Removing yourself from a gaming group

[rgard]

Been reading the "Kicking out a player: share your stories/advice" thread:

http://www.enworld.org/showthread.php?t=201421

And it got me to wondering about the reverse: how others have extricated themselves from a gaming group.

Did you just stop showing up? Or maybe explain why you wouldn't return? Maybe start a PC war, then leave?

Two groups I left:

1. This group was mostly composed of Pitt (University of Pittsburgh) gamers. I played one session with them (back in 1980) when I was home from school (Go Blue!). The DM rolled all the dice...I mean all the dice and behind his DM screen at that. He'd inform us after a round whether we hit or not and whether we were hit or not. The departure was pleasant enough. I told them I had enjoyed myself, but would have had a better time if I could roll my own dice. I asked the DM if he would ever allow the players to roll their own dice; he said no. I thanked him for the D&D session and told him it wasn't a good fit.

2. The second group I left was with some guys I met (back in 1997 or so) at a Gamekeeper chain shop in Tysons Corner, VA. Struck up a conversation with some others looking at 2E stuff and they ended up inviting me to their game the following Friday night. It was a high level 1E/2E hybrid campaign.

I show up with my high level 1E Magic User, the DM reviews and approves the character and we get started after some metagaming intros. The group consists of the 2 guys I met at the store, the DM and 2 other players. The next thing I know, one of the players (one who initially invited me) passes the DM a note, DM reads it and tells me to roll for surprise. Huh? Yep, the player who invited me had his character attack my MU. My MU takes a boatload of damage, but makes a save against some magical effect from the weapon used.

I have my MU beat feet from the area of the attack. Everybody is then passing the DM notes (including me). To simplify things I am moved to the kitchen and the DM moves between the living room and the kitchen during each round. Long story short, my MU killed all of them bar the Druid who took no offensive action against my MU. I took all their stuff.

The one player (who started the pc fight) gets irate and I find myself being told to leave the appartment. The DM follows me out and apologizes saying he had never seen the players behave that way. I was baffled by the entire experience.

To truly make this bizarre, I was invited back for the following session by the DM as he said the players wanted a second crack at my MU. I thanked him, but said I thought it not a good idea....besides, I had all their stuff.

Thanks,
Rich

 

[Treebore]

Yikes!

Every time I extricate myself from a game I tell the DM/GM why. Mostly because I would want the same courtesy shown to me when I am the DM/GM.

A few times things ended up even being fixable.

 

[rgard]

Yikes!

Every time I extricate myself from a game I tell the DM/GM why. Mostly because I would want the same courtesy shown to me when I am the DM/GM.

A few times things ended up even being fixable.

Thanks. Yikes is right. I never has something that weird happen before or since.

 

[buzz]

The DM rolled all the dice...I mean all the dice and behind his DM screen at that. He'd inform us after a round whether we hit or not and whether we were hit or not.
...
The next thing I know, one of the players (one who initially invited me) passes the DM a note, DM reads it and tells me to roll for surprise.

Everybody is then passing the DM notes (including me).

Those are some seriously crappy groups, rgard. DM-rolls-everything and frequent note-passing are big, honkin' red flags, IMO.

I recently left a group I'd been gaming with for a little over four years. I emailed them that the next session was going to be my last with the group for a while. While I did not come right out and say that I wasn't enjoying the group's habitual mode of play any more, I did say that I was both burned out on the system we were using, and that I needed to cut back on my gaming a bit to make room for "real life," which were both still true. I figured there was no point to singling out their play style as an issue, though, as they all seem happy with it.

While I think it's unlikely that I'll game with them again, I left the door open. Save for one guy, I like all of them a great deal as people. I just came to realize that I didn't like gaming with them, at least the way they play now.

 

[Alan Shutko]

I let the GM know why. Last time, it was a well-run game, it just wasn't my cup of tea. I'd rather let the Gm know so the group can find another player rather than wait and wonder.

 

[WayneLigon]

Did you just stop showing up? Or maybe explain why you wouldn't return? Maybe start a PC war, then leave?

I thanked him for the D&D session and told him it wasn't a good fit.

Wow, those are some really bizarre groups. I've usually gone for the 'not a good fit' option when I've left groups, or 'sorry, I don't much care for Game X'.

 

[rgard]

Wow, those are some really bizarre groups. I've usually gone for the 'not a good fit' option when I've left groups, or 'sorry, I don't much care for Game X'.

Well, to put it in perspective. Those were 2 groups I played in, out of 20+, over the past 30 years. Moved around alot in the army and for civilian work after that. None of the others were like those 2.

Thanks,
Rich

 

[crazy_monkey1956]

While in the Navy, I was looking for a temporary gaming group at Great Lakes Naval Station, Illinois while waiting to be transferred to my A-School.

I found a group that played at the on-base rec center and brought in a 3.0 blind monk. The DM claimed that he ran "Original D&D as it was meant to be played," which, he explained, was played without rulebooks or even rules but was made up at the DMs whim during the session. The characters at the table covered several editions of D&D, a Rifts character (created with Rifts rules and all) and something else I was unfamiliar with.

He explained a little of his world, which sounded interesting enough, and then went on to describe how each of our characters was involved in the quest.

I had already cleared with him having a character born blind and adapted to it, with pearls resting in his otherwise empty eye-sockets.

DM: The uber-high level knight offers to restore your character's sight if you go on this quest.

Me: My character doesn't want his sight back.

DM: Yes, he does.

I got up at a decent stopping point, thanked him politely and left, citing incompatible gaming styles.

 

[Ourph]

I usually try to tell the truth (i.e. - you're playing at a time that's inconvenient for me, I'm burnt out on game X, etc.) unless the truth is "I don't like you" in which case I just let the group know I'm not going to be able to show up to anymore games and leave it at that.

 

[Aeric]

Usually a simple "I'm not enjoying the game" will do. I may go into more detail if there are specific points of contention or personality conflicts, in case the DM/group wants me more than they want the rule/play style/obnoxious player that caused me to quit in the first place, but usually I don't.

These days, I play exclusively with friends that I have known for years, which makes it a lot harder to simply up and leave a game I'm not enjoying. I find the old "it's not you, it's me" explanation works well, in any case.