<Rant> Where has courtesy gone?

[Thornir Alekeg]

Talking about too polite reminded me of a time I went to restaurant with my brother-in-law and his wife in the White Mountains. The waitress was way beyond polite and into obnoxious. After each individual thing we ordered she said "Thank you."

I'll have the cheddar burger...
Thank you
...and a side of fries...
Thank you
...and a coke...
Thank you
...and a glass of water...
Thank you

Didn't help that she completely messed up our order, either.

Harmon's encounter with the pregnant woman blows me away. That is just crazy. Hijinks' gas incident I can understand a little better. I think some people figure, "she would probably say no to my help since she wouldn't want to get into the car with a stanger, so I won't bother stopping."

I wonder if the main reason for it all is because everyone is so often in such a hurry. Of course I guess I have also noticed that many people avoid interacting with people they don't know. How many people avoid your eyes, look down or away, as you are walking past them so that they don't feel as if they have to say hello.

 

[Rel]

I guess the hope that everyone gives blood every two months is a bit much, that people could smile, be polite and considerate to one another, to treat people how they themselves want to be treated, to say please, and thank you- I guess its just a bit much to ask.

It isn't too much to ask. Just don't ask all the time and with anger and accusation in your voice. Instead follow your heart, help people where you can and lead by example. Even if nobody else ever follows your example you'll still have helped some folks out who really needed it.

That is no small thing.

I hadn't really thought about it until this moment but I've got a friendly little device that you might want to try out sometime. I call it my "Faith In Humanity Bungee Cord". It works like this:

I drive a pickup truck and for the past two months or so, I've had a green bungee cord sitting in the bed. Anybody who walked past my truck in any of the hundreds of places it has been parked during that time could easily have reached over and stolen my bungee cord. But they haven't.

Does this really reveal all that much about the nature of humanity? Sure it does. It proves that the vast majority of humanity (in North Carolina anyway) are not a bunch of bungee-cord-stealing scum.

I sleep better at night knowing that, don't you?

The Faith In Humanity Bungee Cord - Buy yours today! They're cheap and come in a variety of colors to match the color of any vehicle!

 

[diaglo]

It isn't too much to ask. Just don't ask all the time and with anger and accusation in your voice. Instead follow your heart, help people where you can and lead by example. Even if nobody else ever follows your example you'll still have helped some folks out who really needed it.

That is no small thing.

no good deed goes unpunished nor unfinished

 

[Rel]

no good deed goes unpunished nor unfinished

Well yeah, but at least then you've earned the right to bitch.

 

[Harmon]

I drive a pickup truck and for the past two months or so, I've had a green bungee cord sitting in the bed. Anybody who walked past my truck in any of the hundreds of places it has been parked during that time could easily have reached over and stolen my bungee cord. But they haven't.

Does this really reveal all that much about the nature of humanity? Sure it does. It proves that the vast majority of humanity (in North Carolina anyway) are not a bunch of bungee-cord-stealing scum.

I sleep better at night knowing that, don't you?

No kidding about this-

My first truck I had to buy in a hurry, there was no time to save up, so all my extra coin went into it and I didn't buy a tool box for the first six months or so. The extra cab had my not so often used tools in it, my bucket oh tools and bags went into the back. A bungee held the bucket from sliding around. I had to take my bungee out of the back of my truck every night and any time I went anywhere. Not because I am paranoid did I have to do this- but rather because the first week I was down three bungees. The first one disappeared at my home over night, the next two at other places. Once ina while I would forget, and about 50% of the time I would need to get another bungee.

When I bought my house I got a garage, so that saved on bungees.

California has one of the largest econmies in the world, you would think people would not need to steal bungees, but I guess they are trying to replace the one they lost.

Its funny you should mention that.

Oh, and never leave a flat tire in the back of your truck in Carmel (richest area of Monterey County).

 

[Banshee16]

I agree as well. Unfortunately, I personally find that manners are not being taught to kids these days. My hometown, which is a nice, rural suburb, is even having immense problems with things like vandalism, theft etc. which never used to occur. But increasingly lately, there are 14 and 15 year olds out on the street at 2 am, drinking, yelling, and being a pain. Everyone is scared to say anything, because of fear of having their own homes vandalised.

I was at my girlfriend's baseball game, and had driven to watch. A schoolbus drives up, and parks in the lot, and a busload of teens get out. Apparently on their way to some excursion. They've got beer etc. start talking, leaning against the cars that are parked there by the people at the baseball game, etc. Understandably, some of the people got concerned their cars would get scratched. One guy went to move his car, and the kids had beer cans sitting on his bumper. He asked them to move, and more just came and stood behind his car, until he literally had to push them out of the way with his bumper so they'd get out of his way......

I watch bad manners on a daily basis....

I was in Montreal at the Grand Prix etc. the other week, and rode on the subway. I'm never on the subway, as I have a car, and driver wherever I need. In any case, the subway was busy, and there were few seats. I happened to have one, and the subway stopped, and more people got on, including a young woman. I got up and offered my seat. She didn't even react....just went and found her own. I was told afterwards that people just don't do that (ie. get up to offer their seats to someone else). Nothing improper was intended by my offer. I was leaving the city, already have a girlfriend and was not trying to flirt. But I think she had some bags, whereas I didn't, so I figured it would be polite to let her sit down.

Of course, when I was in University, some of the women I know used to get really upset when guys tried to show manners...pulling out a chair, opening a door, paying the tab if you're out for coffee etc. because it was oonsidered "sexist". Then other women get upset if you don't do it.

Other things...drivers...my city has the worst drivers I've ever seen. Residential neighbourhood, and people are driving like they're in a race. I was working in the yard, and heard someone shouting. Looked up, and a block away at the intersection, there's a car turning from the main road onto our road. She's going slow....appears to be a mother with child in the front seat. The car behind has the guy leaning out his window yelling at her to hurry up, slamming on the horn, etc. Finally, as soon as he's got a bit of space, he squeezes between her and the median, passes her through the opposing lane of traffic on the residential street, and goes racing up the road...must have been doing 80 in the 40 zone.

Or, what's with the whole idea of asking people to do something....like ie. a BBQ, and then nobody responds...everyone is busy discussing amongst each other to find out what their "best plan" is for that afternoon. Then they basically let you know at the last minute, even though you gave them 2 weeks notice?

Or worse, someone agreeing to do something, and then their plans change....something comes up. But instead of telling you that unfortunately they can't make it, they avoid your phone calls, since they know they can't make it? Well, friggin' tell me you can't make it. Then I don't have to spend 3 hours sitting here wondering what's going on, and where you are!

Manners are definitely in short supply, IMO. It's really depressing, actually.

Banshee

 

[Henry]

Oh, and never leave a flat tire in the back of your truck in Carmel (richest area of Monterey County).

The better thieves go to richer areas to steal things.

As for the diminishment of polite society: Whether it's my perception or not, I've noticed it, also, more so around complete strangers. I believe that part of it comes from increasing population, but more from societal changes in the last 100 years -- As western society becomes more civilized, it has also found the cultural room to become less courteous. To quote Robert E. Howard:

Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing. -Robert E. Howard's Conan

 

[fanboy2000]

There's a professor at San Diego City College who has been known to say that she doesn't trust people who are polite, because she finds politeness to be disingenuous.

This makes me angrier than anything Harmon's posted. This woman obviously believes politeness is just the niceties of formal conversation, or protocol. The only way she would be able to get through the day is by other people being polite. Can you imagine if, every time she asked someone a simple question she didn't get an answer, she got told "eff you?"

Thouse who say "respect your elders" but don't respect their youngers exaborate the problem. The only kind of politeness they seem to be interested in is the kind that's directed twords them. Ugh. It's like they think that age has given them the right to be rude, but you better not be rude to them, no sir, because thier old.

I've also noticed a tendancy for adults to teach childern manners as something you do for older people, not for your peers or your youngers.

And usually use "sir" or "ma'am" to customers at work as respect, regardless of age.

I'm the same way. I used to work at a Game Keeper and we held a Pokemon league on the weekends. It was a small store and I often had to say "excuse me sir" to children and young teens. The effect this had was amazing. Far from getting rude responces and blank stares, most everyone simply let me pass. I thanked them and continued on. I've interacted with a lot of children and teenagers because of the pokemon craze and most of them respond well to common courtisy.

I did have a few problems with the adults, but not offten. Usually it was because they didn't understand pokemon cards, the game, or anything else about the phenomena.

 

[fett527]

The better thieves go to richer areas to steal things.

As for the diminishment of polite society: Whether it's my perception or not, I've noticed it, also, more so around complete strangers. I believe that part of it comes from increasing population, but more from societal changes in the last 100 years -- As western society becomes more civilized, it has also found the cultural room to become less courteous. To quote Robert E. Howard:

Best quote of this thread.

 

[Finster]

Unfortunately I find that people are rude in general, have been rude for some time, and will most likely continue to be rude for the forseeable future. At one time it was my own personal crusade to bring courtesy to the masses through example. No more wasting my time with that pipe dream.*

Just let it roll off your back, and find solace in the fact that you will, every once in a while, be treated with the respect and courtesy that you extend to others. Continue to use etiquette and say please and thank you when appropriate. The last thing we need is a convert to the 'dark side'.

* I also had a crusade against the use of the "word" Nuke-Yuh-Ler. We can all see how that went No more crusades for me.