Rant: Players who don't DM

[Dannyalcatraz]

I agree with the many previous posters who pointed out that not everyone can DM, and should not be expected to.

In fact, I know of gamers whose fear of DM-ing is almost like most people's fear of public speaking. I won't ask them to DM- EVER.

On the other hand, I can sympathize. I've been gaming for 27 years, most of that in D&D, with a smattering of HERO and Rifts on a regular basis.

However, for 4 years, I was a member of an extraordinary (to me, at least) group of gamers in Austin. Because of several members' variable schedules, we sometimes had DMs who couldn't show up on game night. Somtimes work or school or just general stress made GMing on a particular night simply impossible.

Our solution- Everyone in the group was responsible for running a campaign in one of their preferred systems. Every week, we had a Primary and Backup GM and everyone brought 2 PCs (one for each scheduled campaign, of course). Some of the campaigns were excellent, others pure garbage. Some people ran more than one campaign. Some only ran a series of one-shots or playtests. Some people were never Primaries, serving only as Backups.

End result: Everyone ran at least one game session over the years. We also wound up playing in a bewildering array of systems (GURPS, HERO, Paranoia, MechWarrior, Mekton, D&D, Rifts, ACE, and many others) and genres that improved us all as gamers and GMs, IMHO. I have a folder over 2" thick with PCs from those few years alone.

Its amazing what happens when you push people outside of their gaming comfort zones.

Try this: Ask them directly if they'd like to learn how to GM-offer to co-run an adventure with them. Run the adventure like a class. With someone there to be a safety net, they might find they like it, ending your consternation.

But if your other gamers aren't interested, let it be.

 

[Elf Witch]

I think you are being a little harsh. If someone does not want to DM they should not be expected to and no they don't have to explain themselves. I have been playing for about six years and I am getting ready to DM my first game. I am DMing for my roommate and two other who do not know 3.0 or 3.5 very well and are not into massive combats they would be happy to sit around all night and never roll the dice. Yet I am nervous and basically scared to death. :\

I have played with my main group for a long time and they are great players and DMs I would be pertrfied to DM for them at this time. And not because they are mean or would be unsuportive but because there shoes just seem a little to big for me to fill.

I know if someone put me on the spot or put that much pressure on me to DM I would quit the group. And if that is being a coward then so be it.

You should just come out and ask these girls if they would like to sit behind the screen and if they say no let them be maybe in time they will feel comfertable enough to run a game.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Elf Witch- why don't you ask one of your other gaming buddies for an assist- planning the adventures/campaign, behind the screen or sitting in with the noobs?

It may help soothe your nerves, and having another experienced player around can help out the first timers get into the flow of the game. (The last 2 times I introduced someone to gaming, I had experienced players sit in as players- things went pretty smoothly.)

 

[Vigilance]

I don't think players are *obligated* to DM.

However those who whine or complain about my DMing (this is a very different form of behaviour than "constructive criticism") are frequently met with the response "care to take over?"

If the answer is no, then you have officially lost the right to whine and complain.

Chuck

 

[Bendris Noulg]

And BTW, Jack Chick obviously doesn't know what he's talking about. In most games, Blackleaf would have been risen from the dead.

Nah, he wrote that for an older edition, although it would still fit for better run games under the new edition.

 

[Faerl'Elghinn]

Good points. Some people are just absolutely paralyzed by perfomance anxiety, and many people-especially intellectuals- are often so introverted that it borders on xenophobia. As a borderline agorophobe myself, I can relate, although I am fairly adept at overcoming my anxiety (although I self-medicate with coffee and alcohol, and often overcompensate), and am fairly comfortable with everyone in both of my gaming groups, so I feel reasonably secure about DMing. I think it's often that first step of assuming the role that lies as a barrier to many, and fear can often be almost a tangible thing to some people.

We live in a world where impersonality and outright cruelty coming from every direction often evolves into a variety of powerful psychoses, and in my experience, it is actually very rare to find an adult who has evolved into a fairly well-adjusted person. In today's global society, the individual often becomes so insignificant and undervalued by others that it can be very difficult to properly develop a realistic sense of one's own worth and value under the constant barrage of negative attention.

In summary, I'd like to encourage gamers to try and be a little more understanding of others' unwillingness to step into the spotlight. If it's something with which you're comfortable, great. You perform a valuable service to all of us avid gamers, and your efforts are far from unnoticed and unappreciated. Some people are just blessed with a gift for running the game, and to ignore or belittle it would be a travesty. I often find that when a DM stops resenting the fact that he DMs the majority of the time, he will find that he actually gets more enjoyment out of this role than he can possibly take out of being a player. Stop, take a breath, and think about the tremendous gift you've given to your friends over the years, and maybe you'll find that you've been right where you belong the whole time.