Stuff D&D players never say (except when they do)

[Akaiku]

Party to new character: "So... what exactly do you do?"
Artificer: "I make machines to stop spirits and hunt werewolves!"
Both party werewolf and party shamanistic druid cough and ahem.

 

[fba827]

"You look like a good teammate, come adventure with us" (i.e. accepting the new PC because he/she is a PC for the sake of speed and/or simplicity)
-- note in the Gamers 2 they made a similar joke. Now that I think about it, there are variations on some of these lines in the Gamers and Gamers 2.
Might be time to rewatch those.....