Naughty Paladin. How do I punish them?

[Inconsequenti-AL]

I'm a player in this game. Playing Davion the Alienist... rather insane, as you'd expect. On top of that, now he's really annoyed.

In this evenings session, Reliq - our paladin, got into a dice game with a fey creature. Each round he lost, bizarre things happened to 'him'. Firstly he swapped bodies with my character. Then he got all my lovely non magical clothing turned to gold! As a finale, he got my gender switched around.

So I'm now inhabiting this stinky, oversized thing that smells of stupid and ironworks. He's taken my lovely body and messed it up.

I've assesed the damage and fortunately it doesn't look too permenant. We're going to swap back eventually. I tried dispelling it, but couldn't manage it - even with a very strong effort... so I'm stuck with it for the time being.

I'd love to visit his friends and church bosses and confuse the heck out of them, but we're on an away mission to the plane of air.

What should I do to punish him for his reckless gambling?

So far, I've started making charcoal marks on my/his arm - thought a chaos tatoo might offset his rugged good looks. How difficult can a DIY tatoo be anyhow?


Bonus question: We might have to fight soon. What would you polymorph the paladin into that can actually fight! Reached the 15th level cap on it.

 

[Corsair]

Bonus question: We might have to fight soon. What would you polymorph the paladin into that can actually fight! Reached the 15th level cap on it.

This is a pretty subective one. Here are a couple I'm fond of:

12 Headed Hydra: 12 bite attacks, even in a standard action! And think of all the attacks of opportunity!
Planetar: Not the strongest out there, but reach and nice base AC even before counting armor and magic items. (This one is much more fun if you have Shapechange instead)

 

[Nightfall]

Firstly I'd polymorph him into a celestial. Still humaniod, still pretty bad ass.

Secondly as punishment, sell your soul to an Archfiend. They like chaotic minded people that willingly give up something for new bodies and revenge.

 

[domino]

You could always NOT punish him.

 

[Barendd Nobeard]

Bonus question: We might have to fight soon. What would you polymorph the paladin into that can actually fight! Reached the 15th level cap on it.

Annis Hag. Strength of 25 and +10 Natural Armor. And, as an added bonus, is there anything less paladin-y than a hag?

 

[ThirdWizard]

Dress in lingerie and charge people to watch you on a webcam.

I hear the ladies love it.

 

[Saeviomagy]

I'd say the worst punishment is...
don't switch back. This new, strong, healthy body is a lot better than the old one, especially since the old one is now female.

So don't switch back. Make the new body as much like your old one as you like (dump the armour for instance, and use prestidigitation to make yourself smell 'right').

Hell, you could even polymorph or alter self the body so you look just like you always did.

 

[Sarellion]

There was an accident with a magic item in our group. A fighter and a wizardess changed bodies. The wizardess player often smiled and said that statwise she would like to keep it.

The weird thing was that they later slept with each other and were still in the other´s one body...

 

[ThirdWizard]

There was an accident with a magic item in our group. A fighter and a wizardess changed bodies. The wizardess player often smiled and said that statwise she would like to keep it.

The weird thing was that they later slept with each other and were still in the other´s one body...

Just say they were both completely narcissistic and leave it at that.

 

[Torm]

"I can't believe I kissed you!"

"Must've been your lifelong ambition."

The Paladin gambling with someone else's welfare at stake has gone Chaotic. You don't need to punish him (her?) - the Paladin's deity should be doing that.

So speaks Torm.