Stuff D&D players never say (except when they do)

[Stacie GmrGrl]

This quote from our previous D&D-session doesn't poke fun at the game but still it certainly fits the thread title:
DM: "This creature is mainly a human."
Player: "What?! It's some sort of tranny!"

Wow, that's classy... Not!

Maybe in your little circle of friends that might be funny, but as I am a transsexual woman what you and your group did was dehumanize an entire group of people and it's really crude and insulting.

I can't speak for all, obviously, but for many, the word and use of the word 'tranny' as you guys have used it is very, very derogatory and discriminative.

 

[TanithT]

[MENTION=86279]Stacie GmrGrl[/MENTION] - He said he wouldn't use the word any more, and that the original intent was just to facepalm at the ignorance. Which we have now done, so that can be the end of it.

Back to silly stuffs now.

 

[Stacie GmrGrl]

[MENTION=86279]Stacie GmrGrl[/MENTION] - He said he wouldn't use the word any more, and that the original intent was just to facepalm at the ignorance. Which we have now done, so that can be the end of it.

Back to silly stuffs now.

I didn't read the whole thread...

Yes back to silly stuffs.

 

[Jon_Dahl]

(all of us were playing evil characters)
Cleric-PC casted Speak with Dead and conversed with a dead PC:
"Hey, I can cast Raise Dead and get you back to normal if you pay, let's say, six thousand gold pieces."
Dead PC: "What?! That is way too much! No deal!"
All of us: "..................."

 

[Lanefan]

There are so, so many...over 30 years or so we've accumulated a massive pile of quotes. Here's a few just from the current batch that haven't been typed up yet:

"Let's go get killed!" - a player OOC, trying out a new party battlecry

"By the time we get this session over, 6th edition will have been released." - another player OOC at the start of what looked like a long and messy in-party trial.

"We had so many horseshoes up so many of our orifices!" - a player OOC telling the tale of a battle the party was very lucky to survive.

"Where the hell are we?" - Chembri, a War Cleric, party is plane-hopping
"That might be exactly where you are." - me as DM
"Then that might not be a good question." - Chembri's player.

"If I die, cure me quickly!" - Zxancs, a fighter, to the aforementioned Chembri

"It's either I die or the quest kills me." - Zxancs again, the eternal optimist

"I'm insulted that you dismissed my non-existent suggestion that I didn't make." - Chembri to Zxancs.

"I was just trying to find out how incompetent I am." - Ymet're the wisdom-6 MU fumbles with a weapon
"Well you're doing it wrong." - Kit, a fighter

"What is the striptease value of a buckler?" - a player equips a new PC

Lanefan

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

"We'll need bait to draw them out, something weak & tempting... I know: let's dump a bucket of blood on the Wizard and let him wander around in the field!"
~ my NE Ftr/Th proposing a plan using the party's Mage...









(It worked.)

 

[BriarMonkey]

"Nothing ever happens around here, we don't need to keep a watch." Said as the party camped for the night...

 

[El Mahdi]

Thistleskin the Gnome: You mean this mace (the Scepter of the Sorcer-Kings) is the reason why our cleric can't cast any spells? And all we have to do to get rid of it is use it to kill a God?

Wizard: (with information from a Legend and Lore spell) Yes.

Thistleskin the Gnome: (yelling into the sky) Cyric's a Wuss! Cyric's a Wuss!

(It didn't work...Cyric might be crazy, but he ain't stupid!)

 

[Roland55]

2. They couldn't *all* be trapped!

Oh, yes.

Very familiar.

Followed, usually, by screams.

 

[MarauderX]

11) The constant suggestion by the party rogue: "We could just sneak in and ambush them...", followed by sour glances from the rest of the plate-clad party.
12) "Let's buff and teleport in... again... before they do it to us?"
13) First question to the first merchant in town: "Can I buy some poison from you or what? No, for the rogue... No, not to poison the rogue, for the rogue to poison someone else. Ah, someone we deem evil that deserves it. Um, pretend we didn't have this conversation."