I've played 2 very effective pole-arm warriors in the past year. The DCv1 and the PHBII are your best friends.
The first was a Githzerai Monk/PsyWar/Lucid Cenobite (from Hyperconscious) with a Bisento (an OA/Rokugan polearm) the Expansion Psionic Power and centered around the feats Combat Expertise & Pole Fighter (from DCv1). With his hideously high dex, he had many AoO's, a high AC and initiative bonus (and was pretty good at ranged combat, too). With the DCv1 feat, he could use his polarm as a Monk weapon, including Flurry. The Expansion power allowed him to boost his damage 1 size class early on, then 2 size classes as he gained XP. The Lucid Cenobite PrCl allowed the PC to continue improving his FoB & other combat critical monk abilities alongside developing his psionics. Damage output was nearly that of the party's single-classed Barbarian...and his superior AC and fighting at reach meant he took less damage (less than a level's worth per encounter).
The second was a Human Ftr4/Monk2/Kensai3. The feat selection was similar, but without the PsyWar, I opted for Monkey Grip and used a Greatspear. The Greatspear is one of the best exotic weapons in the game- 2d6x3P base damage + reach + RI 10'. Aiming for the Kensai build requires some work (you need levels in Ride, Diplomacy, and Concentration, as well as Combat Expertise), but the payoff in the PrCl's inherent ability to increase the power of their weapons cannot be understated. In play, this PC's damage output was higher than the party's single-classed Knight's- her already magical large +3 Greatspear was further enhanced with Flame, Frost & Shock due to her Kensai levels (that's 3d6+3P +1d6Fi + 1d6Fr + 1d6El). A Ftr/Clc should be able to qualify for the PrCl by 5th level or so.
Another key feat for my high-dex pole-fighters was Deft Opportunist- it improves the odds of hitting with an AoO by +4.
"Going Big" was also key. Even without Expansion (or the spell Enlarge) or Monkey Grip (or the racial ability Powerful Build), you can acquire potions of Enlarge or similar magics. Its a cheap trick, but a good one.
It may seem counterintuitive, but the old standby Power Attack/Cleave/Greatcleave tree will work well with a well designed high-dex polearm fighter like the ones above- once those AoOs get triggered by foes entering your wider zone of control, you'll initiate a nice damage cascade. Even if you don't finish off opponents, other warriors in the party will.
In each case, I opted to ignore Short Haft (and similar feats) in favor of Improved Unarmed Combat. With a build like yours, I'd go for Armor Spikes. No feat required. Instead, look for a feat that improves your reach- the DCv1 and the PHBII both have one, as does FR and other sources. Its much better to kill your opponents before they get to you than to worry about them getting in close.
I also agree that you should build upon the strengths of the weapon itself. Guisarmes trip- find a way to make yourself a better tripper.