Wycen Adamantite
Explorer
I like Meepo's answer, but maybe I'm biased. 
Ok, then ... how WOULD the nine alignments deal with kender?
- Thread starter Edena_of_Neith
- Start date
Deedlit
First Post
The lawful good character would put up with the kender, because Kiri-Jolith and Paladine reward a special place in the afterlife for going through such troubles
The neutral good would get along rather well with kender, but eventually many would get annoyed
The chaotic good character would enjoy the stories and the lifestyle of kender, and not at all be repulsed by them(Though he would find ways of ensuring all of his stuff isn't borrowed.)
The lawful neutral character would round up all the kender he could find and throw them in jail
The true neutral character would ignore them, just like everything else not related to whatever their focus is
The chaotic neutral character would like the kender, and use them as tools for pranks and such
The lawful evil character would kindly inform the kender about this most interesting dragon lair, and ask if they heard about it. When they go exploring, there is an awake great wyrm red.
The neutral evil would sadistically tear them limb from limb, then sacrifice them to the gods of darkness
The chaotic evil character would use them as a tool, become a friend of the kender, and use fear of kender to destroy society as we know it and make him rule the world, as kender will ransack the cities otherwise.
The neutral good would get along rather well with kender, but eventually many would get annoyed
The chaotic good character would enjoy the stories and the lifestyle of kender, and not at all be repulsed by them(Though he would find ways of ensuring all of his stuff isn't borrowed.)
The lawful neutral character would round up all the kender he could find and throw them in jail
The true neutral character would ignore them, just like everything else not related to whatever their focus is
The chaotic neutral character would like the kender, and use them as tools for pranks and such
The lawful evil character would kindly inform the kender about this most interesting dragon lair, and ask if they heard about it. When they go exploring, there is an awake great wyrm red.
The neutral evil would sadistically tear them limb from limb, then sacrifice them to the gods of darkness
The chaotic evil character would use them as a tool, become a friend of the kender, and use fear of kender to destroy society as we know it and make him rule the world, as kender will ransack the cities otherwise.
CRGreathouse
Community Supporter
MeepoTheMighty said:LG: Kill the kender
LN: Kill the kender
LE: Kill the kender
NG: Kill the kender
TN: Kill the kender
NE: Kill the kender
CG: Kill the kender
CN: Kill the kender
CE: Kill the kender.
But maybe I'm just biased.
I think these are all correct.
I once threatened my DM with multiclassing my wizard into a ranger with favored enemy (kender).
Edena_of_Neith
First Post
Heh. Some wild answers here!
I see that kender would be safe only around lawful good and neutral good characters in your games, and sometimes they wouldn't be safe even among those alignments!
I pity the poor kender Player Character.
I tried running a genuine (true to the concept in total) kender, but the other players quickly got so mad at me (me, the player, not the character) I had to abandon the character.
I figure lawful evil, and maybe even neutral evil characters, have a longer life expectancy among their own party (not to mention among the NPCs of the DM) than kender do.
Anyone else out there have a take on this subject?
Here is my take on reactions to kender:
A lawful good being would be at ease among kender, treating them with courtesy and dignity, making friends of many of them, and otherwise getting along well with them. Being constantly robbed and talked to death, by said kender, would be something he could handle with grace and restraint, and the kender would consider him a top notch friend.
A neutral good being would be ill at ease among kender, but would strive hard to be patient and understanding with them. He might or might not befriend some of them, his temper around them would range from congenial to angry, and being constantly robbed and talked to death would strain the limits of his social graces.
A chaotic good character could not cope with kender, becoming frustrated, angry, and withdrawn as they robbed him and talked him to death. Under special circumstances, he might befriend one of them, or tolerate one or two of them. He would take pains not to hurt them, however.
A lawful neutral character would be well able to cope with kender, and remain patient and comprehensive of their nature. However, barring some special circumstances, friendship would not occur, and the person would contrive to get rid of said kender - either by sending them away, having them imprisoned or detained, or having them killed.
A neutral character would tolerate kender, with great difficulty, under special circumstances. Otherwise, antipathy and hostility is likely, leading to possible violence, and most certainly a breakup between the kender and said person.
Except under special circumstances, anger, antipathy, violence, and even hatred are going to be the rule between kender and a chaotic neutral person. No cooperation or friendship is going to be possible, and certainly no tolerance is going to be extended to the kender.
A lawful evil person will cope with kender easily. He will get along with them famously. He will have them removed, imprisoned, and/or killed at the first convenient opportunity.
The neutral evil person is likely to attack any kender, shortly after meeting the first one and discovering the nature of kender in general. Kill on sight will be the rule after that initial contact.
If forced to deal with kender non-violently, this person will be in pain, and will endeavor to minimalize contact with the little nuisances as much as possible.
It is unlikely that a chaotic evil person will choose, or allow himself to be forced, to deal with kender non-violently.
This person will learn to kill kender on sight, preferably in painful and horrific ways.
If somehow forced to deal with kender non-violently, this person will be unable to cope with the situation, and will withdraw into silence and his own world.
I see that kender would be safe only around lawful good and neutral good characters in your games, and sometimes they wouldn't be safe even among those alignments!
I pity the poor kender Player Character.
I tried running a genuine (true to the concept in total) kender, but the other players quickly got so mad at me (me, the player, not the character) I had to abandon the character.
I figure lawful evil, and maybe even neutral evil characters, have a longer life expectancy among their own party (not to mention among the NPCs of the DM) than kender do.
Anyone else out there have a take on this subject?
Here is my take on reactions to kender:
A lawful good being would be at ease among kender, treating them with courtesy and dignity, making friends of many of them, and otherwise getting along well with them. Being constantly robbed and talked to death, by said kender, would be something he could handle with grace and restraint, and the kender would consider him a top notch friend.
A neutral good being would be ill at ease among kender, but would strive hard to be patient and understanding with them. He might or might not befriend some of them, his temper around them would range from congenial to angry, and being constantly robbed and talked to death would strain the limits of his social graces.
A chaotic good character could not cope with kender, becoming frustrated, angry, and withdrawn as they robbed him and talked him to death. Under special circumstances, he might befriend one of them, or tolerate one or two of them. He would take pains not to hurt them, however.
A lawful neutral character would be well able to cope with kender, and remain patient and comprehensive of their nature. However, barring some special circumstances, friendship would not occur, and the person would contrive to get rid of said kender - either by sending them away, having them imprisoned or detained, or having them killed.
A neutral character would tolerate kender, with great difficulty, under special circumstances. Otherwise, antipathy and hostility is likely, leading to possible violence, and most certainly a breakup between the kender and said person.
Except under special circumstances, anger, antipathy, violence, and even hatred are going to be the rule between kender and a chaotic neutral person. No cooperation or friendship is going to be possible, and certainly no tolerance is going to be extended to the kender.
A lawful evil person will cope with kender easily. He will get along with them famously. He will have them removed, imprisoned, and/or killed at the first convenient opportunity.
The neutral evil person is likely to attack any kender, shortly after meeting the first one and discovering the nature of kender in general. Kill on sight will be the rule after that initial contact.
If forced to deal with kender non-violently, this person will be in pain, and will endeavor to minimalize contact with the little nuisances as much as possible.
It is unlikely that a chaotic evil person will choose, or allow himself to be forced, to deal with kender non-violently.
This person will learn to kill kender on sight, preferably in painful and horrific ways.
If somehow forced to deal with kender non-violently, this person will be unable to cope with the situation, and will withdraw into silence and his own world.
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GuardianLurker
Adventurer
I'll just focus on LG characters :
LG Fighter/Paladin : Warn the kender against inappropriate behavior. When the kender (rapidly) exceeds the accepted bounds, spank. Continue escalating the punishment until either : the kender learns (apparently impossible), the fighter gives up, or the punishment dramatically exceeds the crime (and thus can't be justly administered). This will probably end up with the fighter paladin tying the kender up and hanging it upside down from a tree so the fighter can escape. If escape is impossible, the character will (once he gets high enough level) leave for a saner plane (like Limbo).
LG Cleric : Assuming he isn't a cleric of the Krynn gods (in which case he just suffers in silence), start the punishments with harangues/lectures before the spankings. Most punishments will involve lectures at some length. Eventually, the cleric seeks a monastery and takes a vow of silence, thereby boring the kender to leave.
LG Monk : Just retreats back to his monastery and becomes (from the kender's point of view) incredibly boring. If this isn't possible, just becomes boring stoic person (requiring lots of Will rolls to avoid beating kender to a pulp).
LG Wizard/Sorceror : After the first time the kender thieves, places a non-lethal trap spell on important items. Also becomes highly adept at the itch cantrip. Eventually despite the wizard's best efforts the kender will poke his nose into something of the wizard's that's really dangerous and commit suicide.
Oh, and a bonus :
*E Wizard : Researchs a kender cannon. Fires live kender at distant targets (preferrably as distant as possible). Whether the kender is alive when it reaches the target is immaterial. In a pinch, dead kender will suffice, but live kender are preferred.
LG Fighter/Paladin : Warn the kender against inappropriate behavior. When the kender (rapidly) exceeds the accepted bounds, spank. Continue escalating the punishment until either : the kender learns (apparently impossible), the fighter gives up, or the punishment dramatically exceeds the crime (and thus can't be justly administered). This will probably end up with the fighter paladin tying the kender up and hanging it upside down from a tree so the fighter can escape. If escape is impossible, the character will (once he gets high enough level) leave for a saner plane (like Limbo).
LG Cleric : Assuming he isn't a cleric of the Krynn gods (in which case he just suffers in silence), start the punishments with harangues/lectures before the spankings. Most punishments will involve lectures at some length. Eventually, the cleric seeks a monastery and takes a vow of silence, thereby boring the kender to leave.
LG Monk : Just retreats back to his monastery and becomes (from the kender's point of view) incredibly boring. If this isn't possible, just becomes boring stoic person (requiring lots of Will rolls to avoid beating kender to a pulp).
LG Wizard/Sorceror : After the first time the kender thieves, places a non-lethal trap spell on important items. Also becomes highly adept at the itch cantrip. Eventually despite the wizard's best efforts the kender will poke his nose into something of the wizard's that's really dangerous and commit suicide.
Oh, and a bonus :
*E Wizard : Researchs a kender cannon. Fires live kender at distant targets (preferrably as distant as possible). Whether the kender is alive when it reaches the target is immaterial. In a pinch, dead kender will suffice, but live kender are preferred.
Edena_of_Neith
First Post
LOL!
Guardian Lurker, I see you have read your Dragonlance!
But now, tell me of a lawful good character who would tolerate kender and their ways (no punishments, no lectures) ...
Guardian Lurker, I see you have read your Dragonlance!
But now, tell me of a lawful good character who would tolerate kender and their ways (no punishments, no lectures) ...
David Argall
First Post
kendering
Please resist the common error to assume all virtue belongs to LG. What the kinder needs most is tolerance, and that is not a virtue to the lawfuls. The kinder's actions are a constant series of insults to the law and no lawful should accept that. It is your chaotic who gets used to finding his money pouch/misc small desired item by grabbing the kinder and shaking.
As to the idea of Kill the kinder, while tempting at times, the kinder has the unmentioned, but clearly present in all texts, ability to soothe victims. While this ability does not always work, it does explain why kinder are not shot on sight, and means the party will be unable to kill the kinder.
Please resist the common error to assume all virtue belongs to LG. What the kinder needs most is tolerance, and that is not a virtue to the lawfuls. The kinder's actions are a constant series of insults to the law and no lawful should accept that. It is your chaotic who gets used to finding his money pouch/misc small desired item by grabbing the kinder and shaking.
As to the idea of Kill the kinder, while tempting at times, the kinder has the unmentioned, but clearly present in all texts, ability to soothe victims. While this ability does not always work, it does explain why kinder are not shot on sight, and means the party will be unable to kill the kinder.
IMHO, kenders as Edena described them, are a menace to any soceity. Just imagine if you had to live with such a person, and how much trouble and pain would be caused by such thieves (Or do you think they only steal objects that are not of vital necessity to someone? LOL. "Ah... those pills I found were needed to save that man that had an allergic reaction to bees? Too bad he did not say anything when he turned purple 2 days ago...") No society could tolerate kenders and remain intact.
Even LG and NG would have to ban/lock up kenders, and if that would not help, kill them as a measure of last resort. The good of that many (any non-kender) vastly outweighs the good of the little thieves.
Kender, imho, are a good concept for a novel, where the writer can portray them in a funny way, but realistically they would be about as harmful to any society as a disease. Just because they do not consider it stealing when they steal does not give them the right to steal, and so anyone has the right to defend himself or herself against their actions, which means incarcaration or banishment, if everything else failed - I do not believe it would - , death.
Even LG and NG would have to ban/lock up kenders, and if that would not help, kill them as a measure of last resort. The good of that many (any non-kender) vastly outweighs the good of the little thieves.
Kender, imho, are a good concept for a novel, where the writer can portray them in a funny way, but realistically they would be about as harmful to any society as a disease. Just because they do not consider it stealing when they steal does not give them the right to steal, and so anyone has the right to defend himself or herself against their actions, which means incarcaration or banishment, if everything else failed - I do not believe it would - , death.
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