<Rant> Where has courtesy gone?

[Harmon]

To me it’s not about the rude youths of today vs. the ones of yester year, its about rude people in general. People not saying thank you, excuse me, please, etc, and or giving that look that is oh, so common around this area (if you have no idea what I mean the look is one where you feel your life is being threatened).

I know that I am more then likely complaining about a minority here. Perhaps my experience with those more courtesy and kind is lacking because of the way I am perceived. As I implied I feel that people perceive me (sometimes) in the negative while I am trying to be perceived in the positive. Maybe they think I am really an inconsiderate jerk at first sight and think that when I am nice to them that I am trying to get one over on them? It would be nice to be able to see myself as others do. I have seen myself on video and it doesn’t come across that way- maybe it’s a vibe? Hell I don’t know.

Another example of being rude- a couple years back I was coming home from San Jose air port where I had just dropped off my mom. Sitting in snail slow traffic north of Morgan Hill for better then an hour I was pretty frustrated. Traffic starts to pick up when I see the problem. Parked on the other side of the road on the north bound side of the highway (on the fast lane side) there is a pregnant woman, her mini van has a flat, she had been trying to change the tire (but had given up), but she is very, very pregnant. I pull over- on the fast lane side of the southbound, jump out, and jog up the embankment. I introduce myself and ask a really stupid question- “do you need help?”

She’s been crying, she’s trying to be tough, cause this stranger is here and she’s frustrated, and scared. I got her to sit down, returned to my truck for a water (which she looked to need), then worked on changing her tire. She was very thankful, told me that she had been there for two hours and no one would stop to help her. “You were here before traffic started backing up?” I asked (recalling the I had been here about two and a half hours before). She nodded- “I am the reason it’s backed up.”

How many people could have stopped to help her? How many women, kids, guys, were physically able to stop and help her in all that time? I was no longer annoyed at the traffic, but rather the rubber neckers that just wanted to see the upset pregnant woman on the side of the road. She gave me two payments for my kindness- a hug and a thank you, she was so happy she was crying.

Its hard for me to see that and not think of those people as being rude, but they weren’t they were just living their fast paced lives and they could not consider how their in action was effecting others.

Now something to consider- in todays world you can’t stop on the side of the road to help everyone, I know that. Would I have stopped for a group of gang bangers? No. Is that rude of me? Ya, but I have to consider my own safety and the lives of my family and friends (car jackers will take your registration, go to your home and….)

I will be as kind as I can for as long as I can.

Thank you for replying to my thread here, it makes me smile to know that I am not alone.

 

[mojo1701]

I'm one of the younger generation, but my parents still managed to teach me common courtesy. You don't need corporal punishment, you just need to appeal to the tendancies of the generation.

For example; being raised in a relatively high-speed society (mobile phones, email, fast food, microwave meals), I've developed an inner necessity for getting things done the fastest way possible. I dislike unnecessary waiting, as I could better spend that time doing other things.

So to curb my fast talking, low politeness attitude, my mother would constantly correct me, and make me repeat what she said. If I said "yeah," she'd say "yes," and I'd have to say "yes." Same for please, thank you, you're welcome, ma'am, sir, excuse me, etc. It got to the point, where it was more expedient for me to be polite, so I've become polite out of reflex.

Verbal conditioning. It works.

Same here, though it was, in addition to politeness, it was also Polish. And she still does it.

Note: I have found to the contrary, that if you are too polite in retail, people become suspicious. I actually had to curb my polite tendancies, or customers would give me the brush-off, thinking I was just trying to sweet talk them into a sale.

I was at a Boston Pizza (my first and last time, so far, not that I'm going there again if I'm paying) and our waitress was a little TOO polite. She acted as if we were friends. Now, not that I'm against that, but I think it was a little too far when all I wanted was a personal pizza and a drink, and she said to me, "Are you sure?" I don't want to think what that implies. Maybe because I was (and still am, but I'm working on it) a fat kid, but other than that, it wasn't bad.

 

[Hijinks]

About 2 weeks ago, I got home from work and decided to get some exercise by walking the couple of miles or so to the gas station to fill a gas can for my lawnmower. I fully expected a kind stranger (or more than one) to stop and ask me, a woman walking alone with a gas can, whether I needed a ride. Did anyone stop? Not one person in 45 minutes of walking. And this is Iowa - I thought someone would stop. I was disillusioned

Callers from the southern states, on average, seem to be much more polite and gracious than callers from most other parts of the US.

I used to work in customer service. I dealt with a lot of folks from Mississippi. From my personal experience, people from Mississippi are not friendly and polite. What's with the "hah?!?" that they say instead of "excuse me?" or "I beg your pardon?" And the "wayamin" that they repeat over and over again instead of "please wait a moment" or "give me a moment please." Ugh. So glad I don't work there any more.

 

[Rel]

Its hard for me to see that and not think of those people as being rude...

I know it is tough, but I think you would probably be a lot happier if you adjusted your outlook such that you focus more on the pride and enjoyment you get from helping others and less on the fact that other people don't always help one another.

 

[Darth K'Trava]

I have to say, and maybe I'm just old fashioned, that it bugs me when strangers assume that it's OK to call me by my given name even when they know my title and surname. It presumes that we are equal or that I'm inferior which in certain situations isn't the case.

Or you introduce yourself as "James" and then get immediately, "Jim". That pissed a friend of mine off. He has NEVER gone by "Jim" nor been CALLED "Jim" except by morons who think it's a more "friendlier, relaxed" way of addressing him... despite his introduction as "James".... :\

 

[EricNoah]

About 2 weeks ago, I got home from work and decided to get some exercise by walking the couple of miles or so to the gas station to fill a gas can for my lawnmower. I fully expected a kind stranger (or more than one) to stop and ask me, a woman walking alone with a gas can, whether I needed a ride. Did anyone stop? Not one person in 45 minutes of walking. And this is Iowa - I thought someone would stop. I was disillusioned

That's because "kids today" have been taught to avoid strangers because they're most likely axe-wielding psycho killers!

 

[Darth K'Trava]

But we all know you liked it.

I just know someone was gonna go there....

 

[Harmon]

I know it is tough, but I think you would probably be a lot happier if you adjusted your outlook such that you focus more on the pride and enjoyment you get from helping others and less on the fact that other people don't always help one another.

Rel, you are more then likely right- hell, more then likely? I think you are right.

I guess the hope that everyone gives blood every two months is a bit much, that people could smile, be polite and considerate to one another, to treat people how they themselves want to be treated, to say please, and thank you- I guess its just a bit much to ask.

You are quite right- I should stop expecting people to be courtesy and just hope that they can be, that they see the goodness in being kind, that they see it has its own rewards. That should be enough.

Thanks.

 

[Harmon]

That's because "kids today" have been taught to avoid strangers because they're most likely axe-wielding psycho killers!

You mean they might not be?

 

[diaglo]

Not out of me, apparently. As argumentative as I am these days -- even picking a fight on this messageboard with trolls -- I'm just too damn courteous when I go out. I usually let females and elders board the bus first and if I'm the first out of the rear doors, I hold them open.

I guess I'm one of the few that got spanked in their childhood that turned out okay as adults.

you'd better open that door for me...i'm not too old to whoop your ....


where's my cane?