Player schticks that grind your gears

[Menexenus]

Mr. (and Ms.) "My character flaws are actually in-game benefits"

Ok, I've got to vent about what my players did last week. My game leans more towards combat than intensive role-playing. But I try to keep up some semblance of playing a character by asking my players a question about their characters each week. Last week, I asked them to come up with some quirk/hook/annoying habit for their character. The idea was for them to come up with something that would let them slide into the character's point-of-view a bit more easily around the gaming table.

Here's what I got from the monk/ranger's player:
My character's annoying habit is that he always has his quarterstaff out.

Here's what I got from the rogue's player:
My character is paranoid and is always checking everything for traps.

:\ Give a player a chance to add something unique to their characters, and you can bet they will always try to turn it into an in-game benefit.

 

[Pbartender]

"Mr. Impractical Character Concept"

On a related note...

"I Want My Character to Be Different, Just Like Everybody Else..."

These are the guys who play a Vampire Were-Shark Half-Celestial Half-Dragon Half-Fiend Svrifneblin Monk/Paladin/Sorcerer/Eldritch Knight/Horizon Walker/Shadow Dancer with a floating, flaming skull for a familiar, a pseudonatural dire bat for a mount, and a gnomish hook hammer with one end that's adamantine and the other end cold iron.

The trouble caused by this sort of player in the campaign is directly proportional to the square of the number of this type of player.

The IWMCtBDJLEE is often seen used in conjonction with The Nonfactor, The Mr. Impractical Character Concept, The So-Called Invincible Character, The Grass is "Cooler" on the Other Side, Mr. Unraveling Character, I Have This Character From Another Game.... and The dark, Mysterious Basa$$ Loner.

 

[Mark Chance]

Mr. (and Ms.) "My character flaws are actually in-game benefits"

...

Here's what I got from the monk/ranger's player:
My character's annoying habit is that he always has his quarterstaff out.

As opposed to what? In it's scabbard? Folded up in his backpack?

Here's what I got from the rogue's player:
My character is paranoid and is always checking everything for traps.

This is just absolutely impractical. A Search check requires a full-round action at a minimum. The character who takes time to check everything (and, since he's paranoid, would obviously take 20, thus increasing time necessary by a factor of 20) would never manage to leave the house in the morning.

 

[Hussar]

To be fair, I have a terrible memory for names and in game names are doubly bad. I do take notes during the game, but, invariably, I forget to write someone's name down and that NPC becomes the focus of an entire session. Usually I simply plead stupidity and the DM lets me off the hook.

OTOH, I don't forget the other stuff usually.

My player schtick:

What do you mean the game starts at nine? This wingnut invariable shows up twenty or thirty minutes late, if he shows at all. For the longest time, I used to be wussy about this and forgive it. Now, they get three strikes and the boot. I can make the time, so can you. If you can't, take the thirty seconds out of your busy schedule of GTA and drop me a line.

Mr. Generic Player who invariably creates a character so incredibly bland that six months into the campaign, the other players turn to him and ask him what race his character is and are shocked when he tells them. Same with gender and possibly even class.

 

[Kid Socrates]

My choices:

Captain Complication: Sometimes the quickest route between Point A and Point B is a straight line. I'm more than okay with creativity. I love it. Do things to keep me guessing. But when someone steals your ship, sometimes the quickest way to get it back is to go back and take it. Not tell the thief that you'll negotiate, tell marginally-related NPC that his booty call is trapped on the ship, call other party to have them get their ship so you can board and take back the ship, and then call completely unrelated NPC and tell them the archvillain is on the ship so they should blow it up (while your crew is still aboard). What could have been an easy, if daring, rescue turned into a world-class hullabaloo, and it's a miracle their crew wasn't killed.

Corporal Chatter: Stop talking! Stop stop stop stop stop! Game now! Unrelated anecdote later! It wouldn't be a big deal if it's one or two, but let this one go and it'll be 15 minutes before you're back to the second round of combat.

 

[lukelightning]

5. The dark, mysterious basa$$ loner. You know the guy, the one that never works with the group, always going off on his own...

In my experience this is self-correcting. "Screw you guys, I'm going down this dark corridor alone" is a common epitaph on the graves of adventurers.

 

[BlueBlackRed]

I'm not responisble for myself, so the rest of you will have to work around my problems.
This player has a condition that he just can't help having, but it detracts from the game and makes other players not want to show if he does.
My experiences are with a guy who couldn't wash himself or wear clean clothes on a daily basis and another fellow with a case of ADHD so bad that if there was silence for more than 10 seconds he just had to fill it up with an inane conversation of something no one else was interested in.
I'm not even sure whether I should mention the guy who needed adult daipers...

I'm going to hog the DM's time tonight with role-playing.
This guy just has to be in the spotlight for half the night. And if you try to stop him, you're going to get ridiculed for ruining his plan.

I've played every game out there and I'm bored.
This guy should have never showed up to the game because no matter what you've done, he's been there, done that, and did it better than ever could.

Joe Genero!
This guy doesn't do anything to make his character special and his stat scores range from 9 to 12. Barely qualified for the fighter class, and is always the monster's plaything.
A.k.a. - The XP Sponge

 

[Agent Oracle]

I have a player who will open rulebooks and read while we're role-playing.

<raises hand> Guilty </hand> I still SPEAK during roleplay, heck, I've recently begun writing elaborate backstories for my characters and giving them funny accents. And I regularly participate, but if the roleplay is gettign heavy, i'll crack open a book and learn a little more about the rules.

 

[Hussar]

Thought of another one.

My character will NOT interact True story. The party successfully ends the threat of the grell and receive their just reward from the local lady of the area. Her home is underground and she invites the party to a feast. Said player decides half way through things that his character is suddenly claustrophobic and leaves. Just leaves. Doesn't excuse himself from the table where the noble lady is dining. Just up and walks out.

I thought he was kidding and kept going with the party. Turned to the player and asked him a question. He said, "Why are you talking to me? I'm not there."

I was so non-plussed I really didn't know what to do.

Sorry, while the angst ridden quiet type is certainly an archetype in fantasy, it makes for piss poor role play. Even those with serious attitude problems still interact with those around them. Sitting in the corner being silent is NOT playing a character.

 

[lukelightning]

I have an incompetant character but you can't complain because it's an "interesting concept." These are all those folks who think it's cool to play a melee fighter with a 4 strength or senile/daft/wild mages who can barely cast spells.

These things are fine in stories. But if I was adventuring with Sir Wimpy the Paladin with 6 Strength and 8 Wisdom I'd kick him out. You don't have to be a powergamer or min-maxed, but you do have to at least support the party and not be a liability.