What do I do for a living? Well, I used to be an adventurer, but then I took an arrow to the knee...
What do I do for a living? Well, I used to be an adventurer, but then I took an arrow to the knee...
Once I was a warrior, now I sell warriors a package to ensure their loved ones dont need to pay for a low level adventuring band to drag their sorry corpse out of the dungeon and bury it.
Because they were responsible adults who took care of their final expenses rather then dumping them on their family.
See, I include that as part of my Happy Lairs, Happy Denizens Dungeonowners Insurance package. As a humble assurancer with The Greater Abyssal Employees Insurance COnsotrium (GAEICO for short) I provide several reasonable packages for those who understand their lives, afterlives, or painful coplanar psuedoexistence should be as comfortable and protected as possible.
Some upstart mage burns your favorite tapestries? We cover it.
Your apprentice releases a plague demon and suffers from fiendrot on his... hands? We cover it.
A paladin suffused with the holy will of the divine stinking up your desecrated altar? With our HL/HD DIP a team of neutrally aligned minions will provide white-glove services to clear the body, clean any holy stains, and replace all of your goods after a small deductible.
At GAEICO, you are in excellent hands. Well, claws... Occasionally tentacles or multidimensional extensions of an eldritch will.
What I'm saying is that GAEICO cares.
And remember. With the Winter Solstice coming, our temporary ritual insurance rates are at an all-century low. If you are planning to summon a creature of immeasurable cold from a plane of pure entropy, call GAEICO for that extra protection. Our psychic agents are standing by for any questions, comments, or concerns you may have.
(Se habla Espanol)
(Oadriax Goho Ba'balon)
Slainte,
-Loonook.
And so we give what you have given to us (plus some interest) to your apprentices without the nobility getting their grubby paws on it, because our sages are more powerful then their rogues/thugs.
"I'm a maintenance man for Feyrizon, a mercantile guild specializing in supplying mystical communication services and content for all kinds of mystic devices, ranging from Crystal Balls, to Magic Mirrors, Scrying Ponds, and even handheld communication crystals."