Protagonist
Explorer
I think 3.x is pretty much unique in allowing monsters as characters right out of the box so this will be tough to find elsewhere. I suggest houseruling your own streamlined 3.x
The Dark Eye 3rd edition has all that the thread opener would want, unfortunately, it's in german. Heh.
If GURPS is close, Fantasy HERO is probably closer since you don't want gritty combat. GURPS combat is notoriously more gritty than HERO's.So, what system fulfills most of that? I guess GURPS does, but I haven't looked at it yet. 3.5E was "good enough", too. But apparently I played D&D wrong.
What else?
The Dark Eye 3rd edition has all that the thread opener would want, unfortunately, it's in german. Heh.
Ahhh, TDE, the prime simulationist RPG. However, no monster play in 3e.So, if you´re interested in TDE, Derren, and want to give it a try, buy the basic book. Contains simplified chargen and everything you need to get into the game. It it is TDE 4e, of course, but i wouldnt send anyone back to 3e.
Get it here.

(Dungeons & Dragons)
Rulebook featuring "high magic" options, including a host of new spells.