Player who can't get the numbers right

[malladin]

Worry about your own character and let other people worry about theirs. Seriously not everyone has an interest in the same areas of a game, there's plenty of examples of players just not being interested in mechanics but enjoying the roleplaying in this thread, and I've seen it too. If it's a problem for the group then as a whole something needs to change. If it's not maybe your the problem not her as other people aren't bothered and you need a different group. Ultimately, tthere's no minimum standard of knowledge for RPGs, you just play with people for fun. If your judging people by how they roleplay, thats the general you, its arrogance and elitism and those things kill the hobby.

 

[Wolfwood2]

Worry about your own character and let other people worry about theirs.

I do try. I think my difficulty comes in the fact that D&D is a team game. There's a certain balance between minding your own business and looking out to see that the party/team is doing well.

Seriously not everyone has an interest in the same areas of a game, there's plenty of examples of players just not being interested in mechanics but enjoying the roleplaying in this thread, and I've seen it too. If it's a problem for the group then as a whole something needs to change. If it's not maybe your the problem not her as other people aren't bothered and you need a different group.

Well, I'd say it's her problem in the sense that she ends up feeling frustrated and tense about my second-guessing her, while I only feel mildly guilty about being the cause of her frustration. This thread isn't so much, "Help another player is causing me problems!" as "Help, I'm causing problems for another player and I'm self-aware enough to feel bad about it!"

And while I do feel bad enough about it to try and modify my behavior, I don't feel bad enough to go out and find another group just so I can be less annoying.

 

[Mark]

If the DM and the other players are not having a problem with her, it might be that the only way to resolve it is for you to look elsewhere for a game that is satisfying to you. Perhaps you (like someone up thread said) need to move further from her and ignore her dice and rolling. Leave it to someone lse to correct her if need be or allow the DM to sort out whether or not the behavior is actually a problem, without your interjections. If you find that no one else seems to mind and they are accepting of how the game progresses, it might be time for you to move on (if you cannot also be accepting).

What does the DM say about all of this?

 

[Wolfwood2]

If the DM and the other players are not having a problem with her, it might be that the only way to resolve it is for you to look elsewhere for a game that is satisfying to you. Perhaps you (like someone up thread said) need to move further from her and ignore her dice and rolling. Leave it to someone lse to correct her if need be or allow the DM to sort out whether or not the behavior is actually a problem, without your interjections. If you find that no one else seems to mind and they are accepting of how the game progresses, it might be time for you to move on (if you cannot also be accepting).

The game is satisfying for me. Again, I'm not the one who is unhappy. I'm concerned that I'm making someone else unhappy. Why would I move on?

What does the DM say about all of this?

Nothing. It's not like the lady's unhappiness is disrupting the game. And you shouldn't get the wrong impression here. I'm not exactly making the game a never-ending pit of misery and despair for her. I just think I'm getting on her nerves is all.

 

[doghead]

general - player can't get numbers

My advice would be 'take a deep breath and let it go.' Of course, its kind of easy for me to say because:

1) all those dinky little bonuses get on ... up my nose also and I wouldn't really care if people are ball-parking it, so long as no-one is trying to get an advantage and everyone is having fun, and

2) its easy to give advice.

It may not be making you unhappy, but feeling bad about how your response if affecting the other player is detracting from you enjoyment of the game to some degree.

If you do want to do something, I'd suggest something along the lines of Tallarn and roguerouge - tell her you enjoy gaming with her, admit that her difficulty with the numbers drives you to distraction, apologise for having been cranky and offer help if she wants it. If so, there are several approaches suggested here that you could try.

She may not take up your offer, but maybe just dealing with it will make you feel better, and more able to let it go.

doghead
aka thotd

 

[Man in the Funny Hat]

Sigh. More venting than asking advice here. I feel a little bad about today's game, because I think she left in a bad mood and it might (or might not) be because of me.

Don't tell us - TELL HER!

COMMUNICATION. More is ALWAYS better.

 

[delericho]

1) Audit every sheet, every level. Sometimes it's the only way. If I'm messing stuff up, at least it's all messed up.

This is essentially what I do, as well. In my case, it's largely because we use the Mad Irishman's character forms, and I have the PDF editor. So, I take charge of the character sheets between sessions, and provide the players with clean new sheets at each level. This allows faster levelling (as the players only have to make the 'choices' for levelling - the sheet will update all the totals), and it allows me to keep tabs on their rules-fu, wealth vs the guidelines, and other such things.

It really works quite well. (I should note that I don't actually have any players who don't know the rules - the forms just make things easier.)

If the player in question is playing a barbarian, I would recommend doing two 'front page' sheets - one each showing the real stats and the raging stats, with all the modifiers worked out (this is quite easy with an electronic form, obviously). Then, when her character rages, she just needs to flip the page. Additionally, if she's getting a new sheet every level, she can write modifiers directly on her current sheet, erase and cross them out, and generally do whatever is needed to help her remember, without worrying about destroying her one and only character sheet.

 

[Delta]

Don't tell us - TELL HER!

COMMUNICATION. More is ALWAYS better.

Disagree on that principle.