My friend is dying

[BigFreekinGoblinoid]

Hi Rob, it's certainly a difficult situation you are faced with. Either way hurts. I'm truly sorry for you.

I was faced with a similar situation a few years back when my cat of 18 years was put to sleep. The poor thing had lost so much weight over the years that it was all skin and bones. He would not eat, bumped into walls, and meowed at nothing. We "knew" it was time to put put him down, but that didn't make it any easier.

I was there in the room when it happened. I still remember that moment soo vividly. I won't describe it in detail, but it is one of those times I will always remember - Unfortunately, even more vividly than other special memories, like when he would bring me birds, or sleep under the covers with me in the winter etc...

If you still have trouble making a decision, I would suggest getting a second opinion from another Vetrinarian, just like you might from a "regular" doctor.

Warm Regards,

Joe

 

[jgbrowning]

pray. think. eat. sleep. pray. think. act.

my standard operating procedure for tough decisions. remember that what ever you do, you can do no better.


joe b.

 

[boxstop7]

I'm too tired to read all the posts, so I'll probably just be restating a bunch of stuff that has already been said. Having made my initial statement of lethargy, I am truly, truly sorry for you. My family just put our 12 year-old Doberman to sleep last month. He was old, and was having seizures that were crippling him more and more each day. After the last one, he couldn't walk. At that point, my family decided to put him to sleep. We viewed it as selfish to keep him alive in such a state just so we could have him for a bit longer. We decided to put him to sleep to spare him any further pain and suffering, and it was one of the hardest things we've ever done. We got him when he was 5, and he was near dead. Our family (mostly credit to my mom) nursed him back to health and he was the best damned dog I've ever had. My mom had to call me at college to let me know what had happened. I cried like a baby for over a week, and to this day it KILLS me that I didn't get to say goodbye to my puppy. I still don't like going home, b/c the house feels empty. And when my other dog finally dies (he's 15...I've had him since I was a little kid), I know I'm gonna lose it, and I know it's gonna be really hard to get over it.

My advice to you, friend, is to heed your vet's advice, whatever it may finally be. If your cat is really sick and is dying quickly (I'm sorry for sounding morbid), it's in your and his best interest to end things quickly. Would you want to drag it out and watch him suffer through some long disease or ailment, just so you can have him around longer? Is that how you want to remember him?

Losing this cat will be like losing part of yourself. It's gonna hurt, and it's gonna leave a hole in your heart. But it's not just about you. If your kitty is no longer able to enjoy his life, or is any pain whatsoever, you owe it to him to make the situation better. If that means putting him to sleep, he deserves it. Linus won't be upset with you. He'd probably thank you for being compassionate, understanding and loving enough to put HIS best interests above yours. I know it's a stretch, but think of him as a brother. Would you keep your brother on life support forever, just to have "here"?

Ultimately, only you know how to judge his quality of life, and only you know if his lifestyle involves any pain or suffering at the moment. As a last word of advice, I'll say this: I don't know what ailment dear Linus is suffering from. But if it's feline pneumonia, put him to sleep before it gets worse; save him the suffering. My favorite kitty died of F.P. when I was a little kid, right in our arms in the vet's office waiting for an available doctor. Make it easy on him, and keep him in your heart always.

My deepest sympathies,

~Box

EDIT: atrocious grammar

 

[Alzrius]

Liquide, my heart goes out to you hearing this. I've had several pets, and the only thing harder then having them die is asking yourself if you should euthenize them.

The best thing to do is probably go back to the vet and ask if Linus is in pain. If the answer is yes, then, as much as it breaks my heart to say it, you probably should put him to sleep. I don't recommend this option lightly, since just a few months ago I had to do the same thing to my cat, Grimmy, when her liver all but totally failed on her. It's a heartbreaking experience, but we have to remember that the true meaning of love is doing what's best for the one we love, and not for ourselves. If Linus is in pain, be strong and let him go, don't make him suffer.

If, on the other hand, his dying little by little is just old age catching up to him, but not causing him undue pain, then I recommend keeping him at home and letting his life end in the place he knows surrounded by the people he loves. My first cat went like this, quietly in the night, wrapped in a blanket with us around her. It was sad, but it was probably the best way she could have gone.

Either way, the road ahead is going to be hard for you, and everyone else who loved Linus. Just remember the good times you shared with him, and keep those memories in your heart. Stay close to those you love and who love you, and you'll weather this hardship. We all hear your pain and lend our sympathy and best wishes.

 

[Dr. Strangemonkey]

Looking at the advice you've gotten already, I think the only thing that I can add is that the fact that you have always given Linus a good life and any decision you make will add to that.

No cat can give itself a painless death, and no cat can give itself a last few moments of life in the presence and care of a human with whom it has spent its life. Cats in the wild don't lead miserable existences, but you have added a level of life to his existence that has enobled and exalted him beyond what nature could provide for him.

You are everything to Linus, and either way you are giving him something that exemplifies the best aspects of the relationship between human's and their pets.

I wish you and Linus well, and hope that the decision you make brings you some small measure of comfort as you cherish him.

 

[Darkness]

Liquide, I'm so very sorry. My condolences, man.

The vet told me that the best way for me was to put him to sleep, but I feel I cannot do that I cannot take away the life of a friend of mine that I have known for so long and share so many good memories with.

I know it would be best for him as a cat to put him to sleep but I'm too human for that, and I picture Linus as one of my friends that has tagged along with me for quite some time.

A year ago, I was in the exact same situation, slowly losing the cat that I've grown up with and lived with for 15+ years, and whom I loved more than my own life.

He had (as it turned out in detail only later) liver cancer, couldn't eat or drink any more, and was slowly dying a bit more every day.

I didn't want to let him go, but my mother implored me to stop his suffering. It was the hardest thing that I've ever had to do, but I heeded her advice. It was the right choice...

I'm still crying, at times, when I think of him - especially when I hear about other people (and their cats or other loved pets) having to go through the same situation (e.g., right now).

 

[DDK]

My sympathies, Liquidoloco. I can't really offer any concrete advice except to say that most people, when in a terminal situation that cannot be rectified, choose euthanasia, especially when in pain. It's a tough decision even for people who can voice their opinions and make it known what it is they wish, but even tougher for you since Linus can't tell you what he wants. I say, if he's not in pain, make him comfy, feed him soft, squishy, tasty morsels of succelent fishies and just be his friend till the end. But if he's in pain and there's nothing that can be done for him and his quality of life has deteriorated to an unnacceptable level... well, I know what I would choose if I was Linus.

 

[Larry Fitz]

A lot of people have shared their own experiences here in an effort to help you make your decision and all have expressed their sympathies. Let me add my condolences in what is a difficult time for you. Death is part of life, and while you've taken a great deal of responsibilty for Linus' life you didn't give it to him. No one likes to be uncomfortable, but life has pain it. Linus has been in pain before, maybe not this bad, but it has happened. The real question is not whether you should prolong his life, but whether it's better to end it for him or not. The answer, in my opinion, lies in whether Linus has given up or not. You obviously care a great deal about your friend, so much so that you do not seem as concerned with what's best for you, as you are with what's best for him. Take your cue from him. If he can still get joy out of a moment or a look or a pat on the head, then let him find what joy is left to him. If he is in a state of dementia and each day is confused suffering with no possibility of improvement, then help him past that. May you and Linus find the answer that works for the two of you.

 

[Knight Otu]

This is a sad thing to hear, and I don't think anyone would laugh about it. Many here have had similar experiences in losing their pets. We had a cat and dogs that had to be put to sleep. Two cats (one of my sister) were run over by cars and killed. Another one survived. Putting a pet to sleep is a tough choice, one that I did not have to make yet but one that I've seen other family members make.
Loosing a pet is hard. You will have to decide what you feel is best for Linus.

 

[jdavis]

I'll add my condolences to the growing list. I have had several pets to die and it is never a easy thing (I cried for 2 days over a fish when I was little). I have no real advice to add except that you should remember you are making a choice on what's best for your cat not yourself, it is a very hard choice to make and you have my deepest sympathies.

Instead of adding a sad story about a pet (I have too many and they are hard to talk about.), I'll share what I was told about my bird. I have a African Grey Parrot who is 5 years old, I was told that in all likelyhood the bird would live to be 60 or 70 years old, that will put me at around 90 to 100. I really can't imagine life without my bird and I am sort of afraid of what will happen to him after I am gone, I will have to provide for my bird in my will.

Again my deepest sympathies to you and your cat.