Presto2112
Explorer
Voadam said:
But you have to make sure they all attack one at a time, and the rest hold back until the attacker falls.
Voadam said:
Jeez, man, don't forget the parrot!
Please help - cliches needed
But you have to make sure they all attack one at a time, and the rest hold back until the attacker falls.
Jeez, man, don't forget the parrot!
Brother MacLaren
Explorer
You gotta have orc and pie.
Or the gelatinous pie monster that wields an orc in its pseudopod as a weapon.
Or the gelatinous pie monster that wields an orc in its pseudopod as a weapon.
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A secret society comprising of rouges, wizards and clerics, that has figured out how to help each other level. They hire an empty dungeon, one of the rouge stocks it with traps, another rouge with a 'party of wizards and clerics' behind him finds and disarms them. The wizards then stage golem fights to level the rouge placing the traps and the cycle starts again. The clerics are there to make sure that anyone hurt gets healed/ raised.
The money you need to feed the dungeon to make traps and to make the golems comes from a scheme mostly operated by the clerics but brought to the public by rouges "door knocking". The rouge sell insurance; not their usual kind: "pay or we beat you up" kind. But proper insurance; even better than the real world stuff.
The policy is something like accidental death: "If you get an accident and die we will raise you." Sell it too enough people, get the ratio of risk right and you're onto a winner!
Similarly health insurance: "We'll regenerate any limb that you loose in an accident."
There are likely more possibilities/ policy types....
The money you need to feed the dungeon to make traps and to make the golems comes from a scheme mostly operated by the clerics but brought to the public by rouges "door knocking". The rouge sell insurance; not their usual kind: "pay or we beat you up" kind. But proper insurance; even better than the real world stuff.
The policy is something like accidental death: "If you get an accident and die we will raise you." Sell it too enough people, get the ratio of risk right and you're onto a winner!
Similarly health insurance: "We'll regenerate any limb that you loose in an accident."
There are likely more possibilities/ policy types....
Arctic Juggernaut
First Post
Very funny stuff in this thread. I love the maintenance guys! 
Here's my stuff:
The dwarves, in their pride and greed, delve too deeply and...
...awaken a cranky Balrog who sues them for trespass and violation of his mineral rights.
...encounter greedy, prideful dwarves from the other side of the world who have also delved too deeply, thus creating a handy shortcut through the center of the planet.
...flood their basement.
...have to shut down their mines by government edict due to toxic mold, Radon, Carbon Monoxide, etc.
The Evil Wizard amasses his vast armies of Orcs and Goblins for an all-out assault on the besieged Kingdom-of-the-Good-Guys, but is confronted by representatives of the Brotherhood of Orcish Combat Workers (BOCW, Local 242) demanding more pay, better equipment ("Half our guys are carrying clubs, for goodness sake!"), and a health plan. Goblin labor leaders threaten to walk off the job if the E.W. doesn't do something to fix the hostile work-environment the Orcs are creating for them.
Mind Flayers speak with a lisp and are self-conscious about their slimy, soft heads.
Beholders go in for elaborate corrective lenses and occasionally have to stop in mid-battle because one of their contacts lenses has come out.
I don't know if those are really cliches, but I made myself laugh thinking them up, so I hope you like 'em...
Here's my stuff:
The dwarves, in their pride and greed, delve too deeply and...
...awaken a cranky Balrog who sues them for trespass and violation of his mineral rights.
...encounter greedy, prideful dwarves from the other side of the world who have also delved too deeply, thus creating a handy shortcut through the center of the planet.
...flood their basement.
...have to shut down their mines by government edict due to toxic mold, Radon, Carbon Monoxide, etc.
The Evil Wizard amasses his vast armies of Orcs and Goblins for an all-out assault on the besieged Kingdom-of-the-Good-Guys, but is confronted by representatives of the Brotherhood of Orcish Combat Workers (BOCW, Local 242) demanding more pay, better equipment ("Half our guys are carrying clubs, for goodness sake!"), and a health plan. Goblin labor leaders threaten to walk off the job if the E.W. doesn't do something to fix the hostile work-environment the Orcs are creating for them.
Mind Flayers speak with a lisp and are self-conscious about their slimy, soft heads.
Beholders go in for elaborate corrective lenses and occasionally have to stop in mid-battle because one of their contacts lenses has come out.
I don't know if those are really cliches, but I made myself laugh thinking them up, so I hope you like 'em...
ivocaliban
First Post
Well, this isn't my thread, but those are hilarious! Especially the Dwarven miners and Orcish Teamsters. Heck, if my players had a sense a humor I'd run a campaign of this nature...and I'd certainly swipe those ideas.
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