Player with D&D Game Problem - Advice requested!

[Hedrin]

Unfortunately this town is in the middle of nowhere and it looks like this quest will take us all over the map! To the Lake of Steam next, Calimshan, and then Athkatla in Amn. Oh yeah, none of the rest of my party know about that last one yet.

I can easily see at least two members of the group (Rock & Nekaya) make Camber their base of adventuring after this event, protecting and supporting it while they are there, travelling out from it to fulfill their quests otherwise, maybe training a few people in their downtime to watch out for the village while they are gone.

 

[Jubilee]

Thanks to everyone for your honesty (even the brutal parts). You've made me laugh at myself and cry a little too, but I'm feeling better. I have a plan of action to help me direct some character-anger in the right direction so it's no longer making me bitter and upset. It may or may not take Nekaya out of the game perminently - I'm still not sure which I'd prefer - but I'm certainly not quitting the game entirely.

@Zora - I tend to keep my stronger game-feelings to myself during games mostly because the smallest bit of stress (yes, even imaginary stress) tends to start me crying if I'm not very, very controlled about it. I'm sure no one would have fun if I started weeping every session (the GM especially would not have fun).

@Hedrin - Thanks for catching my numerical error. I guess everyone thought i was pretty nutty for fussing so much over losing 23 people in my original post. Your character thoughts & your story about the last campaign have given me some things to think about, thank you.

/ali

 

[Hedrin]

I (as a character and/or as party) would have stayed and investigated further, rather than wander off on another task or errand.

What is happening here is that an old adventuring party got back together for one last holy quest, in part for the leader's need for redemption at siring a daughter (me) with a woman married to another man. These characters brought along their current students/apprentices, and that's our group. They left us behind while they went off to the first task in their quest. It proved their undoing and we are left to try and find out what happened to them, rescue any survivors is possible, and to complete their quest. Failing this quest could mean destruction for all the Realms, so we didn't just "wander off". We have things to do with little time to do them, and our first task is to find out what it is we need to do as we know very little about the actual quest!

 

[Jubilee]

So, the DM has given you something you're suposed to really care about. Have your characters act like they care! Do you care about the Lake of Steam or Calimport? To heck with this trip to do a wizard's bidding! You are a paladin, and there's justice to be done, backed by personal righteous ire to boot! So, go do some booting!

If the evil-doers are already dead, good for you! But, obviously there's still some guilt residing in you. You must atone. Taht means quests and good deeds, and perhaps a late delivery for your poor wizard...

Never throw away an excuse for good drama in a rpg, I say

I think going after the Elder that got away is what I would most like to do, and what seems like the most reasonable thing for the Paladin to do. She is, afterall, a Paladin of Horus-Re, and Retribution is one of his "Things."

The problem is:

One of the characters in the group is a Sorceress from Halruua who cannot or will not return there.

Another character in the group is the daughter of one of the missing people we're ostensiably on a mission to discover - Calimport is believed to be a place where we can get information as to what they were doing and perhaps retrace their steps to figure out where they are. Another character is the aformentioned character's half-brother and will likely want to go with her.

Another character is the husband of one of the missing.

There's 2 other characters that I couldn't say for sure what they'd do when faced with bringing the bad guy to justice vs. finding their missing friends. One of them owes a debt to one of the missing and the other was an apprentice/assistant of sorts to one of the missing.

In all likelyhood, pursuing vengeance means the Paladin leaving the group, maybe taking 2 with her, with 4 wanting to continue on with our other tasks. I'm not sure how breaking up the group is a good roleplaying opportunity. =(

/ali

 

[Thornir Alekeg]

As the (former) DM of a group that included my wife, I would like to offer a couple of comments:

Jubilee: I don't think "suck it up and emotionally distance yourself from the character" is the right thing. I do think you need to examine the separation between your emotions and your characters, but "sucking it up" and "emotionally distancing" sound too much like you will just stop caring about the character completely. Don't do that.

I was wondering if you think you might not be as personally upset if the DM were not your husband? My wife and I went through this a bit. We share so much together and trust each other so much, but we had to understand that in D&D, I as DM had to have secrets and would occasionally do things to the party, and even her character, that she might not like. None of it was personal in nature, I just did what I thought would be best for the enjoyment and challenge to everyone.

To me, this whole thing sounds great and it sounds like you have a great group. Remember that it is only a game. Try to think of what your character would do in that situation looking forward, not how it hurt you and/or your character looking back.

 

[Geron Raveneye]

One thing to keep in mind: justice has a long, loooooong memory, and keeping a tab on an evil person is okay as long as you remember to come back after him after you and your friends saved the Realms. Think of Frodo and his friends returning to the Shires after saving Middle Earth, to find Saruman and Grima harassing the halflings and settling the tab with them. Sometimes there's just too much evil around for one paladin to deal with by himself, and it sounds like yours has her hands full to the top of her head already.

Of course, if time allows, and some of the others would go along with it, you could suggest a side-trek game of a group of surviving villagers, perhaps trained by your paladin and the others, setting out to bring that Halruuan Elder to justice.

 

[Hedrin]

In all likelyhood, pursuing vengeance means the Paladin leaving the group, maybe taking 2 with her, with 4 wanting to continue on with our other tasks.

Nekaya, I cannot council you to leave for Halruua to seek vengence. To attack an Elder of Halruua, on Halruuan soil is suicide plain and simple. If he were right here, right now, I'd be beside you all the way in the race to attack him, but he's probably retreated back to the safety of his position. To throw your life away on a minor chance for revenge is a pointless gesture and the shades of Camber will gain nothing except a new companion.

I firmly believe that there will come a time and a place for our revenge.

Liadan

 

[LostSoul]

I'm not sure if Jubilee could have prevented the attack.

I don't think it's a good idea to get the players invested in something that they didn't have a (reasonable) chance to protect from destruction. Do that too often and the players are not going to care about anything.

I think it would have been better if the players had to choose between the destruction of the town and some other, equally desired thing. That would be cool.

 

[Raloc]

If the GM were anyone other than my husband, and the game were at any place other than our house, I would be sorely tempted to drop out of the game. The idea of continuing makes me sad and depressed. However, quitting is not an option, so here are the options I have come up with:

1. Suck it up, try to distance myself emotionally from the character, and stop empathizing so much. This is probably the most difficult for me pesonally but the least disruptive option. Knowing myself, it'll also leave me lackluster and depressed about the game, and bound to have repercussions on my relationship with my husband.

2. Find a way to cut the character loose and make a new one. Also a difficult option because I would like to see the character's story finish. Plus, adding a new character to the group is always tricky and it was hard enough to fit in the first time.

3. Take a temporary hiatus for the character, to meet up with the party in Calimport after their errand in the Lake of Steam. The GM has agreed to allow me to play another character in the interim. A person seen as a temporary addition would probably be less disruptive to the party as a whole, it would give me the time and distance that I need, and it would allow the character to do some kind of pennace and have some closure on the situation.

Any other suggestions? Want to help me put this in a better perspective? Which option would you pick, and why?

Why are there no options for dealing with the situation in character? Do you feel that there aren't any possible ways to resolve it in game? It seems to me that the afore mentioned situation would be perfect to roleplay your character seeking to right the situation and and least liberate the town, even if the people are gone. Alternatively, you could ask if you could go back and play your character differently in the situation, as the information about the Wizard wanting to keep his location secret was not apparent at the time?

 

[Raloc]

Unfortunately this town is in the middle of nowhere and it looks like this quest will take us all over the map! To the Lake of Steam next, Calimshan, and then Athkatla in Amn. Oh yeah, none of the rest of my party know about that last one yet.

Hehe, I dragged my players through those places myself, though in different order (from Waterdeep to Athkatla, to Calimshan and up through the Lake of Steam and on to the Pirate Isles).