This thread has so many concepts flying around, you can make 10 or so forked threads which could separately tackle pieces of the issues. I, however, will adjust the original post, and a few things said.
There are games for you. There are games shining through constantly, from all sorts of unexpected sources. For a while, I had a kind of nihilistic view of the RPG world myself. Mostly because I didn't explore communities other than Enworld and the D&D core forums. All I saw were d20 games, D&D, the occasion similar game, Cthulhu, Shadowrun, etc...
But once I branched out, and opened up, there were plenty of things to take a look at. World of Darkness is a magnificently expansive world, with an easy system, a huge lean toward roleplaying, and excellent inspiration for my games. They are absolutely the best publisher (in my eyes) for books that are entirely usable for my game in every paragraph but can never be described as "crunchy". You can write them off as "emo-goth", but frankly, I don't know what the **** that even means. Even the best target for this kind of criticism (V:tR) is a full-fleshed out, interesting, intruiging game that continues to be a pioneer in it's small subgenre. I find that this criticism is usually targeted at the people who play the games themselves, and is mostly about belittlement than contructive criticism of the game.
Then there's the Fantasy Flight family of games. They're well-funded, well designed, and very sexy. I havn't picked up Anima or Grimm, but I'm giving you another WFRP vote for the game you should play. Fits your descriptors, and it's going to offer you an experience unlike anything you're used to. Dark Heresy might be another target for the "emo-goth" lable if you're a crackhead, but I'd say it's an incredibly solid game that comes from a fantastic Sci-Fi setting. Might not be at all what you're looking for, but it's a perfect example of a new game that's blazing it's own path, even though it mechanically resembles the rest of the Fantasy Flight game systems.
RPGs are going through a funny time. PnP games are going to see a big shift. All along the forums, people are starting to look for something new. On Gnome Stew, I participated in a huge thread talking about how the example of the Nintendo Wii can be applied to the idea of an RPG that would help evangelize the hobby. WFRP and Dark Heresy are getting more attention, and as 4th Edition gets more popular, more people will slowly trickle into the hobby, and others will search for new systems to explore.
This wasn't a very well thought-out post. I just wrote stream-of-consious, so it may not be fool-proof, but I suppose what I set out to say (whether or not I suceeded) is this... for those who would say that PnP RPGs are stuck in the rut of uniformity that we can't escape from:
Give it some time. You speak too soon.