My last gaming session made me uncomfortable...
- Thread starter Arravis
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Ralif Redhammer
Legend
I wouldn't worry about it too much; it seemed to match the tone of the game and situation. And it looks like the players didn't object.
We had a GM that had a strange thing for rape in his campaigns. Most characters were subjected to it at some point, whether we were playing Chill, TMNT, Paranoia, etc. After a while, we became a bit blase about it. Really disturbing, when I think about it.
Yet the only time that I was really disturbed by in-game events was when another player decided to take revenge in another game (Ravenloft) and rape the person in question's character. That campaign ended with the rapist being killed and the victim committing suicide. One of the ugliest ends to a campaign I've ever seen.
We had a GM that had a strange thing for rape in his campaigns. Most characters were subjected to it at some point, whether we were playing Chill, TMNT, Paranoia, etc. After a while, we became a bit blase about it. Really disturbing, when I think about it.
Yet the only time that I was really disturbed by in-game events was when another player decided to take revenge in another game (Ravenloft) and rape the person in question's character. That campaign ended with the rapist being killed and the victim committing suicide. One of the ugliest ends to a campaign I've ever seen.
Tom Cashel
First Post
I like what you've done to the Bloody Fist. But why is it "the kind of place women obviously don't go to"? I can understand a certain class of women (read: noblewomen) not frequenting the place, but why turn it into a sausage party, especially given the specific lack of gender bias in the D&D rules?
Sorry to be playing armchair psychologist here, but the men-only thing, coupled with your own shock at how good you are at being misogynistic when the NPC calls for it...only you can tell yourself why it made you uncomfortable. I'm not that good of an armchair psychologist.
And you and your wife can talk it over, of course.
If I were in your shoes, I'd wonder how the other players at the table felt about it (besides you and the wife). Although I didn't find the content to be objectionable, the thought of a DM and his wife role-playing that scene in front of the group..."Not so rough"...hrmmm...in my imagination you come dangerously close to being "that couple."
EDIT: But if the other players really didn't care, only the questions you ask of yourself are really important.
Sorry to be playing armchair psychologist here, but the men-only thing, coupled with your own shock at how good you are at being misogynistic when the NPC calls for it...only you can tell yourself why it made you uncomfortable. I'm not that good of an armchair psychologist.
And you and your wife can talk it over, of course.
If I were in your shoes, I'd wonder how the other players at the table felt about it (besides you and the wife). Although I didn't find the content to be objectionable, the thought of a DM and his wife role-playing that scene in front of the group..."Not so rough"...hrmmm...in my imagination you come dangerously close to being "that couple."
EDIT: But if the other players really didn't care, only the questions you ask of yourself are really important.
Tom Cashel wrote: "but why turn it into a sausage party,"
Well, I've been to a few boxing matches in my youth and I've seen the clientele there. It wasn’t women; it was all men. The version of the Bloody Fist that I have is essentially a boxing ring; you're either there to fight or to watch the fight. Sure, there may be some women there, but that will tend to be rare.
Also part of the reason that it shocked me is that her character isn't the type to say "Not so rough"; her character is very straightforward and blunt. Additionally, we keep our relationship out of our role-playing, there's no ridiculous innuendo between her and I at the gaming table.
Well, I've been to a few boxing matches in my youth and I've seen the clientele there. It wasn’t women; it was all men. The version of the Bloody Fist that I have is essentially a boxing ring; you're either there to fight or to watch the fight. Sure, there may be some women there, but that will tend to be rare.
Also part of the reason that it shocked me is that her character isn't the type to say "Not so rough"; her character is very straightforward and blunt. Additionally, we keep our relationship out of our role-playing, there's no ridiculous innuendo between her and I at the gaming table.
Vraille Darkfang
First Post
loki44 said:
Southern Missouri were the motto is: "Hey, we're not Arkansas!"
Tom Cashel
First Post
Arravis said:
But it's fantasy. Why does it have to be like a real boxing match? Besides, I've seen women shouting with more bloodlust during hockey fights than the guys I was sitting with. Madison Square Garden in NYC....Bloody Fist in Waterdeep....not too far removed, right?
Well, that's good, but...I guess my point was that this particular exchange sounded a lot like ridiculous innuendo to me, especially if the remark was out-of-character for her PC. Know what I mean?
The hockey matches I've been to have actually been fairly tame, but of course, part of that might have been because they were in Alabama...
My point isn't that women do or don't do such things, it is that there tend to be trends in behavior. Otherwise, places like strip clubs would be filled with 50% women. The reality of such things tend to be different. Anyway, as mentioned on the first post, I attempt to make the game somewhat realistic in the context of FR and D&D.
At the gaming table it was very clear that my wife's comment was not directed at me, but at the NPC. Are you suggesting that her character should never make such advances or comments because they may be misunderstood by the other players?
My point isn't that women do or don't do such things, it is that there tend to be trends in behavior. Otherwise, places like strip clubs would be filled with 50% women. The reality of such things tend to be different. Anyway, as mentioned on the first post, I attempt to make the game somewhat realistic in the context of FR and D&D.
At the gaming table it was very clear that my wife's comment was not directed at me, but at the NPC. Are you suggesting that her character should never make such advances or comments because they may be misunderstood by the other players?
the Jester
Legend
Maliki said:
Are you SURE??
Tom Cashel
First Post
As far as how you handle gender issues in game, that's really up to you. Just struck me is all.
Nope, not at all. I don't think people should censor themselves. I'm just trying to offer an alternate viewpoint.
But isn't the statement "it was very clear that my wife's comment was not directed at me, but at the NPC" a little disingenuous? Okay, it was her PC talking to an NPC. But in another, more immediate sense, it was your wife talking to you. I'm all for separation between OOC and IC, but to say that there was absolutely no element of your wife talking to you when her character was talking to your NPC...well, that's just not reality to me.
(Anyway, I'm just commenting Arravis. Not trying to get you all wound up or anything like that.)
Arravis said:
Nope, not at all. I don't think people should censor themselves. I'm just trying to offer an alternate viewpoint.
But isn't the statement "it was very clear that my wife's comment was not directed at me, but at the NPC" a little disingenuous? Okay, it was her PC talking to an NPC. But in another, more immediate sense, it was your wife talking to you. I'm all for separation between OOC and IC, but to say that there was absolutely no element of your wife talking to you when her character was talking to your NPC...well, that's just not reality to me.
(Anyway, I'm just commenting Arravis. Not trying to get you all wound up or anything like that.)
John Morrow
First Post
Tom Cashel said:
It's equally valid to ask why it can't be. I think it's important to leave that up to the GM and how they want to run their setting and, hopefully, they'll take their player's tastes into account.
I don't think a GM should be put on the defensive for running a setting that treats the sexes differently. Even if you consider such situations horribly sexist, egalitarian utopias usually aren't very interesting. It can add color to the setting, whether the players go along with it or challenge it, think it's realistic or not. Of course it's also perfectly valid to not include it if the GM or players have more than enough sexism in their normal life and want to escape it in their fantasies. Of course the same thing can be said about any number of other nasty elements of role-playing games until you wind up with something with a "G" rating and singing dwarves. Everything offends someone's sensibilities. Even the singing dwarves.
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