[nostalgia] Looking back at the stupid crap we used to do
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Orius
Unrepentant DM Supremacist
Wow, these are pretty bad. I have to admit my D&D stuff never got this cheesy, probably because I started playing shortly before my senior year of high school.
However, I'd already been playing Hero Quest for a few years by that time, and I used that game for my really immature stuff. I had this evil spellcaster named Garthrond the Necromancer I kept bringing back to life for no reason except to make dungeons stuffed with undead. And he always had unlimited Summon Undead spells.
As for D&D the worst I did was put in shops that sold magic items real cheap. The orginal camapign area I designed was later recycled about 2 or 3 times as I put the city and surrounding area into my later campaigns. My second campaign was about a nasty vampire wizard that was trying to conquer the continent. Wasn't too bad, but I had a lot of dungeons in that one. Some of my favorite traps got recycled from that campaign. My absolute favorite is the room filled with stuffed animals, by which I mean hunting trophies, not teddy bears.
Basically, the animals get animated when the trap is triggered and attack the PCs. And I don't use stuff like deer, I prefer stocking that trap with stuffed owlbears and such. 
However, I'd already been playing Hero Quest for a few years by that time, and I used that game for my really immature stuff. I had this evil spellcaster named Garthrond the Necromancer I kept bringing back to life for no reason except to make dungeons stuffed with undead. And he always had unlimited Summon Undead spells.
As for D&D the worst I did was put in shops that sold magic items real cheap. The orginal camapign area I designed was later recycled about 2 or 3 times as I put the city and surrounding area into my later campaigns. My second campaign was about a nasty vampire wizard that was trying to conquer the continent. Wasn't too bad, but I had a lot of dungeons in that one. Some of my favorite traps got recycled from that campaign. My absolute favorite is the room filled with stuffed animals, by which I mean hunting trophies, not teddy bears.
Basically, the animals get animated when the trap is triggered and attack the PCs. And I don't use stuff like deer, I prefer stocking that trap with stuffed owlbears and such. UniversalMonster
Explorer
This is good stuff.
I think my worst extravagances were when I was DMing for my brother and I gave his characters mutant powers. Like, one guy got an extra pair of arms. (my brother played several characters at once). I can't remember if I took the mutant powers out of Gamma World or not. I *think* I did.
I *still* make massive multi-level dungeon maps! They're neat! They're a bit hard to key, though. I thought I was pretty impressive until I met this guy in Lubbock when I was in college. (This is a fairly famous Lubbockite- also known as the Mad Hatter- nearly all Lubbock gamers will know who he is). He had this big notebook full of dungeon maps and keyed encounters for like several thousand rooms, hundreds of levels. He opened the book at random and read one out loud- it was like .. something where you walk into a room and there are seven eggs. The eggs hatch and 7 birds start circling around, casting 7 types of spells at you. The book was full of rooms like that.
Those were the kind of D&D rooms I remember. Nothing in 1st edition ever *really* had to make sense- it was all just.. each room was a challenge all by itself. I was totally guilty of the same kind of designs early on. I don't think I wrote a coherent adventure until 1986 or so.
I think my worst extravagances were when I was DMing for my brother and I gave his characters mutant powers. Like, one guy got an extra pair of arms. (my brother played several characters at once). I can't remember if I took the mutant powers out of Gamma World or not. I *think* I did.
I *still* make massive multi-level dungeon maps! They're neat! They're a bit hard to key, though. I thought I was pretty impressive until I met this guy in Lubbock when I was in college. (This is a fairly famous Lubbockite- also known as the Mad Hatter- nearly all Lubbock gamers will know who he is). He had this big notebook full of dungeon maps and keyed encounters for like several thousand rooms, hundreds of levels. He opened the book at random and read one out loud- it was like .. something where you walk into a room and there are seven eggs. The eggs hatch and 7 birds start circling around, casting 7 types of spells at you. The book was full of rooms like that.
Those were the kind of D&D rooms I remember. Nothing in 1st edition ever *really* had to make sense- it was all just.. each room was a challenge all by itself. I was totally guilty of the same kind of designs early on. I don't think I wrote a coherent adventure until 1986 or so.
Bloodsparrow
First Post
Rel said:
I once had a Thief, her name was "stickyfingers" in French.
Once, just to be annoying, I made a Kender Wildmage, named "Sherbert Hitthedirt". Her familer was a fairy dragon named "Banaca". Annother character in the party was a CN fighter/rogue who was a Drow in disguise... I zapped him with my Hopac of Wonder and rolled poorly to control the outcome. As a result he fell in love with her, somebody cast Permanency and the rest is history... Good times.
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Oi! I remember my character going to a "Mad Max" kind of world where all the men had women names and women had men names.
Strapping a box to my head and peeing in the hall of the Slaver stockade. Just because.
Going into a cave and meeting a harpy there... because I hadn't battled a harpy yet and it was just time...
Enslaving the character of a very annoying player who said he had a 15th level paladin with all these magic items, but didn't actually know what those items did. So my 18th level fighter subdued him. Kept him chained in a dungeon. Tortured him everyday. Cut off his limbs (except his left arm) and then stuck a ring of regeneration (didn't everyone have those back in '81?) so he'd heal and I could torture him again... (Sometimes I wasn't a very nice player).
Uh, I named my first character Darkon. He was based on the SuperJoe action figure of the same name. Green skin, orange eyes and everything. His "henchman" was an Ur-Vile named Garkoffiancalrisiansackoff. Or something close to that and equally unpronouncable.
My friends characters were named ELO, Diode, Electrode, etc.
Ooooh, there are so many horrible stories... I could do more later if ya want.
Strapping a box to my head and peeing in the hall of the Slaver stockade. Just because.
Going into a cave and meeting a harpy there... because I hadn't battled a harpy yet and it was just time...
Enslaving the character of a very annoying player who said he had a 15th level paladin with all these magic items, but didn't actually know what those items did. So my 18th level fighter subdued him. Kept him chained in a dungeon. Tortured him everyday. Cut off his limbs (except his left arm) and then stuck a ring of regeneration (didn't everyone have those back in '81?) so he'd heal and I could torture him again... (Sometimes I wasn't a very nice player).
Uh, I named my first character Darkon. He was based on the SuperJoe action figure of the same name. Green skin, orange eyes and everything. His "henchman" was an Ur-Vile named Garkoffiancalrisiansackoff. Or something close to that and equally unpronouncable.
My friends characters were named ELO, Diode, Electrode, etc.
Ooooh, there are so many horrible stories... I could do more later if ya want.
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Furtive Noise
First Post
I have vague memories of playing a campaign with a few friends when I was quite young and less than mature. I remember someone playing a halfling with a vorpal sword (at 5th level) that specialized in lopping off a lower extremity of giants, and um no not the legs. 
Someone else used a wish to create a neverending wagon of ale, which we all thought was hilarious for some reason. I played a thief but was too timid and kind hearted in the game to ever commit larceny, while the rest of the party made detailed plans on how to burn down inns (I'm the player who usually feels guilted into following all the obvious, boring plot hooks the DM throws in.) Eventually the campaign ended when my character tried to use a powerful artifact that the DM warned had a huge chance of backfiring. It did and the world exploded. The end.
God, those were the days; I've rarely had such stupid, unpredictable fun since!
Someone else used a wish to create a neverending wagon of ale, which we all thought was hilarious for some reason. I played a thief but was too timid and kind hearted in the game to ever commit larceny, while the rest of the party made detailed plans on how to burn down inns (I'm the player who usually feels guilted into following all the obvious, boring plot hooks the DM throws in.) Eventually the campaign ended when my character tried to use a powerful artifact that the DM warned had a huge chance of backfiring. It did and the world exploded. The end.God, those were the days; I've rarely had such stupid, unpredictable fun since!
Not exactly a stupid thing but...
A friend of mine had a wizard character (2nd edition AD&D) who was 85 years old (human). He was only 1st level. The catch was he was in reality a 20th level wizard that had suffered a magical accident, and his memory never recovered. In all regards he was only 1st level, and as frail as most 85 year old humans, but every time he cast a spell, there was a 5% chance that some other higher level spell would slip out of his fragmented mind (usually fireball or teleport).
He also had a minotar henchman, that was bound to protect the old man, but when ever the teleport spell slipped out, the wizard would be teleported at random and the minotar would have to go and find him.
Two most memorable incidents with this character:
He had a bag of holding that he used to carry around the entire contents of a upper class hotel room, so that his old bones would have comfort at night.
The party once while stumbling through the underdark, some how inserted themselves between two opposing armies of dwarves and drow. When the fireworks started, the old wizard was discovered in the midst of the battle, collecting spell components while the minotar scrambled around him protecting him from both the dwarves and the drow.
A friend of mine had a wizard character (2nd edition AD&D) who was 85 years old (human). He was only 1st level. The catch was he was in reality a 20th level wizard that had suffered a magical accident, and his memory never recovered. In all regards he was only 1st level, and as frail as most 85 year old humans, but every time he cast a spell, there was a 5% chance that some other higher level spell would slip out of his fragmented mind (usually fireball or teleport).
He also had a minotar henchman, that was bound to protect the old man, but when ever the teleport spell slipped out, the wizard would be teleported at random and the minotar would have to go and find him.
Two most memorable incidents with this character:
He had a bag of holding that he used to carry around the entire contents of a upper class hotel room, so that his old bones would have comfort at night.
The party once while stumbling through the underdark, some how inserted themselves between two opposing armies of dwarves and drow. When the fireworks started, the old wizard was discovered in the midst of the battle, collecting spell components while the minotar scrambled around him protecting him from both the dwarves and the drow.
shadow
First Post
I have lots of memories of cheesy campaigns I played in or ran when I was younger. However, nothing will compare to the horrible GURPS cyberpunk campaign I ran in high school.
I created this campaign in the middle of my anime & Final Fantasy craze. So the plot was completely ripped of a combination of Final Fantasy 7, Akira, and Parasite Eve. It started normal enough, but then I started introducing psionics, mutant powers, and cliches ripped of of the aforementioned video games and anime. Entire characters were ripped out of Final Fantasy 7 including the main villain who had white hair, a black trench coat, carried a katana blade, and had psionic powers (Sephiroth ripoff!) and a supporting NPC who was an innocent, somewhat naive young woman with healing empathic abilities (Aeris ripoff!). I even had characters quote from video games and assumed no-one would notice.
What was worse was the fact that I had a grand story in mind, so I completely railroaded the game. I practically forced players to go certain ways and do certain things. No room for player choice.
The most outrageous moments came when one of the PCs learned to unlock his hidden psionic potential. I had decided that GURPS psionics weren't flashy enough, so I allowed the player to pick psionic powers out of the 2e Complete Psionics Handbook. (Don't ask me how I managed to convert D&D psionics to GURPS). The result was a completely unbalanced, unmanageble game.
In the end only the most hardcore players stuck with the campaign. Even then, they were complaining about how railroaded and cliched the game was. Oh high school gaming, those were the days!
I created this campaign in the middle of my anime & Final Fantasy craze. So the plot was completely ripped of a combination of Final Fantasy 7, Akira, and Parasite Eve. It started normal enough, but then I started introducing psionics, mutant powers, and cliches ripped of of the aforementioned video games and anime. Entire characters were ripped out of Final Fantasy 7 including the main villain who had white hair, a black trench coat, carried a katana blade, and had psionic powers (Sephiroth ripoff!) and a supporting NPC who was an innocent, somewhat naive young woman with healing empathic abilities (Aeris ripoff!). I even had characters quote from video games and assumed no-one would notice.
What was worse was the fact that I had a grand story in mind, so I completely railroaded the game. I practically forced players to go certain ways and do certain things. No room for player choice.
The most outrageous moments came when one of the PCs learned to unlock his hidden psionic potential. I had decided that GURPS psionics weren't flashy enough, so I allowed the player to pick psionic powers out of the 2e Complete Psionics Handbook. (Don't ask me how I managed to convert D&D psionics to GURPS). The result was a completely unbalanced, unmanageble game.
In the end only the most hardcore players stuck with the campaign. Even then, they were complaining about how railroaded and cliched the game was. Oh high school gaming, those were the days!
Numion
First Post
1st ed AD&D in the Known World.
The DM had a large binder full of stuff - basically detailed overland maps for the whole corner of the continent. Hundreds of dungeons and villages. It wasn't made by the DM, who was our age ,11 years, but he got from an older guy. We just run around and looted dungeons.
And villages.
You see, the town and village maps had all the houses numbered. We didn't make any difference between villages and dungeons.
"We go to front of house number ... 1!"
Knock on the door, loot. House number 2. 3. 4.
The only time the DM made his own adventure we killed Hera in it.
The DM had a large binder full of stuff - basically detailed overland maps for the whole corner of the continent. Hundreds of dungeons and villages. It wasn't made by the DM, who was our age ,11 years, but he got from an older guy. We just run around and looted dungeons.
And villages.
You see, the town and village maps had all the houses numbered. We didn't make any difference between villages and dungeons.
"We go to front of house number ... 1!"
Knock on the door, loot. House number 2. 3. 4.
The only time the DM made his own adventure we killed Hera in it.
Sir Whiskers
First Post
Let's see...
I used to give the monsters swords +1, +5 vs. player-characters.
I once gave a single character a helm of brilliance. It was guarded by a few orcs on the first level. Why did I do so? Because that's what I rolled on the treasure tables.
For a while, all my dungeons had DLM's (Dungeon Level Masters). Each was responsible for keeping order in a particular dungeon level, evicting parties that caused too much trouble, restocking monsters, etc. They also served as really lousy plot devices.
We thought the portable hole actually created a hole in something (kind of like passwall). I used a crystal ball and a portable hole to trash so many monster rooms...(scry, see where they are, pop in where they aren't. Rinse and repeat.)
One of my wizards once took out the Egg of Coot (First Fantasy Campaign) by teleporting into his throne room, throwing a bag of holding over his head, then pushing him into a portable hole. Rip in space-time and all that...
We used to run our characters in multiple campaigns, which led to serious balance issues. When I came back from college, I found my friends' characters all had max stats, max psionics, belts of storm giant strength, hammers of the thunderbolts, etc. To challenge them I created the Greek Gods dungeon, where they went from room to room, battling gods, titans, hundred-handed ones, and so on. My favorite encounter was when one wizard tried to use a time stop spell on Chronos (the Titan of Time). BTW, the party trashed the place - no gods survived.
One character had an item that would resurrect him if he died. A drow disintegrated him. A round later he reappeared, sans clothing, equipment, armor - basically starkers. He was the paladin.
I used to give the monsters swords +1, +5 vs. player-characters.
I once gave a single character a helm of brilliance. It was guarded by a few orcs on the first level. Why did I do so? Because that's what I rolled on the treasure tables.
For a while, all my dungeons had DLM's (Dungeon Level Masters). Each was responsible for keeping order in a particular dungeon level, evicting parties that caused too much trouble, restocking monsters, etc. They also served as really lousy plot devices.
We thought the portable hole actually created a hole in something (kind of like passwall). I used a crystal ball and a portable hole to trash so many monster rooms...(scry, see where they are, pop in where they aren't. Rinse and repeat.)
One of my wizards once took out the Egg of Coot (First Fantasy Campaign) by teleporting into his throne room, throwing a bag of holding over his head, then pushing him into a portable hole. Rip in space-time and all that...
We used to run our characters in multiple campaigns, which led to serious balance issues. When I came back from college, I found my friends' characters all had max stats, max psionics, belts of storm giant strength, hammers of the thunderbolts, etc. To challenge them I created the Greek Gods dungeon, where they went from room to room, battling gods, titans, hundred-handed ones, and so on. My favorite encounter was when one wizard tried to use a time stop spell on Chronos (the Titan of Time). BTW, the party trashed the place - no gods survived.
One character had an item that would resurrect him if he died. A drow disintegrated him. A round later he reappeared, sans clothing, equipment, armor - basically starkers. He was the paladin.
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