(LHHS) The Light Hearted Hack n' Slash Game (I)

[Creamsteak]

It is midnight, and it is quite dark here in Farlisk. The troll was burned quite completely, and the smoke was green and smelled quite a bit like sewage. The town is utterly silent at the moment, and apparently anyone that would be looking for the woman is not. Your group has mostly come to meet the wood elf in a dark and rather small alleyway. The elf is quite different from the way he originally appeared. Now his hair is silver and his face is almost emotionless. He appears to be the same elf, however, as his stature, composure, and voice are all the same.

The Elf silently sits on an empty barrel waiting for everyone to get to the meeting place. Promptly after he is sure that no more have decided to come, he makes his offer. He opens up a cloth sack on the ground. Inside the sack you can see some red and violet cloths. Closer inspection reveals them to be cloaks, of very fine quality. The elf grabs three more cloth sacks and opens them up for you all to view. Each cloth sack contains another piece of apparel. Gloves and shoes, jerkins and tunics, silk pants. Two of the outfits are fit for women, and four outfits are fit for men. A glancing check reveals silver buttons and golden colored tassles. Earrings and rings are shown in the last sack, a handful of each, all quite valuable in appearance.

The Elf smiles at anyone who looks closer but tries to discourage anyone who wants to actually handle the merchandise. The Elf is quite a bit more professional looking when carefully picks up the bags with the utmost care not to pick up any dirt along with the garments. He then puts the sacks inside of another sack on his belt, one at a time. The belt sack is smaller than the other four sacks, which boggles the mind a little. It appears that mayhaps this man is a master of the slight of hand.

"Greetings... I suspect your the kind of mud-trampers and troll hunters I might be able to use. The kind of people that are too kind to be slavers, and too unsettled to live anywhere other than in danger. I won't force you to do anything now. I don't want to force you to do anything. Don't ask my name, please. If your asked to describe me, then tell whoever is asking what I looked like earlier."

"My lover, the nymph she is, has been stolen from me. They probably copied her as soon as they could find the time to kidnap her. The problem is that I can't touch them since the operation is legal, and there's a pretty good chance that despite the kidnapping I would be put to death for interfering in affairs around here. I won't ask you to kill any citizens. I won't ask you to rescue my wife. I'll have someone more professional or more reputable deal with those things. I need someone to roll in the beetle dung for me."

"What I need someone to do, is to disable thier giant beetles for me. (Without anyone saying a word, it appears the man reacts to someone's thoughts) Who? Oh, well the Bart Company of course. They are the only company that can legally trade simulicrum's of missing persons. I'll never know how many people they bribed for that license. Anyway, I need someone to delay the beetles for a few days the next time they stop in Farlisk. They should be here Friday (it's Sunday). All you have to do is get into those stables and overfeed the beetles. Overfed beetles sleep for quite a while... especially the female ones. If you just put the thing out of commission for more than a day, by whatever means you can, that will allow me to prepare to make my move."

The man doesn't let anyone leave, and waits for thier answers before continueing.

 

[reapersaurus]

Brawn asks, "How it legal to kidnap ssssomeone?

That not ssssound right.

Thosse clothesss may be pretty, but not to me.
Is that sssupposed to be pay-ment?

What do fire beetles normally do for the Company?"

 

[Creamsteak]

Brawn asks, "How it legal to kidnap ssssomeone?

That not ssssound right.

Thosse clothesss may be pretty, but not to me.
Is that sssupposed to be pay-ment?

What do fire beetles normally do for the Company?"

For the Bart company, it is quite legal to kidnap and copy someone. They have the license in all cities and city-states. Like I said, noboby knows how they have it. It happens to just be a generally accepted fact.

These clothes should suffice as payment, they are quite valuable. Even if you don't want them, they are worth many times thier weight in gold. I do think you like gold?

Fire Beetles? Why do you ask?

 

[reapersaurus]

"I don't underssstand.
How it legal to kidnap sssomeone?

And I like gold - I don't like clothesss.
Givess usss gold, and we'll talk.
I don't know if these clothesss are best used for royalty, or for butt-wiping.

And it not likely that we'll find royalty to ssssell them to.
Do we lookss like merchantsss to you?"

 

[Creamsteak]

"I don't underssstand.
How it legal to kidnap sssomeone?

And I like gold - I don't like clothesss.
Givess usss gold, and we'll talk.
I don't know if these clothesss are best used for royalty, or for butt-wiping.

And it not likely that we'll find royalty to ssssell them to.
Do we lookss like merchantsss to you?"

"Lizardfolk, with your skin so green, don't contradict me..."

"It is simply the truth. All records for hundreds of years explain that the Bart company has free range all over the continent. I have no idea how they maintain it, it is none of my business."

"I'll give you some gold... if I have some after I acquire the services of someone more professional to deal with the return of my wife."

 

[Lichtenhart]

"Mmmm, and when and where should we meet you with the rest of our reward? Do you expect it to be a large convoy, one with a lot of escort? For that would raise our expenses..."

 

[Creamsteak]

Warning, the thread title has changed, but please ignore it and contiue to (?pretend?) your characters are alive? No really I'm (not) kidding! Seriously, your all not (very) dead. No, it's just a joke (on your pathetic wimpy characters, by my Overpowered Diefic dieties, roar!).

(This is not a) Bump (because that would mean this is a joke)

 

[Creamsteak]

"Mmmm, and when and where should we meet you with the rest of our reward? Do you expect it to be a large convoy, one with a lot of escort? For that would raise our expenses..."

"You really think highly of yourself don't you? Fine, if you want a big reward, then you'll have to do the big job. If you want to try to save my daughter then I recommend you make a prayer to whatever gods you have tonight. The Caravan will have at least two bands of warriors with them."

"But I'll pay you with something other than gold..."

The Elf reaches inside of his pouch again and pulls out a large Velvet-orange sack. He sets it down on the barrel where he was sitting, and unfolds four extremely fine cloaks. They reflect a glossy blueish hue, and seem to have an interior coating of orange blue.

"These are worth more than you stand to make in a hundred years. And considering your not elves, I doubt your ability to live that long. Especially with the attitudes you have."

"I don't pay upfront to people that don't hold anything over my head. You could have been happy with the easy job, but no, you demand to see rewards up-front.

"You wouldn't pay upfrong to a strange group of unknown mercenaries in a backwater town would you? I doubt it, your not that dumb looking."

 

[Kalanyr]

Sits in the room some more.

 

[Macbrea]

Yorick glances at Brawn and says in draconic, "Hmm, wonder how those would hold up being drug though the swamp waters?"