I guess we play D&D totally different. I don't view PCs as pools of HP to be a shared resource. And I don't think every PC has to contribute to every part of the game and am perfectly OK with niche specialization. And I view the contributions mostly from the personality and actions of the PC, not the DPR, or group damage reduction, or any of the other behind the scenes math. That's all secondary.
Cold comfort when the rest of the party is pushing up daisies because you didn't put your character in harm's way to take some of the heat off your allies. Excellent teamwork!
In any case, a secondary consideration is still a consideration, so I guess we don't "play D&D totally different."