Schmuck [General]
You are a pitiful gamer.
Benefit: You wine, complain, bitch, gripe, and throw temper tantrums more than most human beings.
Normal: Without this feat, a character might actually be called “human”, as they are somewhat tolerable.
Special: This feat doesn’t do anything on it’s own, but it is necessary to access many other feats for ruthless gamers.
Shameless [General]
You have no self respect.
Benefit: By having all sense of shame removed from your psyche, there is little that you won’t do to get what you want.
Normal: Most DM’s wouldn’t give you the time of day, no matter what you offer, even if you offered a crap-load of money, you’re that pitiful.
Special: This feat doesn’t actually grant anything, though it does keep you from killing yourself due to shame because of your actions.
Get Whatever You Want [General]
You can get whatever you want from your DM with little fuss.
Prerequisites: Cha 8+, Schmuck, Shameless.
Benefit: You are a schmuck. You know this. Everyone knows this. You don’t care. By sleeping with the DM, you can get just about anything you want, such as a Wish spell granting you a +1 increase to your base attack bonus or another feat. Whenever you use this feat, you must make a Charisma check. The check is set by your DM.
Normal: Without this feat, you just bitch a lot and are simply begging to be buried alive.
Special: My god…you suck. A character with the Shameless feat gains a +2 competence bonus to all Get Whatever You Want checks.
Quick Kill [General]
You can deliver killing blows in the blink of an eye.
Prerequisites: Death Blow, Get Whatever You Want, Schmuck, Shameless.
Benefit: You can perform a coup de grace as a free action as many times per round as you wish. Also, you can do this anytime during the round, even during other people’s actions. Furthermore, performing a coup de grace no longer provokes an attack of opportunity and your target no longer needs to be helpless.
Normal: A coup de grace is a full-round action.
Special: Actually, performing a coup de grace is still a full-round action. Technically, it also still provokes an attack of opportunity. Oh yeah, your opponent still needs to be helpless. Oh, and one more thing, you still can only perform a coup de grace during your action. In truth, this feat doesn’t do an f’ing thing except convince your munchkin-ass pitiful self that you really are doing stuff that’s impossible.