D&D General Of Consent, Session 0 and Hard Decisions.

[FrogReaver]

I am literally giving you examples where I have made a personal choice to not impact the group, and to remove myself.

I'm not excluding anyone, and nobody is 'unsafe' lol.

My feelings are taking into consideration when given 'fair warning' that content I dont want to engage with, is included.

Its still my personal responsibility to make the choice for me, instead of for the rest of the group.

I’ll add this. I’m personally more interested in the playing a game with friends than any particular game. I was offering to run BitD but one of the players was only really interested in 5e d&d. He offered to sit out but we decided to stick with 5e so everyone could keep playing. But there was no expectation of that and if we had decided to play the other he would have sit out till we went back to 5e and there would have been no hard feelings. That’s the expectations I have and find reasonable. Anything more than that reads more to me as coercive pressure on your friends to get your way.

 

[Scribe]

I’ll add this. I’m personally more interested in the playing a game with friends than any particular game. I was offering to run BitD but one of the players was only really interested in 5e d&d. He offered to sit out but we decided to stick with 5e so everyone could keep playing. But there was no expectation of that and if we had decided to play the other he would have sit out till we went back to 5e and there would have been no hard feelings. That’s the expectations I have and find reasonable. Anything more than that reads more to me as coercive pressure on your friends to get your way.

My buddies went on this awful tangent playing a game I had no desire to invest time and money in. They wanted to however, until they came to their senses and returned to our true mistress of 40K, and so I just didnt game with them for a bit.

No problem.

 

[FrozenNorth]

If me and my friends play poker every Friday and one of the group decides they hate poker now and want to play chess we don’t stop playing poker. We wish them best in their chess endeavor and keep on playing poker.

I don’t think that analogy tracks with the situation described.

A better analogy would be “if nobody had issues with violent dogs when we started the campaign, but Terry just got out of the hospital last week after being attacked by a pitbull, maybe we drop the “rabid werewolves” questline.”

Your framing is dishonest because it suggests that a player just arbitrarily decided they hated an activity they previously loved for no reason.

 

[FrozenNorth]

It's just considered unlucky/repulsive/gross based on religious taboos tied to the Chinese Folk Religion. So American companies cover up bones and stuff so their stuff sells to as many people in China as possible for the biggest return on investment for the money spent on localization.

You want boney undead and ghosts all up in your game? Do it. It'll still sell. But it won't sell as much because of people who don't like that kind of thing.

Fun random fact: movie distributors thought the movie Coco would flop in China because many of the characters are portrayed as walking skeletons. Instead, it was a huge hit because people found its themes of what is due to our ancestors and its portrayal of family dynamics relatable.

 

[AnotherGuy]

In all my roleplaying groups I do not think we have ever hit a topic which has made us feel unsafe or uncomfortable that I know of. I have a friend who says he is an arachnophobe but yet I know he has braved computer games which include spiders that do indeed frighten him and his told me about it.
It may be because we are predominantly a guy group over the years. We do not have the luxury of playing with strangers and when we have invited someone new, they usually become fast friends.

I mean nothing is off the table if the story direction went that way, GoT style, but I'd say our out of play commentary to each other and general banter is likely far worse than anything in-game.

 

[FrogReaver]

I don’t think that analogy tracks with the situation described.

I do.

A better analogy would be “if nobody had issues with violent dogs when we started the campaign, but Terry just got out of the hospital last week after being attacked by a pitbull, maybe we drop the “rabid werewolves” questline.”

I don’t think so. I think that’s just an attempt to pass a rather specific analogy off as being general to the situation when it isn’t.

Your framing is dishonest because it suggests that a player just arbitrarily decided they hated an activity they previously loved for no reason.

Not suggesting a reason is not the suggestion of no reason. I didn’t suggest what to me was the most obvious reason because it veered to close to religion for this site. But maybe we can use a similarish lens of a person coming to a philosophic realization that gambling is immoral, whether he’s ultimately right or wrong, he believes that now.

 

[Vaalingrade]

I mean it's all just finding a way to justify not caring about our friends' feelings to keep doing what we're doing.

 

[FrogReaver]

I mean it's all just finding a way to justify not caring about our friends' feelings to keep doing what we're doing.

This personal attack is getting really old.

 

[GrimCo]

My thinking goes in line with @Scribe. As a player, i'm the one who is responsible with which content i will or won't engage. Same as him, i turned down games. FE i had burnout on D&D and fantasy in general. Told my friends. Offered to run oWoD or 7th sea, but they weren't into it. They had fun and wanted to play d&d in Realms. So i took a break for about a year, they played they weekly games, and we would hang out some other day in the week.

As a DM, i try to be accommodating. But if i want to run Berzerk inspired R rated dark fantasy, everyone wants to play it except one person who would rather play PG-13 rated game, sorry. There isn't much i can do. If they just have problems with certain aspect that might pop up (SA, slavery etc), i can cut that out. Tweaking small details? No problem. Changing whole campaign? Hell no. In the end, as a DM, i run games i like.

 

[Remathilis]

I mean it's all just finding a way to justify not caring about our friends' feelings to keep doing what we're doing.

Change "friends" to "anyone's" and you have the oldest philosophical exercise known to man.