Pineapple Express: Someone Is Wrong on the Internet?

[dragoner]

This is a thing I run into a lot. I see it mirrored quite a bit in ADHD spaces, but it's most likely a general human thing. When asked why I did something, I explain. Whether the person accepts that as reasonable or not will generally dictate whether they call that a reason or an excuse. If it's reasonable to them, it's a reason. If it's not reasonable to them, it's an excuse.

Words are weird like that. They don't tend to have fixed meanings outside of technical jargon. Take the word "jerk" as one example. What one person considers being a jerk another would consider being perfectly normal. Some people see calling someone on their BS as being a jerk, others see it as perfectly normal. It all depends on culture and context.

The internet has shined a spotlight on just how fractured and divergent cultures and contexts are. The idea of universal codes of conduct for a large and diverse gathering of people is nonsensical on its face. Something even as seemingly simple as "don't be a jerk" means wildly different things to different people, cultures, and contexts. To say nothing of adding neurodiversity into the mix.

I think it is commendable to try to explain, that is a good thing. You are right, it is terribly complex. Sometimes people are just having a bad day.

Context is interesting, esp in the culture surrounding it: High-context and low-context cultures - Wikipedia

I think I would call RPG's low context, maybe.

 

[overgeeked]

I think it is commendable to try to explain, that is a good thing. You are right, it is terribly complex. Sometimes people are just having a bad day.

Context is interesting, esp in the culture surrounding it: High-context and low-context cultures - Wikipedia

I think I would call RPG's low context, maybe.

Right. But that's part of the point. Even in a "unified" community such as RPGs, you're not going to have anything approaching a universal meaning for words or behavior. We still have people from all over the world, from different cultures and contexts, all interacting and trying to get along. Expecting simplistic and undefined standards of behavior, even something as seemingly obvious as "don't be a jerk" are impossible on their face. Don't be a jerk means something wildly different to me than it does to you than it does to just about each and every other person here. That's the point. Even for "tiny" communities such as this, there's nothing approaching universal agreement on proper behavior. Hell, we can't even agree on basic terms necessary to communicate with each other about the hobby we all supposedly share.

 

[Scribe]

Hell, we can't even agree on basic terms necessary to communicate with each other about the hobby we all supposedly share.

Man, I've got disagreements about stuff in my immediate family. Add the internet, and its a non-starter.

 

[Saracenus]

The Internet has always been civil, fight me!

 

[dragoner]

Right. But that's part of the point. Even in a "unified" community such as RPGs, you're not going to have anything approaching a universal meaning for words or behavior. We still have people from all over the world, from different cultures and contexts, all interacting and trying to get along. Expecting simplistic and undefined standards of behavior, even something as seemingly obvious as "don't be a jerk" are impossible on their face. Don't be a jerk means something wildly different to me than it does to you than it does to just about each and every other person here. That's the point. Even for "tiny" communities such as this, there's nothing approaching universal agreement on proper behavior. Hell, we can't even agree on basic terms necessary to communicate with each other about the hobby we all supposedly share.

Intent is important in reading if someone is being a jerk or not, and that is important to how one looks at people in general, either in a negative, or positive way. It is often the only separation between good or bad, if the outcome is similar; what was the intent.

Even where things are more well defined, the article mentions low context cultures such as physics people, the amount of over explaining, and arguing is pretty bad. For us though here, yeah, things like the forge definitions, they are like a verbal hand grenade.

 

[Umbran]

Don't be a jerk means something wildly different to me than it does to you than it does to just about each and every other person here. That's the point.

That may be a point. I am not sure it is "the" point.

Even for "tiny" communities such as this, there's nothing approaching universal agreement on proper behavior.

So?
I think "the" point comes after this. So what if there's nothing approaching universal agreement on behavior?

 

[Hussar]

I learned something new today. I’d never seen anyone claim that rye was an American whiskey. I’d always heard it as Canadian whiskey. I did think that bourbon was considered American.

And in the song, the good old boys are drinking two different kinds of drinks. Not a mix of two different alcohols in one drink.

No one mixes whiskey and rye in the same drink.

 

[Thomas Shey]

Generally I find the only people who think that calling someone on their BS is a jerk are either the one being called out, or their direct supporters. As long as it really is BS, that is.

That last sentence is doing the heavy lifting here, of course.

 

[Thomas Shey]

I would say that derermining if this is a reason or excuse depends largely on the next few lines of dialogue. If a discussion with changed behaviors (by both/either sides) happens, it's a reason with (probably temporary) accommodations. If the second statement is followed up by "... So you'll just have to deal with it," then it's an excuse.

Speaking very broadly, a reason is a starting point for a discussion. An excuse is often an attempt to end (or otherwise avoid) discussion.

Though in that context, sometimes its just clarification that the person either thinks your objections aren't reasonable, or can't bother to do anything about it. Arguably in some cases its not an excuse so much as a clarification (it usually means you have every reason to still object to it, but it does make the situation a bit more clear).

 

[Ryujin]

That last sentence is doing the heavy lifting here, of course.

As intended