More Stupid Humor - Things not to leave for Santa

[caudor]

Every Christmas, we leave some milk and cookies for Santa and check to be sure the walk-way is clear from the fireplace to the tree.

I was thinking...what should you NOT leave for Santa?

- Don't leave your four sided dice laying around on the floor (esp. around the tree). Santa doesn't like caltrops.

- Don't leave your leftover snacks from you last gaming session. Santa doesn't like stale snack'ums.

- Don't leave your half-drunk Mountain Dew cans laying around the entry to the fire place. Santa hates tripping over cans.

- Don't use an ace bandage to strap your cat to the Christmas tree. Santa doesn't like folks who torture cats (had to add this...my young daughter actually tried this one year...look out PirateCat, she's got your number)

- Don't leave your Ravenloft books out...Santa doesn't like Dark Lords.

- Don't leave your dice bag laying around...Santa might mistake that it your stocking.

Your ideas are welcome!

 

[arwink]

Don't leave the party rogue lurking around your house. Santa's carrying a mighty impressive sack of holding, and you could probably do a good business selling understocked popular toys to desperate parents.

 

[caudor]

Don't leave the party rogue lurking around your house. Santa's carrying a mighty impressive sack of holding, and you could probably do a good business selling understocked popular toys to desperate parents.

Wahhh...That's a good one!

Unfortunately for the rogue, I think Santa has uncanny dodge. Underneath that red suit, around that big belly, I also heard Santa also has a girdle of giant strength. (Needed to haul that bag around).

 

[Terraism]

Venison.

 

[LGodamus]

a brochure for Jenny Craig diet system

 

[Psychotic Jim]

-Don't leave your fireplace burning. Santa Claus doesn't like toasty receptions.
-Don't leave your miniatures out- see the d4 warning.
-Don't leave your Necronomicon out. Santa gets enough stress already trying to figure out who's naughty and who's nice.

 

[Robbert Raets]

- Don't leave your Revised Core Rulebook Wishlist; the poor old guy will have a heart attack when he sees how long it is:
- Don't install that Death Star class security system in the living room, Santa's not blaster proof:
- Make sure your Christmas Lights don't have faulty wiring, he hates shocking surprises.

 

[Mark]

Thigh Master

 

[s/LaSH]

Dragon. Any type of dragon, good or evil, they'll take his sack of loot and ruin Christmas for everyone else. It's just too tempting for the poor creature.

Piece of scratch paper from campaign, reading, "Kidnapped Mayor's daughter, rescue before midnight or will sacrifice her to evil deity".

Your impressive collection of stuffed and mounted gnomes. (Tell me they don't look just a little bit like him or his helpers. Go on.)

Giftwrapped box two yards on each side with a small note reading, "Not from Santa, the mingy git".

 

[Henry]

Don't leave out for Santa to see or find:

-instructions on how to hack into NORAD. It kind of gives the whole "naughty or nice" thing away too easily.

-anti-personnel mines: Santa's got a tough enough time making his way to all the houses at night.