Pineapple Express: Someone Is Wrong on the Internet?
- Thread starter Snarf Zagyg
- Start date
Well, given that we are now into the BRUNCH time of year, I thought I would offer my 100%, guaranteed, best-ever recipe to make a Bloody Mary.
You're welcome!
Snarf's Regional Brunch Bloody Mary Recipe
Ingredients
Bottle of vodka
Tomato Juice
Bottle of Worcestershire Sauce
Another Bottle of Vodka
Celery Salt
Garlic Salt
Prepared Hot Horseradish
Tabasco Sauce (or other hot sauce, if you prefer)
Fresh Ground Pepper
Kosher Salt
Tajin
Third Bottle of Vodka
Garnishes (olives, celery, other stuff)
Steps
1. Take a long pull from the vodka bottle.
2. Look at the bottle of Worcestershire sauce. Try to figure out how to pronounce it. Woo-ster?
3. Stir together the tomato juice, horseradish, Worcestershire sauce, celery salt, garlic salt, black pepper, and Tabasco in a large pitcher.
4. Take another pull from the vodka bottle.
5. No, that's not it. WAR-chest-sire!
6. Take another pull from the vodka bottle.
7. Rim the glasses with a mix of celery salt, kosher salt, and Tajin.
8. Wait .... is it like a Cheshire cat? Is that bottle smiling at you? War-shire?
9. Take another pull from the vodka bottle.
10. Look at that rabbit food they call garnishes. Isn't fit to feed a hamster, is it? Throw it on the compost pile.
11. Finish the first bottle of vodka.
12. It's just American soy sauce. That's what you'll call it!
13. Fill a glass with ice and add two ounces of vodka.
14. Look at that blood-red mix you've created. Do you really want to drink that? Naw. Pour it down the drain.
15. Drink the glass of vodka.
16. Really, a W is just two Vs, right? Vorkestershire sauce? Doesn't sound right.
17. Pour several shot glasses with vodka. Top with tabasco sauce. Drink as shooters. YES!
18. What's this here. THAT'S IT!
19-30. You don't remember 19-30.
31. Why did you wake up in the late afternoon on the kitchen floor surrounded by three empty vodka bottles?
Canadian Variant-
Substitute Clamato for the Tomato Juice.
Garnish with a dozen Tim Horton donuts.
You're welcome!
Snarf's Regional Brunch Bloody Mary Recipe
Ingredients
Bottle of vodka
Tomato Juice
Bottle of Worcestershire Sauce
Another Bottle of Vodka
Celery Salt
Garlic Salt
Prepared Hot Horseradish
Tabasco Sauce (or other hot sauce, if you prefer)
Fresh Ground Pepper
Kosher Salt
Tajin
Third Bottle of Vodka
Garnishes (olives, celery, other stuff)
Steps
1. Take a long pull from the vodka bottle.
2. Look at the bottle of Worcestershire sauce. Try to figure out how to pronounce it. Woo-ster?
3. Stir together the tomato juice, horseradish, Worcestershire sauce, celery salt, garlic salt, black pepper, and Tabasco in a large pitcher.
4. Take another pull from the vodka bottle.
5. No, that's not it. WAR-chest-sire!
6. Take another pull from the vodka bottle.
7. Rim the glasses with a mix of celery salt, kosher salt, and Tajin.
8. Wait .... is it like a Cheshire cat? Is that bottle smiling at you? War-shire?
9. Take another pull from the vodka bottle.
10. Look at that rabbit food they call garnishes. Isn't fit to feed a hamster, is it? Throw it on the compost pile.
11. Finish the first bottle of vodka.
12. It's just American soy sauce. That's what you'll call it!
13. Fill a glass with ice and add two ounces of vodka.
14. Look at that blood-red mix you've created. Do you really want to drink that? Naw. Pour it down the drain.
15. Drink the glass of vodka.
16. Really, a W is just two Vs, right? Vorkestershire sauce? Doesn't sound right.
17. Pour several shot glasses with vodka. Top with tabasco sauce. Drink as shooters. YES!
18. What's this here. THAT'S IT!
19-30. You don't remember 19-30.
31. Why did you wake up in the late afternoon on the kitchen floor surrounded by three empty vodka bottles?
Canadian Variant-
Substitute Clamato for the Tomato Juice.
Garnish with a dozen Tim Horton donuts.
trappedslider
Legend
don't make me sweep the leg!
CleverNickName
Limit Break Dancing (He/They)
Taking A Joke Too Far: Bloody Mary Edition.
Excellent joke, well-played, everyone's having a good time. Continue, by all means.
You're pushing it. This is "the line" that you've heard about. Don't cross it. Your joke will have diminishing returns from here onward.
You crossed it. You crossed the line. Your bros might be patting you on the back, but everyone else thinks you're a tool.
You're starting to take things too far. Did you notice your wife has let go of your hand and your friends are all backing away?
What are you even doing?! Nervous chuckles aren't the same as laughter. People are leaving, and it's your fault.
You've taken it way too far. Nobody is laughing because your joke isn't funny. It's not even a joke anymore; it's performance art. Offensive performance art.
Excellent joke, well-played, everyone's having a good time. Continue, by all means.
You're pushing it. This is "the line" that you've heard about. Don't cross it. Your joke will have diminishing returns from here onward.
You crossed it. You crossed the line. Your bros might be patting you on the back, but everyone else thinks you're a tool.
You're starting to take things too far. Did you notice your wife has let go of your hand and your friends are all backing away?
What are you even doing?! Nervous chuckles aren't the same as laughter. People are leaving, and it's your fault.
You've taken it way too far. Nobody is laughing because your joke isn't funny. It's not even a joke anymore; it's performance art. Offensive performance art.
Last edited:
payn
Glory to Marik
I'll take all of it, please.
I ordered a drink, not a five-course meal!
payn
Glory to Marik
CleverNickName
Limit Break Dancing (He/They)
(Took me a minute to settle on the right theme.)
overgeeked
Open-World Sandbox
I’m glad I already had the pineapple on ignore, because damn.
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