Saying you 'want' to attack works better at my table. When a player has their mind decided to start combat they tell me they want to initiate combat or they 'want' to attack.
Thats why youre finding this so hard to conceptualise. Wanting to attack isnt an action that can be reacted against.
If I am parlaying with some Orcs, they probably
want to attack me. But that is not enough for combat to start. It only starts when they act. Then we get inititiative.
Heck, evil cultists probably want to attack everyone.
Then we determine any surprises and then roll initiative.
What are you rolling for exactly? If two people are talking to each other, and one wants to attack the other, and inititive is rolled (although I dont know why, seeing as there is no trigger for anyone else to attack or defend), assuming the person still talking and not 'wanting to atack' wins, what are they to do?
That way you go from narrative to combat and you avoid any awkward situations of the initiator declaring an attack but then roll low initiative.
Thats not an awkward situation. You simply state (to the person that won initiative) what the lower initiative agressor declared they were doing. He's currently halfway through doing that, and the person who won initiative gets a chance to act before hand.
Otherwise youre stuck in the absurd situation of calling for an initiative roll (a Dex check) to react to what someone else is thinking of doing.
It also removes any weird situations where someone is surprised, yet gets their turn before you. In that situation they stay surprised and there is no "reaction" to the "hostile action" that initiated combat to begin with and you don't have someone getting an automatic perception check... The prior example clearly allowed the target to succeed in what would normally require a perception check.
Thats not ridiculous at all. It models a person walking into an ambush and getting a bad feeling, noticing the arrows in mid flight, or whatever and having a split second to react. Remember if theyre surprised due to (for example) getting charged by some orcs who were hidden in some bushes (the orcs have declared theyre charging the party) the Orcs have to charge 30' to reach them. You just narrate it accordingly (you see some Orcs charging at you from some bushes - youre surprised, but can take a single reaction accordingly).
Remember; the Orcs declared they were charging the party from ambush. Thats exactly what theyre doing, and the surprised creature who wins initiative gets the chance to take a reaction before the orcs close the distance and resolve those attacks.