Just thought I would share this long story with everyone.

[King Nate]

I've been playing D&D for many many years now and recently got married. My wife had no idea that I played D&D. I never felt the need to tell her before we got married. However she started asking me many questions on this "hobby" that I spend so much time with.

Past experiences proved to me that the mere mention of the name Dungeons and Dragons or Roleplaying Game brings instant stereotypes and preconceptions to that person's mind that you can't change for anything.

I didn't want to have this be the first black cloud on my new marriage. I quickly thought up an alterative that goes something like this.

"What I participate in would be called something like a group storytelling sessions. Everyone gets together, one person creates a story and the other people are the main characters in that story. Each person's actions affect the story. Now there are rules to this group storytelling that everyone has to follow to determine the random elements that come up in the story."

I then broke out my dicebag. She laughed at the dice when I displayed them. I then introduced each one to her and had her roll. To my surprise, she rolled either the highest number or second highest number on all the dice except the d20 where she rolled a 1.

When she said that it was interesting and wanted to join the group storytelling, I was shocked. After thinking about it really hard, I broke out the Player's Handbook. To my surprise she had never heard of the game Dungeons and Dragons (I thought everyone at least knows of the game). When went through the process of creating her a character [Eldarin (because they are look beautiful) Ranger (because she wants to use bows and arrows to stay away from the bad guys)].

When went through a mock combat scenario which I let her win the first round then gave her an encounter way above her head to kill her. I explained that if she had friends to rely on she probably wouldn't had died in this combat.

I wish I could say that the story ended there but it gets weird from her on out.

I am out doing the husband thing, having dinner with her friends when she begins to explain her new hobby. I can feel the cold sweat beginning to pour down my face.

She got about four words out when she turned to me and asked me what was the name of the hobby, "Dun..." GASP!, I quickly interrupted her, turned to her friends and went through the same process of explaining it as a group storytelling process with rules that you do with other people.

Then it happened. They thought it sounded interesting and my wife invited them to participate in a session! They all agreed! In two weeks I am scheduled to run a game with only four girls (a first all girl game in D&D history).

Besides being extremely worried that these girls will either relies that they will be playing D&D or that I will find it really hard to create a story that an all girl group will enjoy, I also have the added thought in the back of my mind...why didn't I think about this when I was a teenager!

Anyway does anyone have any ideas for an all girl group? I was thinking romance, but I don't think I would feel comfortable running a romance storyline for my wife and her friends.

 

[Crothian]

Keep it light and loose. First session make characters and see what they want to make and where they see the characters going. You'd be suprised, I found some women really like the idea of making brutes and killing things dead. So, don't try to assume what play style they will enjoy. I'd have a few simple ideas that are open ended and then just see where they guide you, but have something ready in case they need to be guided.

There is the novel Confessions of a part time Sorcererous that they may enjoy reading. It is about a woman and her experience being introduced to gaming. Best of luck!!

 

[Jack7]

I also have the added thought in the back of my mind...why didn't I think about this when I was a teenager!

Made me laugh KN.

It just goes to prove the old adage, "It ain't what you're selling, it's how you sell it."

As for girl groups, I run one with my daughters and some of their friends from church.

They seem to like a lot of storytelling, and for the combats to be less complicated and mathematical and instead more exciting and immediate, if that makes sense.

They like combats against on-going NPCs and against monsters that are scary and evil and dangerous, but fewer combats with more puzzles, things to explore, thought efforts, mysteries, etc, far less crawls and fight-fight every other room. As for romance, instead of making it the theme of an adventure, though you could, make it part of the background material. Like Jack and Kate and Sawyer on Lost. Not the storyline per se, but part of the storyline in background. I think Cor is right though. Don't automatically assume things about the people you play with. Anyways, you should enjoy it, if my anecdotal experience is any guide.

Good luck and Godspeed.

 

[Treebore]

Woman like killing things and taking their stuff too!

As for the "romance", its about loyalty and commitment. Give them some NPC friends/allies who will "be there" and leave it at that. If they are ever interested in getting married and all that let them tell you, just like you probably let your male players do. In a lot of ways woman are just like guys, they just have a handful of very distinct differences.

So introduce them to the game just like you would a guy. Explain to them what kind of story options are available, just like a guy. Anything from becoming Queens of their own empire to just being a rich land owner with a husband and bunch of kids to anything else they can imagine. Just like you would tell a guy with a couple of words changed out.

 

[Ydars]

Hi Nate! Don't worry; girls can be more brutal than guys. My daughter (18) is a real bone cruncher when she plays; far more combat loving than the men in the group.

I find one consistent theme amongst girls I have DMed is that they all seem to bond with and focus on familars and animal companions. So I would get some in as fast as possible.

I also find that if girls' characters are created as part of the setting (i.e. their characters have defined roles in the town etc) that they tend to be more responsible and play that role better than many men.

So you can create adventures off the idea that the women have power. I would be tempted to create an adventure where the women play the wives of the powerful men in some city but the women form a powerful and secret society to protect the town and their bumbling husbands from disaster. They go out at night and lead double lives, doing what is good for the town and pitting themselves against the wives of nobles from other towns etc.

Essentially though, you sold this on the idea of collective story and so that is what it must be. So help them to create decent characters and the rest will take care of itself.

 

[Treebore]

Ydars touches on some good points. Female players do like hack and slash, but they also tend to pay attention to details that the guys typically tend to gloss over.

So if you tell them they are the cleric of a small community don't be surprised if they actually take that responsibility a bit more seriously than your used to.

 

[Stalker0]

My friend had a similar experience with his GF. She was interested in the game, so he worked with her on making a character. He thought they would focus on the backstory, but she ignored all that, and poured through the books to pick the feats and powers to make her the biggest bad ass!

 

[Delta]

I've been playing D&D for many many years now and recently got married. My wife had no idea that I played D&D... I never felt the need to tell her before we got married. However she started asking me many questions on this "hobby" that I spend so much time with.

Past experiences proved to me that the mere mention of the name Dungeons and Dragons or Roleplaying Game brings instant stereotypes and preconceptions to that person's mind that you can't change for anything...

She got about four words out when she turned to me and asked me what was the name of the hobby, "Dun..." GASP!, I quickly interrupted her...

Anyway does anyone have any ideas for an all girl group? I was thinking romance, but I don't think I would feel comfortable running a romance storyline for my wife and her friends.

Dude, you need to chill the hell out.

I guess I share a lot of your "guilty secret of playing D&D" at the back of my head, I went all through the same stuff in late 70's and 80's witch-hunt period. But seriously, the name D&D does not hold the same "taboo" mark with people nowadays. My girlfriend talks about it openly. I can use it in an example in a classroom of 30 college students, and as far as they know its just some other videogame.

The main thing is that when I talk about it, I have to be forthright and honest and not let that little squirrelly tone into my voice as if I have something to be ashamed of. You need to do the same -- it's all in *your* head.

It's kind of tremendously wierd that you kept this as a complete secret ("hobby that I spend so much time with") from your wife until after you were married. If it's really that bad, in the most generous sense of fellowship, I might actually suggest that you talk to a counselor about it. It sounds like my own issues turned up to a crippling level. You don't need that.


(As a side issue, don't do a "romantic" game because you're playing with girls. Give them D&D and let them kill stuff like adventurers, they're obviously crying out for that release. I'm sure they've had enough condescension in their lives already.)

 

[Rel]

Leaving aside the issue of the game you plan to run, my main advice would be to keep the lines of communication open with your wife a bit more. AFTER you are married is generally not the best time for your spouse to find out about one of your favorite hobbies.

 

[Aeolius]

...does anyone have any ideas for an all girl group?

Go-gos, Bananarama, and Bangles are all taken, I hear.

You might want to gauge their interest in role-playing, first. Figure out what common elements they might share; movies ("Princess Bride", "Starlight"), vampire novels, TV shows, etc. and build the campaign accordingly. Build the first session with a hint of things to come; dungeons, wilderness encounters, urban life, and a mix of friendly and hostile beasties.