Someone strips at the table. How do you handle it?

[Desdichado]

Stripping at the table. How do I handle it?

Well, first I get a reasonably firm grip at the base, but not so firm that my hand can't move. Then I move up...

What?
That's not what you meant?

I sure hope the stripper from Rel's picture isn't the one you're talking about. I really don't want to hear about how firm your grip is on the base of an Elvis impersonator stripper...

 

[DaveStebbins]

Do you play in DaveStebbin's group?

I have no idea where you get the idea I have such a risqué group, Curtis. Some of my group are pretty straight-laced, so we have separate parties for that stuff!

This is messed up. Its worse than the DM's girlfriend flirting with me during the game.

How about the DM's wife playing serious footsie with me while her husband was running the game at the other end of the table? I mean, she was all the way up one leg and down the other with a long pause in the middle.

Oh, so that's where Curtis gets those ideas.

-Dave

 

[Darth K'Trava]

For the love of God, why can't you people just imagine gaming with Anna Nicole Smith like normal folks?!

Because we don't want to get our asses kicked by Torm out of sheer jealousy?

 

[Desdichado]

Not only that, imagining gaming with Anna Nicole always brings back memories of that blasphemous monstrosity of a thread where everyone was sharing their twisted gaming dreams--mostly notably of glitterboi pimp Henry in a codpiece.

Aiieeee! That's an image that makes me want to claw my eyes out and eat them.

 

[Darth K'Trava]

So, you've got JL-H naked in your imagination and the best you can do is to try and have her keeping track of flanking and attacks of opportunity? See, in my game, her character is trying to penetrate the king's security by seducing every. single. guard on the way in.

That'd take quite awhile if she ran into a lot of guards... And would she have any energy left after all those encounters? Granted, she'd have a bit of XP for those, but STILL.

 

[Desdichado]

If I were running, she'd run out of guards about the time we ran out of time and energy.

Did I mention that the rest of the Party of Five female cast would be there playing too? Lacy Chabert's actually all grown up now, and I've always had a thing for Neve Campbell.

 

[Darth K'Trava]

So,

You were in a D&D Nudist Game with Dan Rather, Tom Brokaw, Walter Cronkite & Barbara Walters?

Was Richard Simmons the DM? Made all of you do Jumping Jacks for every missed attack?

How many dice did you lose in all those wrinkles?

Not as much as the dinner I just lost!

 

[Steve Jung]

Dear Dragon Forum...

 

[der_kluge]

How about the DM's wife playing serious footsie with me while her husband was running the game at the other end of the table? I mean, she was all the way up one leg and down the other with a long pause in the middle.

Oh, so that's where Curtis gets those ideas.

 

[Arrgh! Mark!]

One of the DM's always takes off his shirt, and often several other players do as well.

Personally, I'm self concious about my pasty-white moon tan.


Edit: The girls tend not to care, and it can get really, really hot where we are. It's not stripping; it's cooling.