Pineapple Express: Someone Is Wrong on the Internet?

[RealAlHazred]

And, again, this will probably be me some day...

 

[J.Quondam]

I don't know about that.

Another story about my dad. He is the cheapest man I've ever known. When Germany had a particularly good team going into the World Cup, he wanted to watch it but he didn't want to pay for a new antenna and the cheap one we had didn't pick up the UHF channels too well. So he convinced a salesman at the TV shop to let him try out a better antenna for one week -- the one week he needed to watch the World Cup finals. With his friend's help from across the street, he put it on the roof, watched World Cup matches every evening, and then took it down the following Sunday so he wouldn't get charged for it.

He got his friend to help him take it down, then sent him home while he stayed on the roof "to clean out a couple of gutters." When he went to take the ladder down to the deck, it slipped -- it had rained earlier that day, and with a wooden deck and an old, cheap wooden ladder with no rubber feet, it was a predictable accident.

My mom was trimming her tomato plants and heard a loud thump. She looked up, and couldn't see anything from where she was. As she walked up the stairs to the deck, she saw my dad unconscious and bleeding. As she got close, he suddenly came to with a start, sat up straight, and said, "NO DOCTORS!"

Narrator: "But there were, in fact, doctors."

He'd broken both bones in one forearm, and his glasses breaking on the way down had given him a nasty cut above one eye which needed seven stitches to close.

So, he's a warrior.

Just... not a particularly smart one.

But did he get the antenna returned in time to avoid paying for it?

 

[payn]

But did he get the antenna returned in time to avoid paying for it?

I bet it was cheaper to buy than a new set of glasses!

 

[trappedslider]

 

[Ryujin]

I don't know about that.

Another story about my dad. He is the cheapest man I've ever known. When Germany had a particularly good team going into the World Cup, he wanted to watch it but he didn't want to pay for a new antenna and the cheap one we had didn't pick up the UHF channels too well. So he convinced a salesman at the TV shop to let him try out a better antenna for one week -- the one week he needed to watch the World Cup finals. With his friend's help from across the street, he put it on the roof, watched World Cup matches every evening, and then took it down the following Sunday so he wouldn't get charged for it.

He got his friend to help him take it down, then sent him home while he stayed on the roof "to clean out a couple of gutters." When he went to take the ladder down to the deck, it slipped -- it had rained earlier that day, and with a wooden deck and an old, cheap wooden ladder with no rubber feet, it was a predictable accident.

My mom was trimming her tomato plants and heard a loud thump. She looked up, and couldn't see anything from where she was. As she walked up the stairs to the deck, she saw my dad unconscious and bleeding. As she got close, he suddenly came to with a start, sat up straight, and said, "NO DOCTORS!"

Narrator: "But there were, in fact, doctors."

He'd broken both bones in one forearm, and his glasses breaking on the way down had given him a nasty cut above one eye which needed seven stitches to close.

So, he's a warrior.

Just... not a particularly smart one.

Sounds like a Ferengi to me.

 

[payn]

Sounds like a Ferengi to me.

Na, Fetengi would have sued the TV antenna shop for selling him something so dangerous.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

But the Akkadians?

Or better still, the Acadians! Ah-yeeee!

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

View attachment 367096

You may laugh- I certainly did- but our family routinely orders massive sandwiches and cuts them up for sharing. I don’t mean just subs of various kinds, either.

Weinberger’s Deli is a sandwich shop maybe 20 minutes from our house, owned & operated by a dude who teaches sandwich making at the culinary institute. He makes his mufalata/muffaletta on a 10” round bun, and it’s about 2+” thick. A quarter of one is similar in mass to a typical sandwich. Schlotzky’s Large Original is similarly sized. We jokingly call them “meat cakes”.

 

[Gradine]

 

[RealAlHazred]

But did he get the antenna returned in time to avoid paying for it?

Yes. My mom wouldn't do it, so he brought it back with his arm still in a cast. I think the sales guy was so relieved not to be sued that he didn't care about the obvious shenanigans going on here.

I bet it was cheaper to buy than a new set of glasses!

I tell my wife, my family's motto is probably, "Penny wise, pound foolish."