. Trying to work your charms on a lonely woman.” The group can hear a rotary phone being dialed.

Master Mind, “What is a rotary phone?” DM, “Google it.”

Lois loudly, “Andy. Two strange people are trying to break into my house. Could you send Deputy Barney around. And give him his one round for his bazooka.”

Swot getting tired and wanting combat charges through the door.

Swot, “I only wanted to break the door latch.”

DM, “26 on an Athletics Check. I repeat a 26 on an Athletics Check.”

As the fragments of the door are still bouncing off the walls, Lois covers the two dryads with a tablecloth.

Swot, “What under the tablecloth.”

Lois, “My breakfast. Um I mean members of my breakfast club.” Swot removes the tablecloth. Swot, “Looks like they not happy.” Lois snatches the tablecloth away from Swot and covers the dryads again.

Lois, “Of course they not happy you broke down the door and interrupted their resting state. It takes about three hours in brine. UM. You woke them up.”

Kait getting tired of the word play casts darkness and attacks Lois blooding her nose. Lois responses by plane shifting away. The group frees all the dryads and animals and are reminded they need to get to the enchanted well before this midnight. The group moves on north finding a nice rest area by the river which they ignore and continue north.

Time shifts fast forward. They move on to find some partiers barbecuing some animals and making pinatas. The group low crawls pass the barbecue but it takes four hours. It is now moon rise with five hours to go. An hour later they see the enchanted pond with the Alpha Betas dancing around it and tossing in trash.

Time shifts forward.

It is now 2330, the Alpha Betas have shifted into their Werewolves forms. The group charges.

Time shifts forward again. (DM IT IS THE BOOK.) It is 2359. Swot goes to flank the werewolves. Two werewolves attack the party. Yak summons a fire element and tries to cook two werewolves. Thunder and Lighting very very frighting starts happening. The pool spits forth an evil glowing black unicorn who attacks? (DM counts minis. Where that d12?)

The Lurue Unicorn attacks Swot dropping him in two attacks. Swot transforms into a werewolf and charges the party. Tigra charges the unicorn. Riley charges the unicorn and gets next to it. The unicorn wounds Riley. Jax casts not a fireball but it drops Riley wounds a unicorn and drops most of the werewolves down to half their hit points.

Riley rises as a werewolf and charges the party. The unicorn horns in the guts of Tigra who transforms into a werewolf and charges the party.

BOOK, “Thunder and Lighting Very Frighting breaks overhead. A jagged stroke of white lightning originates from the moon and strikes the unicorn, transforming it into a true, living avatar of Lurue the Unicorn with a silvery mane, shimmering hooves, and a spiraling horn. She gives a thankful nod and bends down to dip her horn, now cleansed of corruption, in the pool. She then high kicks the adventures into the head.”

The group vision blurs. The scene blurs. Suddenly they are spit out on the floor on the stacks of Candlekeep. The book closes. The ones that died did not die but only have one hit point left. The other have their wounds. Jax takes the book and hides it behind a couple of books.

The End.


Rotten DM
Candlekeep Mysteries Session 9

Kandlekeep Dekonstruktion Or

Book Burners

Day 98.

Marpenoth 1, 1492 0800 to 0830 and 4 seconds.

Gain a level. 20 Downtime days. 240 Gp.

Time 5:38 PM to 6:50 PM. Second fastest game.

PC Killed 4 Monsters Killed 94 Villains Captured 12 Villains Escaped 12

Magic Items. Scroll of Teleportation Circle. NO Ring of Telekinesis, it melted. I wonder why?

I had an average group of five. Yak Rogue 1 Wizard 9. Tigra Monk 6 Barbarian 3. Scaredy Kait Monk 8 Cleric 1. Master Mind Bard 5 rogue 3. Swot Barbarian 7 rogue 2.

0800 Marpenoth a light drizzle is dusting the faces and bodies of our adventurers. Various avowed are dashing around the Court of Air. Suddenly Buron avowed acolyte crashes into Master Mind. Buron gasps in fear and drops dead of a massive heart attack. Dropping a black book called Kandlekeep Dekonstruktion written Isajar a former Head Avowed from five hundred years ago. The book has various arcana or math formulas and talks about the Barn Door. (Note I stole some NASA power points and printed them off. With some good scissor work I pasted those into the prop book.) Isajar hate the letter “C” and loved preserving books.

(Players are not caring the body of the poor avowed is growing cold and getting wet because of spell selection.)

0805. A massive earthquake hits Candlekeep. Swallowing Buron’s dead body and trapping two of the pcs. After recovering the two pcs, they start making their way to the Barn Door. (NOTE players point out the poster map does not include this building.) T minus 55 minutes.

Yak, “I heard a beep what is that beep.”

DM, “You heard a beep. But the pcs didn’t”

Swot, “Why are you hiding that kitchen timer DM?”

DM, “That is for me to know.”

0810. The pcs arrive at the Barn Door. For the pass two hundred years the building has been under reconstruction or higher ups have been embezzling funds set aside for reconstruction. Master Mind uses his chime of opening while some of the pcs are discussing knock spells or kicking in the door. They find three cultists with strange names and one master sage who tries to use fireball but is not only countered spell but lore lawyered out of doing it. After harsh questioning from Yak and getting no information from the survivors. The survivors don’t make it.

0828. The group heads down stairs. The door to the Barn Door closes and locks.

0829. The group is in the basement with four strangely shaped chimneys. Yak summons an earth elemental spirit to beat on the highly polished chimneys. The loud pounding alerts anything in the basement. Yak then stone shapes a small passageway in the ceiling. Huge amounts of oil pour down on the party covering them all.

(DM takes off his glasses. Sighs. Recovers glasses. Reads page 134. Skully crawls under the DM’s chair and sighs.)

Yak giggles. The doors are pulled open outwards. Some huge silver fish insects, or three skitterwidget, a few cultists, and Stonky Notopper attack the party.

0830. The party kills two of the skitterwidgets. Oil still is pouring down the party.

(DM. Specific beats lore.)

0830 and 4 Seconds. Stonky casts fireball due his plan being foiled.

BOOM! A MOSTLY finish rocket blasts off out Candlekeep going down range toward Waterdeep. Books are falling everywhere. Meanwhile in the basement, Master Mind becomes number three from death due to massive damage. Death saves for everyone else in initiative order. Yak two fails and one save. Swot two fails and two saves. Kait, one save and one fail. Tigra one fail and one save.

TABLE. NAT 20 TIGRA SAVES. She then feeds a potion of healing to Kait. Kait starts healing people. (DM BOO.) Isn’t having those automatic potions from Adventure League great? Skully skulks under the DM’s chair pouting due to the lack of kills.

Note Master Campaign Catalogue nixes the ring. And the lore lawyer has a point about the no fires in Candlekeep lore being hugely broken in this module.


Rotten DM
Candlekeep Mysteries Session 10

Zikran’s Zephyrean Tome

Day 98 - 106.

Marpenoth 1, 1492 0900 and 4 seconds to Marpenoth 8, 8 AM

Gain a level. 20 Downtime days. 240 Gp.

Time 7:20 PM to 10:48 PM.

PC Killed 4 Monsters Killed 107 Villains Captured 12 Villains Escaped 17

Magic Items potions of Healing * 2, Iron bands of Bilarro, Boots of Winterlands, Blue Alchemy Jug no poison or acid but 1 gallon of hot tea, Orange Alchemy Jug no poison or acid but 1 gallon of soy sauce, Archmage spell book, Censer of Controlling Air Elementals summons Gazre-Azam a djinni.

I had an average group of five. Tigra Barbarian 3 Monk 7. Yak Rogue 1 Wizard 10. Scaredy Kait Monk 9 Cleric 1 Master Mind Bard 6 Rogue 3. Swot barbarian 7 rogue 3.

Digging themselves out of burnt-out basement and yelling “we didn’t do it. We were never there. And you can’t prove anything because we burnt all the evidence.” The group flees toward the house of rest. Suddenly Yak is hit by a falling book with a deep blue cover and strong trunk hasp latch. Think something which would normally go on a door not a book. As Yak and Master Mind try to jimmy it open a cloud of smoke appears out of boor.

Gazre-Azam, “Greetings I am the genie of the book.” The Djinni looks around. “Why are there books falling from the sky? Why are you all cover in soot? Why?”

Yak, “As I am your new owner, I command you to ignore that stuff and get on with your tale.”

Gazre-Azam, “Ok since it looks like you need to beat feet and hide out for a few days. Bad wizard name Zikran shove me in book. Bad wizard forces me to teach it. Bad Wizard wanted floating castles, elemental slaves, and chocolate 78% coca chocolate. Bad Wizard last located 3 days on a Sword Coast beach. Kill or get bad Wizard to release me. See map. Good day sir.” The book shrinks and slides into Yak’s breast pocket.

Three days. (Swot um hum) One and a half days later and a long shower. The group finds a sea cave. Enter the sea cave they discover two drown half-elf bodies. The bodies were drowned while they were sleeping.

Abbot, “Who is the person who is waking me from my long rest.”

Costello, “I don’t know who. But.”

Kait, “Hey stupid. You fell asleep when the tide came in.”

Abbot, “You don’t get to call my Friend stupid. Only I can call him that.”

Costello, “HEY ABBOT! ABBOT! ABBOT! We dead. We are. Are. Are.”

Abbot, “Well spit it out Stupid.”

Swot, “I think you both stupid.”

Costello, “That not nice. But ABBOT ABBOT! We G.. We GG.. WE ARE GHOSTS!”

Abbot, “That another fine thing you gotten me into. Hey Costello do remember what ghosts do? And are you tired of your feet being wet.”

Costello, “They look ugly like your last girl.”

Abbot, “Hey that not nice.”

Kait, “It would be nice if you guys would finish.”

Abbot, “Shut it. I will shut it. What do Ghosts do Costello?”

Costello, “They Try to possess adventurers.”

Abbot, “Well don’t just stand there getting wet. Possess someone.” The two ghosts posses Kait and Swot. Both look at each other and evilly grin.

Abbot Swot, “EAT ME. EAT ME.”

Costello Kait, “EAT ME. EAT ME.”

Both double dashes deeper into the cave complex. Throw the doors open into the dragon’s lair and demand the dragon eat them. The dragon tries to oblige. (But the watermelon dice loves Kait.) A few rounds of combat and two rules checks later. The group escapes with the loot and clues. One ghost is dead. The other is inside the dragon. (Never had three possessions in one night.)

Three days. (Swot um hum) One and a half days later they at the base of the mountain mostly ready to climb to the cloud giant’s castle. Lucky a wandering merchant were able to sell them cold weather gear. It takes three (Um. SHUT IT SWOT) days to journey up the mountain. Fighting furry winged kobolds and yeti. The final forty or so feet up a chimney does give exhaustion for little reason.

The storm giant’s castle is no more. Just a tower mostly collapsed. Smart tactics allow Yak and Master Mind to scout out the tower. Lots and lots of ghosts STORM GIANT GHOSTS are still in the tower. But they ignore the adventurers. They still ignore.


Master Mind explores the two top floors of the tower. But trips an alarm when entering the basement. He flees from the basement and does not notice the mephits and air elementals do not follow. The group take a cold breath and charges the basement because the djinni says the bad wizard is there.

Being very very stupid (I gave the INT 20 Wizard a 10% chance of sticking around. He did.) The wizard’s ego does not let him flee even with over whelming odds. Result dead wizard. The breaks the lock on the book freeing the djinni.

Gazre-Azam, “I give you one wish.”

Master Mind, “I wish we had all the loot and were at the base of the mountain.”

“Granted,” Gazre-Azam.


Six days (um Hum Swot) um Three days later they return to Candlekeep.


Rotten DM
Candlekeep Mysteries Session 11

The Curious Tale of Wisteria Vale

Days 106 to 112

Marpenoth 8, 8 AM to Marpenoth 14, 8 AM

Gain a Level. 20 Downtime Days. 1,600 GP.

Magic Item Dusk of Disappearance, Cli Lyre Instrument of the Bards

Start Time 5:56 PM End Time 9:28 PM.

Pc Killed 5 Monsters Killed 114 Villains Captured 12 Villains Escaped 18


DM, “Shut it. You just hinted at stuff. And I had you just highlight two important facts. And write an important note on the first page.”

BOOK, “You should have read me better.”

DM, “Shut it. You should bold or change fonts.” SLAMS BOOK. Puts coffee cup on it.

I had a weak group of four. Ben Tennyson Genie Warlock 1. Divine Soul 9 Stars Druid 2 Too much multi classing 4. Scaredy Kait Tabaxi Monk 10 Cleric 1. Master Mind Bard 8 Rogue 3. Swot Barbarian 7 Rogue 4.

Don Meepo has ask the pcs to hunt down Quill an infamous bard who was last seen in Wisteria Vale five years ago. However, two years a Gloom Stalker Frost Giant name Sandoval wiped out everyone there and burned the village down. Yelling “Don’t Call me a PET.” What this means is unknown. But a fictional account of the life of Quill is rumored to provide hints that Quill escaped and where he is hiding out.

Book, “COFFEE STAINS ON MY COVER. THAT NOT”. DM slams book shut and goes get more coffee.

Quill’s book is found in 822.33 section of the stacks. Ben skims over the play and mentions it is a knock of the Princess Bride Indigo Montoya part. But has swapped out the six fingered man with a crystal dagger.

Book, “IT does not. Ben just skimmed it. And the dagger is not mentioned in any of the acts.”

DM, “Nor is it written anyone gives the crystal dagger to party. Go read pages 147 and 148. It just hints it.” Slams the book and shoves into the book bag.

When Ben slams the play book he accidently activates a portal which sweeps the pcs into a Demiplane. The season and time has change from tropical storm rain to spring when the blossoms fall. They are about 200 yards from a small village and are being approach by a black lady wearing a cook’s apron and mumbling.

Georgia, “Candy yams, Cheese Stuffed peppers, Salted Eggs, Ham burgers.”

Kait pushing her glasses up on her nose, “I like sweet potatoes which are just like candy yams.”

Book pushing their glasses up on their nose, “Well actually, I just check the internets and…” DM zips up the book bag.

Georgia, “Who are you strangers?”

Master Mind, “I am a friend of Quill we partied together in bard college and we are looking for him.”

Georgia sighs, “More guests for tonight’s party

Book, “I am telling the wife you included her in the story.”

DM, “Shut up. I also forgot which of the players pinned her named on the NPC.”

Georgia, “Well I know bards just go to college to party. I will add more stuff to the menu. The party starts a 7 PM. Dress nicely. And bring a present. The Market is open today. And so is Silks and Soles.” Glaring at Kait, “And if you make a pun the DM will give you disadvantage the rest of the evening.” The cook points out the locations and makes notes on her shopping list.

The group wanders into the market place asking various questions about Quill and the party. But the party only gets information about the party. So they visit the tavern and tick off the owners who are not invited to the party and are put out that Quill has not entertained at the tavern for two weeks. While ordering outfits for the party, they discover a beholder called Renekor has been visiting Quill for the last two weeks and is the person who suggested the party. Checking out the rest of village they discover most of the commoners know they are in the matrix um Demiplane and are here just to support Quill. But they don’t know they are robots. The group decides to rain the mansion early.

Some funny stuff getting in the door happens but it was only funny if you were there. As you are reading this. Chances are you were not there. If you were there, you can laugh.

Entering the main hall, they find it empty. Some cooking smells waft through the air making the group hungry for the sandwiches Kait brought from work. The group enter the main lounge. A happy fire is placed in the fire place. Two deep Lazy boys are facing it with a small end table with an expensive brandy decanter on it. A forest painting is the south wall. The villain of the play faces the party with a deep Indiana forest behind him.

Book, “LIES. It.” DM ignores the book.

As Ben Tennyson gets nears the painting, the forest light from the painting bathes the pcs in a spring time glow and.

Book, “Hey I wrote EXAMINES THE FIRGURE and.”

DM, “SHUT UP. You also wrote on page 155. And I quote Any creature that touches one of these paintings is magically transported unquote. No gamer pass their third session is going to touch any strange object.”

The villain laughs and all but Ben are pulled into the painting. Looking around they are in a 30 by 30 foot room with forest wallpaper on the walls. A door is on three sides of the room and the locked and sealed (and ignoring the book) window looks out at Ben Tennyson. The trio ignores the trio of Medusa. Well okay they don’t but they do kill all three of the monsters. Trying the three doors at once.

Ben, “I getting bored. It been thirty real minutes and 5 game rounds. Since I can’t get into the painting, I going to explore the rest of the house.”

Trying the three doors at once does not work, so Kait opens one which drops the trio into a fine dining room set for six. But dinner has not been served. They hear cooking from one door.

Ben opens the door to kitchen and makes some remarks which.

Georgia, “Don’t be insulting my cooking. And the party is not too 7 PM. Unless you want to.”

Kait opens the other door to kitchen. “Hey what is cooking babe?” Kait ducks as Georgia throws a rolling pin and chef’s knife at her. Meanwhile, Master Mind has triggered the painting in the dining room. They are in a new dining room set for eight and dinner is served. The dinner has Candied Yams, Cheese stuffed Peppers, Jerk Frog Legs, Salted Cockatrice Eggs, Stirge Burgers, and Veggie Kabobs. Which pc ate what would be spoilers. And.

Ben,” You know it rude to throw stuff at Quills. OUCH that was a Nat 20 for hit points. I slam the door to the kitchen.” Ben rushes to dining room and jumps into the dining room painting. But the trio has moved on to another room in fact Quill’s room but.

Ben arrives at painting dining room and does not eat anything. Open the door he finds the forest room and does not got it. He opens another room and the DM considers he should be sucked into the other room but we skip that. Finally, Ben catches up with the rest of the party in Quill’s room. His window is covered in purple slime., Quill has been trapped here for three days and is ticked off that he smells Georgia’s cooking on the trio’s breath but no one brought him a doggy bag. Master Mind cleans off the slime with his magic weapon.

Book, “Spoilers!”


Opening the window causes the pcs and Quill to be dumped into the party room. 30 or so village people are dancing to Quill’s music and Renekor’s vocals from the stage. Two Quills. The only difference is one on stage has a crystal dagger.

Renekor, “Well well we have party crashers. Who are you?” Master Mind ticks off the beholder and starts a fight. Renekor orders the bouncers to toss Master Mind out of the party. The party’s Quill tries to hide and yells he does not want to be killed by the crystal dagger. And a fight breaks out.

During the fight the DM forgets the legendary actions of the beholder. Kait and Swot try to attack Renekor but he tricks them by flying out their range. Kait kills the stage Quill. The other Quill runs for the exit. Master Mind really ticks off the beholder and becomes the sole target of the rays. After three rounds of good rolls, Master Mind fails a roll and is turned to dust. Swot fails a roll and will dance for the rest of the combat. OUCH. Kait is nearly zeroed out and ticks off the beholder. Renekor chases Kait out of the party room and chows down on the Tabaxi. Just as Kait is going to become kitten chow, Ben casts a healing spell. Being prone, restrained, and chewed on Kait pokes the Beholder in the eye. This really ticks off Renekor. But before Kait can be chewed up and swallowed Ben sees the beholder is down on hit points and casts a damage spell killing the beholder. The other Quill hides.


The other Quill hides from the group and a group of Harper NPCs are send in to the Demiplane to rescues the group. The End.

Note. Master Mind has set a record. Same PC to die in three tiers. But does not hold the record for dying twice in a roll. That is held by someone else who died twice in the same session. Master Mind lose one magic item you own. And one magic item slot to tier 4.


Rotten DM
Candlekeep Mysteries Session 12

The Book of the Inner Alchemy OR

Fool or Kung Fu

Days 112 to 120

Marpenoth 14, 8 AM to Marpenoth 22, 8 AM

Gain a Level. 20 Downtime Days. 1,600 GP.

Magic Item Quaal’s Bird Feather Token, Spell scroll of your choice 5th level or lower.

Start Time 5:53 PM End Time 9:20 PM.

Pc Killed 6 Monsters Killed 125 Villains Captured 12 Villains Escaped 22

I had an average group of five. Yak Rogue 1 Wizard 12. Ben Tennyson Genie Warlock 3, Divine Soul 10, Stairs Druid 2. Master Mind Bard 9 Rogue 3. Scaredy Kait Taxbaxi Monk 11 Cleric 1. Swot Barbarian 7 Rogue 5.

Kait was wandering through the stacks looking up for various different schools of Kung Fu. She was immediately arrested for murder one, destruction of Candlekeep property, and put on trial.

Kait, “Hey that didn’t happen.”

DM, “It was the opening scene I planned on. But some pcs and players kept joking and breaking the dm. Who then had problems not laughing and getting the game started. Any way.”

Kait checked the book of Inner Alchemy only to discover some pages were missing and others blood stained. SHUT Kait. She immediately brought this attention of the Avowed-on duty, who swore Kait and her friends to keep secrets. It seems nameless Avowed was murdered just a few hours ago. Nameless was beaten to death using monk moves. Since no has speak with dead, no more.

Master Mind, “I can cast raise dead on the victim.” Not paying attention how he got the spell, the dm allows it.

Nameless Avowed mentions the facts. Two monks dressed in Order of the Immortal Lotus. Both like NPC who they will meet in the future. The Avowed also mentions they training center of the Immortal Lotus is seven days away and is located in the deep woods near Baldur’s Gate. The reason they are located there is due to good tax breaks from the local school system.

The group travels toward the school and as they get near Kait shadow monk abilities are really kicking in due it being deep dark woods. Kait disappears into the shadows, as she and the group approach a clearing. Two monks are pushing a heavy wheelbarrow of four bodies. They grab one body and dump it into the hollow of tree. Kait investigates and near becomes snackage for one of the black puddings. Between being fast on their feet, slow monks, and hungry puddings. The puddings and monks are destroyed. Five dryads come out the woods to give a reward to Kait because she is kind of slow. The group know the Lotus school is a quarter mile ahead.

Approaching the school, they see four nameless monks and Steel Crane at the gate of the school. It is not much gate as the group could just go into the woods and go around. Steel Crane and Kait engage in playful banner. Crane tries to impress the group with slow fire and some force fists. The monks try to focus fight on Kait. (Hey monk fight theme module. I have to do the cliché.) But real fire spells take out Tin Crane and his minions.

Sneaking up again deeper into the compound.

Yak, “I left the bonfire burning under the gate. Shouldn’t they be smelling that by now.”

Sneaking up deeper into the compound to the living quarters.

Yak, “What is the living quarters made of.” DM sighs.

Sneaking up deeper into the compound to the living quarters as Ben cuts eyeholes into the paper and wood construction. (YES, YAK I know you going to burn it. Quit giggling it is upsetting the cats.) Some of gardens see Ben and Master Mind and attack. As three of the monks are nearly wiped out the smart one goes for help.

The first wave of reinforcements arrives and Kait casts darkness on herself and crashes all the way thorough the paper house. Only to clubbed to death even with disadvantage due to the previous mention female murder being smart and murdering the Crazy Kat. The first wave runs forward into Yak’s Fire elemental which dm will now stupidly ignore for the rest of the combat.

The second wave of nearly arrives but is lock down mostly by an evil hypnotic pattern but during the combat Swot goes down for thee first time.

The third wave arrives the big boss who scares the party with legendary actions. During this time Swot goes down a second time. Toward the end of third wave, the fourth wave fades into the woods.

BOOK, “Liar you missed them.”

DM, “At that point it wouldn’t have matter.”

The group throws the bodies into the burning house. Loots the bodies. Rescue the captive. And return to Candlekeep.

BUT Yak decides to create the soul stealing gloves and is immediately removed from play. Adventure League removed the gloves due to the flavor text. The Gloves gives you a 20 Con and some force damage.

Note One player suggested the scale of the map but not the buildings be adjusted. 10 or 20 feet squares due to noise issues. Anyone know why AL has went to no evil pcs at all? Since we can change alignment between sessions. Combat started around 7:45 and I just funneling the npcs in since it was a monk theme module and the players highly suggest the noise of combat would be heard around the compound.


Rotten DM
Candlekeep Mysteries Session 14

The Scrivener’s Tale

The DM Cracks

Days 121 to 128

Marpenoth 23, 8 AM to Marpenoth 29, 8 AM

Gain a Level. 20 Downtime Days. 1,600 GP.

Magic Item Scroll of Conjure Fey, Potion of Fire Giant Strength, Robe of Eyes, Ioun Stone of Awareness

Start Time 6:03 PM End Time 11 PM.

Pc Killed 6 Monsters Killed 152 Villains Captured 12 Villains Escaped 23

Story Award All. Gloaming Goody. You destroyed the Princess of Shadow. An Archfey Owes you a favor but ask nicely.

Story Award except Tigra. You subtracted Hastarglyrr in two rounds. Good Dragons are not happy. Next two good dragons start out as hostile to you.

Story Award All. Back in Black. Caustilancer the black dragon to escape into the wild and returns to his home near Daggerford. Daggerford towns folks are hostile to you.

Story Award. All. Book Deal. If you donate books for the library, you can gain favor with First Reader and the Avowed. No more charges to you. And three free visits to the Keep after the end of campaign.

Story Award. Swot only. Ghost Girl. You got very close and personal with the ghost of Yvandre Rillyn. The party girl talked you into a face tattoo and full back tattoo of your choice.

I had a very strong group of five due to the level sixteen and conjurer. Cretin paladin 12 Warlock 4. Tigra Barbarian 4 Kensei monk 10. Trinion Ankerton 10 wizard conjurer 6 shepherd druids. Swot barbarian 7 rogue 7. Scaredy Kait Monk 13 Cleric 1.

Thanks to everyone especially Trinion for his spreadsheet. The player would preroll their attacks and damage before it was their initiative. With the various spells and effects in the combat, this sped up the game. BOO. BOO. Monks should not dodge.

DM Notes. I made some changes to the plot hook but this was a big railroad. Also, I should have not went with the R rated jokes as that help derail the plot hook. But we had fun.

Meepo has ask the group to look up articles on the fey court. Unknown to group, one of the remain four members of Immortal Lotus has slipped an evil book into their pull sheet. Swot seeing an unusual book with the slip cover “Play Barbarian” on it opens and starts reading in. Out loud.

The Scrivener’s Tale tells the story of a selfish and amoral archfey called the Princess of the Shadow Glass, who is locked in a blood feud with the Queen of Air and Darkness, the ruler of the Gloaming Court in the Feywild. The queen is described as an intelligent, gleaming black crystal that hovers above a throne of twisted, petrified wood. The princess is cast in the role of the protagonist, yet she views everyone else as a pawn in her struggle. The tale ends with a monologue promising bloody reprisals upon everyone the princess believes has wronged her.

Skip. To see fey pin up models turn to page 73. Gary will must include an index in the book. And what was the curse supposed to do. I think we dropped that in the second draft. Kursk. That evil archfey gets all the babes.

Everyone in entrance by the fact that Swot can read and the story. They do not notice the spoken text is now appearing on their skin. They are cursed with Scrivener’s Curse. Which does let them speak, read, and write elf.

Trinion, “I can already do that.”

With the drawback of no shadow. Which sets off the Kait who thinks she will lose her powers. Suddenly the Princess of Shadow starts talking ONLY to Swot. He is confused as to why the Princess is talking about his pass dealing with his mom. The Princess thinks Swot is the most intelligent member of the party. (The dumb found look on the player help with me messing with Swot.) The princess states she can remove the curse but this must be kept quiet. And Swot should not read out aloud any more. (Note move the trigger of the curse to be anyone who hears the story.) Trinion grabs the book away from Swot.

Cretin demands a meeting with Teles Alivoste Candlekeep expert on curses. Cretin demands Candlekeep fix the curse and gripes about leaving dangerous books not lock up. Various threats are made to Teles (and the DM and the module writer. Player was not happy with the auto curse. Neither was the DM.) As Teles is trying to tell Cretin to calm down.

Trinion, “I read the book.” (DM Groans.) A few hours of research and five-minute break for the DM to get his laughing under control. Teles has discover the book was dropped shipped from Baldur’s Gate by of Yvandre Rillyn. Teles now affected with the curse will gladly sign out a pass for the group to used a teleportation circle to Baldur’s Gate.

Arriving at Baldur’s Gate, they are told to go to the pyramid south east corner and ask for Rillyn. It seems some unnamed (DM too lazy to look up the session) adventurers where mess around with a bag of beans. Which summon the pyramid, and mummy lord, and broke the North West wall of Rillyn’s estate.

Gillian Guard, “What are you here for?”

Swot, “To trade for interesting books.”

Gillian Guard, “I have been threated, bribed, lie to, beaten up, beaten down. I never heard that excuse. Bob goes ask Rillyn if she wants to talk to these people. Bob leaves.

Trinion, “I start reading the book!” DM sigh.

Rillyn wants to see these adventurers. She is a dark skin lady missing half her left arm. Rillyn, “What can I talk with you people….”.

Trinion, “I start reading the book!” DM heavy sigh. Being blackmailed by the curse, Rillyn does some research which reveals the location of the old library. She gladly pays for a teleportation circle and agrees to go with the group. So does Gillian. Arriving at the Red Quill library they explore. Kait accidentally triggers a trap which kills Gillian and Rillyn and damages some of the party. This trap also releases the black dragon Caustilancer. The group wisely lets them go. Exploring more they find a nice ghost call Zyrian the Scrivener. His price for the secret of opening the door is possession of Trinion. Trinion agrees and we fade to black for a bit. Trinion then licks the door knob on the door leading into the reading room. This triggers the monster waves.

90 minutes, 15 mummies, and 3 stone golems the door is ready to open. (Note gave the monsters max hit points, double damage on a hit and add 5 mummies since this was the groups first fight of the night. So have stayed with average hit points.) Trinion opens the door and this summons the Princess who was lying to Swot the whole time. Swot gets mad and kicks her between the legs which starts the boss fight.

Lots fight stuff with Trinion playing hooky. Okay I thought I killed him but he still had inspiration from stealing the book from Swot. (I allowed Inspiration roll after the result.) No one died. 38 minutes later. The group is leaving the library and DM is wrapping up.

DM, “Okay as you climb out of hole, you see an adult copper dragon. I am just going to deduce the two raise dead scrolls you have to buy to bring back the two NPCs.”

Group, “Lets wait until Cretin gets out the bath room”.

The group climbs out the hole of the library to see the copper dragon Hastarglyrr and the ghosts of Gillian and Rillyn. Hastarglyrr wants you to pay to raise the dead on his two friends.

Cretin, “BEEP. (Multiple Beeps.) Initiative. 17.”

Tigra, “This is going to be a lesson in subtraction.”

The fight starts and in under two rounds. The dragon is dead. Gillian is dead again. Rillyn has possessed the body of Swot and ran off into the woods. After a few days Swot shows back up with a tattoo of a dirty word on his face. And we don’t what type of back tattoo because Swot will not show us.

DM Notes. This is second time a tier 3 person has lost to a ghost possession. The group agrees the hook is railroad but was better when I triggered it immediately. Cretin is correct about how Candlekeep is not doing it job about keeping dangerous books out the library.


Rotten DM
oops someone mention I did not post this.
Candlekeep Mysteries Session 13

The Canopic Being Or

The Lady is a Mummy

Days 120 to 121

Marpenoth 22, 8 AM to Marpenoth 23, 8 AM

Gain a Level. 20 Downtime Days. 1,600 GP.

Magic Item Crystal ball of True Seeing, Eyes of Minute Seeing (This is a jeweled Eye patch), Hat of Disguise, Ioun Awareness Stone, Staff of Fate, Watchful Helm, potion of Superior healing, Sun Blade,

Start Time 5:50 PM End Time 9:56 PM.

Pc Killed 6 Monsters Killed 131 Villains Captured 12 Villains Escaped 23

Story Award. Curse You Meddling Kids. Except for the potions, all magic items you stole from the dungeon are cursed You must pay for a Remove Curse to use them. 90 GP for the Remove Curse.

Mummy is Mad. You did not kill Valin, she may come looking for you.

I had a very strong group of five Ben Tennyson genie warlock 2, Divine soul 11, Star Druid 2. Tigra Barbarian 3 Monk 9, Scaredy Kait Tabaxi monk 12 Cleric 1. Master Mind Bard 10 Rogue 3. Cretin Paladin 12 Warlock 4. Swot Barbarian 6 rogue 6.

The group has been summoned by the First Reader. As they are walking across the quad they hear. “Cannonball” They look around just as young bronze dragon belly flops on to Ben.


DMG,”AND I always fix most of my mistakes in post.”

Ashgarlyth the young BRONZE Dragon, “Sorry. Sorry. I didn’t see you there. I must have GHOSTED out. Me and my new friends were playing tag the donkey. And I guess you became a donkey.”

Master Mind, “Nice word play.”

Four monks with a flaming BRONZE Dragon claw on their tabards arrive and start brushing Ben Tennyson off. The claw looks newly sewed on as if just last week they symbol was a lotus flower encircled by a black circle. As it looks like one of them is going to punch Ben. Kazryn Nyantani one of the Great reader comes up the group.

Kazryn, “Ashgarlyth what have we said about playing rough house in the quad?”

Master Mind, “But is not a house it a quad.”

Cretin, “And why do allow a young GREEN Dragon (beep you DM) to enter Candlekeep anyway?”

Kazryn, “He brought some water soak comics. Most are worthless but we may be able to save Number 13 Killer Kobolds of Kalamazoo. If you remember it is the first appearance of ICY, the Icewind Kobold/”

Cretin, “COMIC NERD.”

Kazryn, “You, dragon and his minions. Go play outside. Outside Candlekeep. You Meepo’s Minions. You have a meeting with the First Reader. Get there.”

The first reader info dumps the group. A book encased in plastic shell name the Canopic Being was dropped off six months ago. The first three quarters of the book are on how to make a mummy lord. The last few pages are names of people who have disappeared. Including Mayastan Sadaar dragonborn sage who disappear seventy-two hours ago on a trip to Tashluta (think Egypt). And the adventure names. The Adventure names were written in Sadaar’s handwriting. The First reader will pay a grant gp each if you find and recover Sadaar and discover why their names are written in the book. The keep will also pay for passage by teleportation circle to Tashluta.

Arriving in Tashluta the group is pass on from lower level priest of House of the All-seeing Gawd. Until getting the attention of Shir Endellion who is tick off the book is associated with the Gawd. After a nice tea ceremony.

Cretin, “I Ain’t drinking no tea.”

After a nice snack of wine and.

Cretin, “I ain’t drinking no wine.”

After another quick info dump of the sage they are looking for when to speak to Valin in the secret temple. The group is taken to the WOOD (HEY YOU SAID TOOL SHED SATURDAY). UM the group is taken to small tool shed which is the secret entrance to the major temple. They are teleported to temple and me Alessia.

After bad mouthing and ticking off Alessia. Alessia tries to get a reply for the All-Seeing eyes which are painted all over the entrance chamber. Getting a headache from dealing with Cretin’s bad mouthing the gawd, she allows the group to wander free as she returns to her sleeping quarters with a sick headache.

The group wanders north and destroys a crystal dais to get sun sword for Tigra. Ben Tennyson tries to sweep up the mess but the dais reforms and nearly traps him inside the newly form crystal. Advancing deeper into tomb um temple. They come to spa with Okuzor the Gladiator who is soaking in a poisoned spa. Valin speaks through Okuzor and is tick off by Cretin. A one on one match turns into a one on three match by the cheating adventurers. After looting the spa, they continue north. Finding the dead body of the sage they looking for but NONE of them could figure out what body part was removed. Continuing their loot vacation, they loot the treasure chamber and wander back down the temple. They have fun in the floating moon walk chamber and wander to the base of the tomb. Cretin tries to poke out all the floating eyes in the eye see you need a rest chamber. And having complete the circle they laugh at the crystal encase hand broom and enter the main chamber of.

How deep is the chamber? If take a flying leap to the center of chamber I would only take 12 pints of damage. Any more hamburgers left. The chamber is 120. How deep is the chamber?

After distracting the dm for four or more minutes so the dm forgot there were two Canopic Golems in the room for the group to fight, the group destroys the coffin and loots the cool eyepatch. They leave the chamber toward the last two rooms.

In the antechamber the group laughs at the hologram show and are not impress when Valin shows up with her Canopic Being sidekick.

BOOK, “HEY ONLY VALIN was supposed to show up.”

DM, “Adjusting for stronger group. And none of your lair actions do beep. UM Anything.” After about six rounds and forty minutes of combat.

Cretin, “You should have adjusted better. What boss lady does not have minions.” He kicks mummy dust into the dust of the mummy’s face.

The troupe retrieves the body of the dragonborn sage and return to Candlekeep. WE will NOT mention the nasty stuff wrote on the Mummy Lord’s um Lady’s chamber. But the Valin will return. If this was homebrew.


Rotten DM
Candlekeep Mysteries Session 15

Alkazaar’s Appendix

Turtle Uber

Days 128 to 140

Marpenoth 29, 8 AM To Uktar 12 8 AM 1492

Gain a Level. 20 Downtime Days. 1,600 GP.

Magic Item Magic Item Animated Shield, Dwarven Plate, Ring of Acid Resistance, Horn of blasting, Spell Scroll of Wish, Wand of Polymorph, Staff of Withering, +2 Longbow,

Charm of Mirage or Charm of Water Bearer CKM 212

Sand Hoard the treasure you looted from the city, Potion of climbing, Cantrip scroll, 2nd level spell scroll, Greater healing potion, potion of superior healing, potion of diminution, 5th level spell scroll

Start Time 5:43 PM End Time 9:28 PM.

PC Killed 6 Monsters Killed 164 Villains Captured 12 Villains Escaped 23

I had an average group of four Ben Tennyson Genie Warlock 2 Stars Druid 2 Divine Soul 16. Swot barbarian 7 rogue 8. Scaredy Kait Monk 14 Cleric 1. Tigra barbarian 4 monk 11.

Guest dice rolls were Swot’s Kids who like everyone but Swot.

2X Travel Speed. 2x Travel speed button push. Sigh.

The group is looking up Golem recipes when they find Alkazaar’s Appendix which tells of the unknown hero Alkazaar last adventure. He is unknown due selling his story to a gentle name Volothamp. His last adventure was trying to track down the Lost Golem Sapphire Sentinel of Prince Ham. Um Hamukai. The Sapphire Sentinel protected the tomb of Prince Hamukai and one of great legendary Netherese scrolls was buried with prince because the dead need reading material while waiting to be processed. Al was unsuccessful finding the tomb but he did find the Sapphire Sentinel. He was walking with Sappy when the evil Cretin Chaos Gang jumped him. Or a Sandstorm. Al had not fully edited the story. Al was able to place a tracker on Sappy and teleport away. Sappy was able to play dumb and was left alone by the gang. Al did include the portal device in his Appendix. (Group groans as they symbol is the “Don’t Panic Thumb”). The group press the thumb and are ported.

Sand flies in Tigra’s face. An ancient voice, “Grandson keep digging we got the head uncovered.” Sand files in Swot’s face. The voice continues, “Grandson I could dig for hours in the sun.”

Tigra, “Excuse me.” Sand flies in Swot’s face.

Shamir, “That was a horrible voice Pesh. Sounded like a female with a furry voice.” Sand flies toward Ben and he sidesteps the shovel full of sand.

Swot, “Hey Pesh tell the old fart we are real!” Sand quits flying out the grave. An old Bedine levers himself out. The group talks to the Bedine and compare notes. This is the Sapphire Sentinel. Ben is able to activate it. The group decides to travel deeper in the desert of Anauroch in hopes of finding clues to the last city of Mastaba. Ben is studying the sign language of Sappy and after two hours is able to fully communicate with the Sentinel.

Along the way the meet Curly, Shemp, and Curly Joe. They are three cyclops.

Swot, “I rip off my shirt. Flex my muscles and show them by tattoos. Can I roll an intimidation?”

DM, “Why not.” Sigh. The three cyclops seeing a half-naked barbarian with foul words on his fore head. And Adult content on his back decide to leave the group alone.

Later on, and the first set of exhaustion checks which may mean anything, they mean up with two other Taxbaxi. Ok, they were Rakshasa and lasted three rounds. Reading the book Ben sees a familiar landmark. A worm tunnel. The tunnel leads to a magical chamber. But to get to the chamber they have to go through a purple worm. This is where Swot was eaten. Tigra was eaten. And nearly Kait was eaten.

(Note Kids laughing at Daddy’s demise is fun. The kids were rolling for most of the night for my attack on the pcs. Also, they always hit Swot at least once.)

Tigra was able to do enough damage to get NEARLY upchucked but Wormy kept its meal. After the death of Wormy, the mural room was discovered which told another tale the Sappy and Prince Ham. (Unreliable narrators.) But due to the Bedine being present the map to Mastaba unlocks automatically. Taking a long rest, they leave the next morning.

(DM just dropped the exhaustion rolls. Between no time period for the adventure, Swot’s 2 x travel speed and other stuff; I tossed it until the final battle.)

Along the way, they do meet a clan of Chwinga who are feeding a dragon turtle name Ogruhl. Ogruhl has been trapped here for millennia, restrained by magic chains. Ogruhl was the prisoner of a cruel Netherese wizard. They group cannot figure out how to free Ogruhl. Sappy grabs Ben by the head and shakes him over the chains which releases the prisoner. As Ogruhl and friends go to leave the desert.

Ben, “Hey since we freed you can we get a lift to the city?” (Heavy DM Sigh. Well, that kills all the rest of encounters except the last big one.) With their Dragon Turtle Tank, they loot the town of Mastaba but a magical sandstorm stops Turtle Power. The group is wondering how to get in through the Sandstorm when Sappy casts dispel magic to open a tunnel to the tomb. The tomb is ziggurat. As they are scoping out the view, three scorpions and four wights explode out the sand attack the party. Swot for some reason is the main target. (GO KIDS!) During the second round a Storm Giant Skeleton walks out the tomb with the door locking behind him. A few rounds later the warm up monsters are dead. (DM suggests the scorpion and wight get +4 bonus to hit.) Swot picks the lock on the tomb. On the first floor nothing. The go down to the subbasement. Nothing. Well, there is a nice painting of the dragon destroying the town.

Kait, “That is not a painting.” The Evil draoclich Zikzokrishka attacks concentrating Swot or Sappy. Less than two rounds later the dragon is dead. The group loots the treasury and finds lots a magic which the dm will list later.

The group proceeds to the second subbasement. And suddenly discovers the wish scroll is glowing. New murals are on the hallway to the subbasement. The murals repeat the important scenes from the groups adventure. Last Mural gives the party three results.

Result one open the tomb for the Netherese scroll. Gain the scroll a legendary story item. Find the Golem. Result two let the Golem save Prince Ham. Result Three use the wish scroll to bring Hammy back to life. The group chooses…….

Result two. The Golem opens the tomb and takes Prince Ham into the afterlife with the scroll. The sun shines out of tomb on to our nice.

Ben, “Result four. I use the wish scroll to wish myself back to my home planet!”

Group, “WHAT?” Ben Tennyson explains his pc is from another planet and wants to get back. Rules look up later about using wish spells. How to use percentage dice. And what is needed to use spells above your level.

DM, “You need a 14 or better.”

D20 is rolled. It is in the air. It is bouncing on the table.

DM, “YOU ROLLED A 4. Spell failure. You do not go home. You do not pass go. You do not collect two hundred dollars. But you can take this Smoothie as consolation prize.”

The End.

DM Notes. Some of monsters are push overs even for an average party. I cheated and gave extra attacks to the Storm Giant Skeleton and Dragon. The Golem can cast Dispel Magic three times. Which is basically a gimme if the players get stuck. If the group plays nice with the NPCs and Sappy this is an easy adventure.

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